After Pretending To Have Amnesia, My Rival Said I Was His Boyfriend - Chap 35
　Ling Yunfan’s active approach made Ji Canghai’s body stiff, he was stunned for a moment, then slowly raised his hand, stroking Ling Yunfan’s back comfortingly.
　The two faced each other, but Ji Canghai couldn’t see the expression of Ling Yunfan who was buried in his head, so he could only ask softly as if he was afraid of disturbing something: “Are you okay?”
　Ling Yunfan: “It’s okay.” Even though he said that, he still leaned on Ji Canghai’s shoulder and didn’t move.
　Ji Canghai thought for a while, then spoke softly, his words were as soft as the wind in March: “You have worked very hard, you have worked hard all this time, Yun Fan, congratulations on returning to school.”
　Ling Yunfan was speechless, his eyes were sore, and his chest felt tight.
　What he wanted to hear from everyone who came to the restaurant again, he got it from Ji Canghai.
　Is it so easy to get encouragement and approval?
　Ling Yunfan thinks he is a strong person.
　He alone survived the pain of the accidental death of his parents, and he alone shouldered the betrayal of his brother and the debts that should not belong to him.
　He often thinks that even after he has survived such a difficult thing, no matter what happens in the future, he will definitely not be able to defeat him.
　But today, after hearing the suspicion from her college roommates and finding out that she had an accident at the restaurant again, Ling Yunfan felt physically and mentally exhausted and overwhelmed, and hoped that someone could come to comfort her.
　Wait, wish someone?
　No, not hoping for anyone.
　Instead, he hoped that Ji Canghai could comfort himself.
　Ling Yunfan found himself becoming weaker.
　Because there is no need for him to pray, and he will rush to his tenderness regardless of everything.
　”Ji Canghai, what should we do?” Ling Yunfan smiled helplessly, “It seems that I can’t do without you.”
　Ji Canghai: “…”
　Ji Canghai reached out and hugged Ling Yunfan into his arms, tightening his arms.
　Ling Yunfan didn’t refuse, and opened his arms to hug him back.
　Hugging gives warmth, like being close to a charcoal brazier in the howling north wind, and the unintentionally splashed sparks carry a scalding temperature.
　And where Ling Yunfan couldn’t see, Ji Canghai raised the corners of his mouth presumptuously, his smile was a bit distorted because of being too flamboyant.
　-
　-
　After Ling Yunfan returned to school, because he had to make up credits and class hours, his shoulders, which were not weak, were crushed by the busy studies.
　Others are teaching, he is teaching.
　Others are participating in clubs, and he is taking classes.
　Others are cool and unrestrained in the company of the world of mortals, and he is in class.
　The old professor: “Why are you again? How many subjects did you fail?”
　Ling Yunfan: “Why is it you again, teacher, how many subjects do you teach?”
　The full schedule made Ling Yunfan living off-campus inconvenient, but Ji Canghai’s pick-up and drop-off day and night, regardless of the weather, made these inconveniences easier.
　One week after returning to school, Ling Yunfan still hadn’t contacted Zheng Xiong. He was thinking about coming to the restaurant again, full of worries and insomnia.
　Unable to fall asleep, he simply got up, opened the laptop that Ji Canghai gave him, logged into the school system, and took online elective courses to make up credits.
　After this brushing, it was past two o’clock in the morning, Ling Yunfan felt thirsty, so he turned off the computer and went to the living room to find water to drink.
　In the middle of the night, everything was silent.
　Ling Yunfan tiptoed to the living room, went to the coffee table in the dark, and poured himself a cup of warm water.
　Knowing that Ling Yunfan would suffer from stomach pains, Ji Canghai specially bought a desk water dispenser with heating function to ensure that there is always hot water at home.
　Ling Yunfan drank half a glass of warm water in one gulp, let out a sigh of relief, put the glass back to its original place, took small steps, and quietly walked back to the room.
　Walking from the living room to the master bedroom, he passed the guest bedroom. Ling Yunfan was afraid of disturbing Ji Canghai who was in the guest bedroom. When he passed the door of the guest bedroom, he walked very slowly and moved very lightly.
　Therefore, in the still watery darkness of the night, a painful murmur clearly reached Ling Yunfan’s ears.
　Ling Yunfan was stunned, stopped, and followed the sound to look at the guest bedroom.
　The door of the guest bedroom was not closed tightly, revealing a gap, the darkness blended together, there was no light and no light, and the situation inside could not be seen.
　”Ji Canghai?” Ling Yunfan called in a low voice, so soft that he couldn’t hear it clearly.
　In the next second, the painful groans in the guest bedroom became louder, and there was the rustling of bedding and clothes rubbing against each other.
　Ling Yunfan didn’t hesitate anymore, and quickly opened the door. Although his voice was only at a normal volume, it was loud because of the silence around him: “Ji Canghai? Are you okay?”
　The curtains in the room were not drawn, and the cool and white moonlight allowed Ling Yunfan to quickly see the scene in the room clearly.
　Ji Canghai was lying on the bed, his whole body was tense, his hands were clenched tightly, his expression was painful, his whole body was struggling slightly as if he was breaking free from restraints, and his throat was making it difficult to breathe, intermittent panting sounds.
　Ling Yunfan turned on the light in the room, squinted his eyes to resist the glaring light, walked quickly to the bedside, and vigorously pushed Ji Canghai awake: “Ji Canghai!”
　Calling out loudly, Ji Canghai was lifted out of the water like a drowning man, took a sharp breath, and opened his eyes.
　He grabbed the clothes on his chest and gasped for breath, his frightened expression lingering on.
