Be My Baby - Vol.2 Chapter 5 Part 3
“You’re not coming home today either?”
Well past lunchtime on a drowsy afternoon, Eungyo, who had just returned to his desk after finally finishing a long meeting that had continued since morning, closed his eyes in despair at the beeping text message sound.
It had been four days since he hadn’t returned home, using company work as an excuse, unable to face Seonwoo due to the self-loathing and guilt that suddenly rushed in after feeling premature ejaculation in the crime he had boldly attempted under the pretext of being drunk.
He thought it would get better after distancing himself for four days, but the moment he checked the message that came after four days, what he felt was that now he was getting aroused even by text messages.
“…This is driving me crazy…”
He had thought that after escaping from sleep deprivation and sexual frustration, experiencing sufficient guilt and self-loathing, and coming back to his senses, he would return, but… now, four days later, he was becoming a pervert who got aroused even by text messages, on top of sleep deprivation and sexual frustration.
Despite having drunk so much that day, the memory was very, uselessly clear.
The scene on the bed, the feeling of that skin, and the dizziness when the tip touched that flesh were all too vivid, and now even his pride as a human being was hitting rock bottom.
If it’s going to be like this, since he’s already committed a crime, he thought he should have touched a bit more when he undressed him, touched his buttocks, caressed the inner thigh, and since he doesn’t wake up easily once asleep, he could have rubbed against his thighs or lower abdomen…
At the thought that suddenly occurred to him, Eungyo shuddered.
“This is really insane…”
He started to think he desperately needed counseling with a psychiatrist.
At this point, it might be closer to satyriasis rather than just a simple instinctual desire problem.
He had thought it might get better if he distanced himself a bit, but instead, his delusions were getting worse, and to the point where he thought he was justifying himself, the speed of his self-development was alarming even to himself.
This definitely can’t go on.
He needs to overcome this situation somehow, whether through counseling or otherwise.
First, his head needs to become normal to be able to come up with a plan.
Thinking he should look for a trustworthy psychiatrist, he pressed his brow in fatigue and reached for the espresso cup placed beside him, but it was empty.
He didn’t even remember how many cups he had drunk today, and despite the excessive caffeine intake, his head was still foggy.
He knew very well the side effects of caffeine and how harmful it could be in a situation of insomnia, but he needed to keep his wits about him now.
There was a lot of accumulated work.
Due to sleep deprivation, work was slower than usual, and he was about to have to work overtime unintentionally, so just as he was about to press the intercom to ask for new coffee, there was a knock at the door.
Then, before he could answer, the door opened and a very rude guy entered.
“Hey, approve this.”
With a lively voice, Eungyo frowned at the face of his friend who entered.
“If you’re going to come in, pass through the secretary’s office properly.”
“I did pass through properly.”
Clicking his tongue at Yeonsoo, who approached from the side with a shameless smile, Eungyo then spoke to the secretary who had followed Yeonsoo inside.
“Please bring another espresso.”
“Yes.”
With that brief answer, as the secretary looked at Yeonsoo, Yeonsoo waved his hand.
“I’m fine.”
“Alright.”
As the secretary who had bowed slightly in greeting quickly left the office, Yeonsoo put down the documents he was holding in front of Eungyo and asked curiously.
“How many cups of coffee are you drinking today?”
At those words from the researcher with a medical background, worrying that he had been drinking continuously even during this morning’s meeting, Eungyo calmly replied while picking up the documents.
“I gave up counting after three cups.”
“I saw you drink three cups just during the meeting. Plus there’s one cup here, so that’s at least four cups, which is already over the recommended caffeine intake. If you drink more than that, you could go into shock. You’re usually so strict about these things, what’s going on? Is work busy these days? Haven’t you been sleeping?”
At the nagging of Yeonsoo, who had entered the development team of Genitech after graduating from the same high school and university medical school and had already become a team leader, Eungyo replied indifferently while scanning the documents with his eyes.
“I don’t recall asking you for my diagnosis.”
“I’m saying this because you’re doing something you never do. Plus, why do you look so haggard? Your eyes are sunken and you even have dark circles. Why? Did Dr. Lee Seonwoo cause trouble again?”
At Yeonsoo’s question, which was unclear whether he was worried or picking a fight, Eungyo looked at Yeonsoo with an annoyed face.
“Why does everyone think airhead caused trouble when I’m acting strange?”
Stung by the accurate guess, feeling upset, he asked tersely, and Yeonsoo shrugged.
“Because you wouldn’t be affected otherwise.”
At his friend’s answer who knew him well, Eungyo remained silent, unable to respond.
At that silence which substituted for an affirmative answer, Yeonsoo looked at Eungyo curiously.
“Why? What happened?”
“Sit down. It’s something you should know anyway.”
At Eungyo’s expression which somehow seemed serious, Yeonsoo sat down on the sofa in the office.
Meanwhile, Eungyo got up from his chair, approached the sofa, sat down opposite Yeonsoo, and slowly began to talk about what had happened over the past month.
And when he finished the story, the reaction was, as expected, a very refreshing sneer.
“What’s that?”
At Yeonsoo’s reaction, giggling and rolling on the sofa, Eungyo was looking at Yeonsoo with a pathetic face as if he had expected this.
He’s always been like this, but he’s still trustworthy, so he told him, and it’s exactly as expected.
It’s just pathetic because it’s too predictable.
“So, he really got pregnant?”
“Would I joke about this kind of issue?”
“Wow, amazing. As expected of Dr. Lee Seonwoo. So are you living together now?”
