Apex Predator - Chap 55

Shen Dai had his mobile phone taken away and his laptop’s internet connection disabled, presumably to prevent him from doing anything irrational.

With no way to leave and no way to contact the outside world, he could only endure each minute and second in excruciating torment.

In the midst of his repeated reflections, Qu Moyu’s every word and every action kept propagating into a long and deep-seated hatred. His consciousness vacillated between clarity and confusion. At times, he found himself doubting everything that he had gone through. The gland, marked by the ebony wood pheromones, seemed to instinctively defy his reason, preserving this physiological bond that led him constantly between denial and disbelief. After all, how could the person who had rescued him from darkness on several occasions have possibly pushed him into an even deeper abyss?

But no matter how many excuses he came up with, he couldn’t lie to himself. When he stood in the way of his Alpha’s interests, the latter would use the most ruthless methods to deal with him. He was nothing but a chess piece; to be discarded whenever convenient.

He forced himself to step back from his feelings of despair, to reflect on his current situation and to find a way out. Of course, he knew that obeying Qu Moyu might be the only option, or at least, it wouldn’t be worse than his current predicament, except, he couldn’t abandon his child.

Over the past few days, he had had countless conversations with himself, using reason, future prospects, and all sorts of practical considerations to make the most advantageous choice which would incur him the least losses, yet all his efforts were in vain. His inner voice was so firm and unyielding, he couldn’t tell whether these were his true thoughts or the mark influencing his mind. The only thing he knew was that he had to protect his offspring.

Which was why the only question now was how to do it.

There were a number of servants at the Qu residence, as well as a guard specifically assigned to watch over him. He had no way of contacting the outside world. He didn’t even have a way to leave this place.

In the evening, Auntie Lan came to the room to bring him dinner.

Shen Dai was sitting on the sofa hugging his knees. He looked at her with a blank expression, his gaze dull and lifeless.

Auntie Lan glanced at the untouched lunch on the table and sighed softly, “A-Dai, please have something to eat.”

He nodded, then shook his head. It was as if he hadn’t heard anything. “Even if you aren’t hungry, the baby inside your belly will be,” she urged him. “It’s only three weeks old. It doesn’t have the physiological ability to be hungry,” Shen Dai calmly answered her. “In any case, it’ll be aborted very soon.”

Aunt Lan looked at him hesitantly. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped herself. Finally, she let out a deep sigh.

The load on Shen Dai’s psychological endurance had already passed its maximum capacity. Though he knew all too well that no one could help him, noticing that Auntie Lan hadn’t left, he couldn’t stop himself from asking in a soft voice, “Auntie Lan, I want so badly to have this child. Is this normal?”

At any given time he found himself questioning his own choices, and yet at any given time, he would find himself resolutely making the same ones. This profound contradiction tore at his heart repeatedly; it seemed his entire being might fall to pieces at any moment.

“It’s normal. That’s your instinct,” replied Auntie Lan. Seeing Shen Dai look so lost and distraught, she couldn’t help but recall the first time they met. This refined and gentle young man, evidently learned and well-versed in literature from just a single glance, had immediately endeared himself to her. How could he have ended up in such a state? Reluctantly, she added, “But you’re still young, this child will only hold your entire life back.”

Shen Dai forced a smile and murmured, “I know.” Raising his head to look at her, he asked, “Auntie Lan, can you let me go?”

He held little hope as he said this. It was more a feeble struggle in a hopeless situation.

Auntie Lan was on the verge of tears: “I’m really sorry. I can’t help you.”

Nodding his head, Shen Dai became silent again. He thought to himself: Then the only chance left would be on the way to the hospital. His sole intention now was to get far away from Qu Moyu, far away from the person who wanted to hurt his child.

Shen Dai didn’t know exactly when he had dozed off, but he was awakened by the sound of movement. Rubbing his eyes, he had just sat up in bed when the door was abruptly pushed open.

He stared in astonishment at the formidable lady before him; It was indeed Mrs. Qu. The first two times he had met her, she had an air of sophistication and grace, yet was so beautiful to the point of being too meticulously crafted — like a display window mannequin used to showcase expensive jewellery, without a single strand of hair out of place. But the Mrs Qu before his eyes had suddenly sprung to life.

Behind her was a whole group of people, including Uncle Heng, who appeared to be caught between a rock and a hard place, and Qu Moyu’s bodyguard, appearing visibly anxious. Shen Dai was so startled that all his sleepiness had dissipated, yet the chaos in front of him left him feeling even more disorientated.

Mrs. Qu glanced at Shen Dai, then turning to Auntie Lan beside her, she instructed, “Fifteen minutes. Help him pack his suitcase.” Auntie Lan walked to the wardrobe with practised ease, took out a suitcase and began folding clothes.

Uncle Heng spoke up worriedly, “Madam…”

“Keep your mouth shut. If any of you dare to make a call, you can pack up your things and leave,” said Mrs. Qu harshly. But judging from her expression, she too was worried.

Quickly coming to his senses, Shen Dai jumped out of bed and began to pack his most important belongings. Didn’t matter where he was going, just as long as he could get away from this place.

His belongings were few, as many things had been provided for him when he first arrived, and he had always known that he was only staying temporarily. In fact, apart from his computer, he could leave without taking anything with him, so everything was packed up very quickly.