　Ling Yunfan squatted beside the bed, and asked with concern: “Are you okay? What’s wrong with you?”
　”Yun, Yunfan?” Ji Canghai looked at him incredulously, and after a long pause, his expression became normal.
　Ji Canghai reached out to wipe off the cold sweat, took a few deep breaths, and tried to keep his voice calm when he spoke: “I’m fine, I’m just… just having a nightmare.”
　Ling Yunfan: “A nightmare?”
　What kind of nightmare? It made Ji Canghai feel as if he was being hanged, his legs throbbing.
　”Yes, everyone has nightmares, doesn’t it?” Ji Canghai smiled with his eyes bent, and when he curled his lips, he had completely recovered his usual calmness.
　As he was speaking, he reached the bed with his right hand to prop up his upper body, raised his left hand to hook, caught Ling Yunfan’s neck unexpectedly, and pressed the person to him.
　”Speaking of which.” Ji Canghai’s tone was thought-provoking, and his ink eyes had a playful smile, “Yunfan, why did you come to my room at night? Do you want to attack at night? If you answer yes, I will be very happy.”
　Ling Yunfan: “…”
　Hey, my neck!
　Ling Yunfan pushed Ji Canghai’s hand to let him loosen himself: “I can’t sleep in the middle of the night to study online classes. When I went to the living room to get water to drink, I heard movement in your room, so I came in to have a look.”
　Ji Canghai withdrew his hand: “Can’t sleep? Why?”
　Ling Yunfan spread his hands, shrugged, and said like Ji Canghai: “Everyone can’t fall asleep, isn’t it?”
　Ji Canghai smiled: “Yes.”
　He said again: “Then go to rest now, don’t you have to get up early to go to school tomorrow?”
　”Well, that’s true.” Ling Yunfan stood up and walked out of the room, and turned to Ji Canghai when he reached the door, “Are you really okay?”
　Ji Canghai nodded and said firmly, “I’m fine.”
　Ling Yunfan: “Okay then, good night.” He helped Ji Cang close the door, closed the door, and the sound of footsteps disappeared in the master bedroom at the end of the corridor.
　Ji Canghai didn’t continue to sleep, the moment Ling Yunfan left, the forced smile and calmness on his face were all shattered.
　In the darkness, Ji Canghai sat up slowly, resting his aching forehead with his hands.
　In fact, he lied to Ling Yunfan just now.
　He is not having nightmares, but suffering from sleep disorders, which is a nightmare in layman’s terms.
　This disease has been haunting him since the day he witnessed his mother’s suicide, and he cannot get rid of it.
　-
　-
　In Ji Canghai’s impression, his mother was fragile and would break anytime.
　She always sat quietly on the sofa, her eyes were empty, like a walking dead with a beautiful skin.
　His mother never went out, so the place where Ji Canghai played was always the study full of books and toys.
　Only when his father came, Ji Canghai could go out.
　To Ji Canghai, father is also a vague concept.
　When his father showed up at home, his father’s driver would take Ji Canghai out to the park or eat fast food like hamburgers, but the driver would not talk to him much, and just took Ji Canghai home at a fixed time.
　On the days when my father came, my mother was generally no different from ordinary, numb and sluggish.
　But occasionally, my mother would cry, beat things at home wantonly, and curse loudly.
　Ji Canghai felt very scared at first, crying and begging his mother not to do this.
　But in the end, Ji Canghai would only shut himself in the study, and after his mother had finished venting, he would come out to clean up the mess at home and serve his mother a cup of hot water.
　Such a distorted growth environment made Ji Canghai mature prematurely.
　And in his precocity, there is also a weird awkwardness, like a child who runs before learning to walk, can indeed run, but his limbs are uncoordinated.
　After entering elementary school, Ji Canghai found that everyone was different from himself.
　Other people’s fathers and mothers will care about and take care of their children, they will take their children out to play and bathe in the warm sun, they will hug and kiss their children, and they will tell their children I love you and I like you.
　Love, love, you are awesome.
　Ji Canghai had never heard related words from his parents.
　One day, Ji Canghai came home from school and asked his mother, “Why don’t you say you love me? And you never hug me?”
　Mother said numbly: “I can’t say it, I can’t do it, I’m sorry.”
　Ji Canghai thought: Getting love and liking turned out to be a very difficult and incredible thing.
　In the dictionary, those unimaginable and extraordinary things are called miracles.
　To gain love is to wait for a miracle to happen.
　All kinds of later experiences testified to Ji Canghai’s idea.
　Because Ji Canghai lacked to talk to people since he was a child, and his personality was introverted and gloomy, he was always isolated by his classmates after school.
　The initial purpose of this isolation is not malicious, it is just that children do not want to play with people who cannot speak.
　In the end, during the six years of elementary school, Ji Canghai didn’t make any friends.
　After entering junior high school, campus violence entangled him.
　And campus violence is real malice.
　The ridicule and beatings surrounded Ji Canghai all the time, pushing him into the abyss of pain.
　Ji Canghai became more and more certain that there was no one in this world who loved him and liked him.
　Until that day, the day of the downpour.
　When his father came to visit, Ji Canghai needed to leave home, so he could only spend time near the flower garden at the gate of the community as before.
　Unexpectedly, thunder and lightning flashed in the sky, and it rained heavily suddenly.
　Ji Canghai stood there blankly, at a loss.
　Just when the torrential rain poured down, black clouds destroyed the city, and everything became blurred, someone suddenly rushed to Ji Canghai.
　The man said, “It’s raining so hard, why don’t you go home?”
　The man also said, “Do you want to come to my house?”
　Ji Canghai looked at him and thought to himself.
　It’s a miracle.