Behind the cover of the wardrobe door, Auntie Lan said to him in a hushed voice, “A-Dai, don’t blame the young master. He had to learn about everything, but no one ever taught him about love. Please take good care of yourself from now on.”

Shen Dai felt his heart ache endlessly. His voice choking up, he replied, “Auntie Lan, thank you.” He knew that it was she who had informed Mrs Qu of the situation. She had originally been brought over by Mrs Qu from her family home and had no reason to help him, especially at the risk of getting into trouble with Qu Moyu. Except she still did, and the only reason was her pure kindness.

Taking his suitcase with him, Shen Dai boarded Mrs. Qu’s car. It was only as the car drove past the front gates of the Qu residence that the constriction in his breathing began to ease slightly. He took a deep, heavy breath, but his heart would not stop trembling.

Mrs Qu glanced at Shen Dai. “You should really thank Auntie Lan. She was already getting ready to retire.”

“I am grateful to her, but I am also grateful to you,” he replied, his voice choking up.

“Do you know why I brought you with me?”

“He told me before…that before him, you were forced to abort your Beta daughter.” Mrs Qu appeared surprised.

“He told you that?”

“Yes.”

She fell silent for a moment. “Then perhaps you do mean something to him after all.”

Shen Dai didn’t know how to respond to this. He couldn’t bring himself to criticise her son in front of his mother.

“I’ve always regretted it, regretted being too weak back then. If I had just disregarded everything and given birth to her, I wouldn’t have had to live with this guilt my whole life, and wouldn’t have been…” Mrs. Qu’s face showed no emotion. Perhaps because her sorrow had long since set in over the years, turning into scars weathered by wind and frost. “…incapable of loving my son freely and wholeheartedly.”

Shen Dai said in a low voice, “I finally understand everything you said to me before. He and I are not of the same world. And I just can’t assimilate into such a world.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“I want to find a place to settle down. After the baby is born, I’ll have the mark removed immediately,” explained Shen Dai. Suddenly, a thought struck him, and he quickly added, “You don’t have to worry. I will never, ever use this child to blackmail the Qu family. Not only do I have money saved up, but I’m also a capable person.”

He was definitely not going to be able to keep his job at the Starship Corporation, but with his resume, he was sure to find a well-paying job in the industry.

Even though it meant losing some of his past accomplishments, what was more significant was that he was letting down his teacher who had nurtured him. But at this moment, he had no other options.

“I believe you, and in any case, this has nothing to do with me,” Mrs. Qu glanced at him, her expression turning very gentle. “I did this only to make up for my own regrets. What’s more, this child is my grandson or granddaughter.”

Shen Dai responded gratefully, “Thank you.”

“But there’s one thing I have to warn you about, so you can prepare yourself in advance. You must already have some knowledge about this, but an Omega requires the Alpha’s pheromones throughout the gestation period, the lack of which could easily lead to insufficient foetal development, congenital diseases, and in severe cases, even disabilities.”

“I know, but haven’t there long been gene knockout type Alpha pheromones that can help?”

“There are, but you are carrying the child of an S-level alpha. At present, it’s uncertain whether universal gene knockout pheromones or artificially synthesised pheromones can adequately replace the strong pheromones of an S-level alpha during the gestation period. For the specifics, you will need to consult a doctor.” Her delicately shaped eyebrows furrowed slightly, “That is actually the most pressing issue at the moment. If it can’t be solved by modern medicine, then no one can help you.”

Shen Dai remained stunned for a long time. He had not expected that such a critical conundrum would present itself just when he made the resolve to have this child. If there were no pheromones that could substitute for Qu Moyu’s during the gestation period, he wouldn’t be able to keep the child at all. In which case, all his persistence would have been for nothing.

“I’ve already made an appointment for you with a doctor. We’re going over to see him now,” said Mrs Qu, sighing softly, adding, “You have to be mentally prepared.”

His mind was blank. It was only until Mrs. Qu’s phone rang that he snapped back to reality. Mrs. Qu glanced at her screen, hovering her finger hesitantly over the screen for a moment before sliding it to answer, “Hello?”

Within the car, the faint sound of Qu Moyu holding back his anger reached Shen Dai’s ears.

Despite only being able to catch fragments of sentences, he was able to cobble together a rough understanding of the conversation.

“There’s no point in you telling me all this.”

“Whatever has to do with the company is your own business.”

”Revenge? I wouldn’t say that. On the contrary, I think I’m actually accumulating virtue for the Qu family.”

From beginning to end, her tone of voice remained steady. After putting down the phone, she noticed Shen Dai by her side, anxiously looking at her. “I didn’t think he would have the time to deal with this today,” she remarked, shaking her head lightly.

“….”

“It’s his engagement party tonight,” she explained, taking a look at her watch. “I’ll have to be over there soon.”

Shen Dai’s breath hitched, and the colour in his already pale face instantly drained away. His heart was throbbing with pain, and this pain was something he would have to get used to living with, because he was well aware that his maternal instinct had allowed him to temporarily shut off the valve of his emotions.

Until he finally found the strength to reflect on all that had transpired between him Qu Moyu, those wounds of despair would keep pulling him back into the dark abyss: at every night where he found himself unable to fall asleep, at every morning waking up consumed by obsessive thoughts, and at every moment when memories would suddenly resurface with a vengeance. He didn’t know how long it would take to piece together the fragments of his shattered self.