“…As you heard.”
At Eungyo’s answer, as if he hadn’t just explained roughly, Yeonsoo clapped his hands while giggling and gave a thumbs up.
“As expected of Lee Seonwoo! He really stepped on Kang Eungyo’s foot properly! This is huge!”
“Somehow I feel quite bad that you’re so happy…”
As Eungyo muttered softly, feeling uncomfortable and unpleasant for some reason, Yeonsoo leaned back on the sofa and continued speaking in a refreshing voice.
“Why wouldn’t I be happy? You’ve finally been caught. You used to boast that you absolutely hated marriage and children, serves you right. You know how pathetically you looked at Gyeong-hwan when he got married?”
At Yeonsoo’s behavior, constantly giggling and grating on his nerves, Eungyo quietly glared at the friend sitting in front of him.
Although not comparable to Lee Seonwoo, he was a recognized genius in Korea, so he had been scouted right after finishing medical school, having been earmarked since high school, and they were working together, but every time he saw him like this, he wanted to cut ties.
The sample size is small, but looking at the engineering and medical people around him, he couldn’t help but develop prejudices about why all science people are like this.
It certainly seems to be a characteristic of that tribe to be simple, thoughtless, and only excessively curious.
“If you came in to scratch at me, why don’t you just leave?”
“I came because I was worried. So, are you losing sleep because of the child born out of stubbornness?”
“That side would be more constructive.”
At the sound of Eungyo sighing as if that wasn’t even a problem, Yeonsoo looked at Eungyo as if surprised.
“Why? Is there another problem then?”
At Yeonsoo’s brief question, Eungyo, who had been sitting quietly, hesitated for a moment whether he should tell this guy or not, then blurted out.
“…Do you know any psychiatrists?”
“Psychiatrists? I know a few. And counselors too. Why? Want me to introduce one to Dr. Lee Seonwoo?”
As Yeonsoo asked that, thinking that it was unlikely but just in case Lee Seonwoo might have developed mental problems due to the pregnancy issue, Eungyo answered slowly after a moment.
“No. I think I need to get an introduction.”
“Why?”
“I feel the need for counseling.”
Unable to say that he couldn’t control his lust boiling over, he deflected like that, and Yeonsoo looked at Eungyo strangely.
“What? Stress counseling? Are you feeling fear or something now that you’re having a child?”
Using the example of Gyeong-hwan, who had married early but didn’t want children, and had received psychiatric counseling for a while due to the sense of responsibility for the child and fear of losing his freedom when he accidentally had a child, Yeonsoo asked with a serious face, worried, and Eungyo clicked his tongue as if finding it pathetic.
“What’s there to be afraid of about having a child? It’s an unexpected situation, but taking responsibility for my child is only natural.”
Even if it wasn’t his intention, Eungyo was extremely cool about things that had already happened.
Knowing that personality well, Yeonsoo also nodded as if understanding those words.
“True, with your personality, you wouldn’t be stressed about something like that. Then, what kind of counseling? Rather than talking to a stranger, why don’t you talk to me? I have a medical license too, you know?”
“You’re not a psychiatrist.”
“Hey, my specialty is hormones and neurology. I’m not a psychiatrist, but I can roughly diagnose you.”
As Yeonsoo shrugged, saying that most psychiatric symptoms can be treated with hormone or neurological medications anyway, so he could at least recommend treatment methods based on symptoms, Eungyo quietly stared at his friend.
After looking at Yeonsoo for a long time with a gaze wondering if he could really trust this guy, Eungyo let out a small sigh as if he had made up his mind.
Since it had come to this, he thought it might be better to talk to someone he knew rather than a complete stranger.
This guy knows the relationship between Seonwoo and himself well, and understands the current situation to some extent, so he doesn’t have to explain everything in detail.
Thinking it would be better to resolve this nearby rather than wasting time and money going far away, Eungyo opened his mouth as if he had made up his mind.
“I haven’t been sleeping well recently.”
“It shows. Your dark circles are no joke right now.”
As Yeonsoo added that he was also showing the obvious symptom of unlimited coffee drinking, Eungyo slowly got to the main point.
“It seems my sex hormones have become excessively active.”
“…What?”
“I can’t sleep properly because I keep thinking about wanting to do it. Even when I do sleep, I end up having those kinds of dreams and waking up.”
“…”
“At this rate, I might become a criminal if I’m not careful… I need to control it to some extent, but willpower alone isn’t enough.”
As Eungyo asked with a sincere face, saying he wondered if it might be a problem with his nervous system or hormones, Yeonsoo, who had been silent at Eungyo’s serious confession, made a dumbfounded face.
“So… you’re saying the cause of your insomnia is sexual frustration?”
“That’s right.”
As Eungyo firmly revealed his self-diagnosis, Yeonsoo gasped for a moment and stared at Eungyo.
Looking blankly at Eungyo for a moment with a face that seemed to wonder if this was really the Kang Eungyo he knew, Yeonsoo, thinking it certainly seemed to be the case, soon gave a brief answer.
“Then just do it.”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean you can’t?”
“I feel like it won’t be resolved unless I do it directly with that guy.”
“Which guy?”
“Airhead.”
“…What?”
“Lee Seonwoo.”
“…What?”
At the same question repeated twice, Eungyo frowned a little.
“I know you heard me properly.”
At Eungyo’s irritated words telling him not to make him repeat himself, Yeonsoo’s mouth fell open.
“You… are saying you can’t sleep because you want to do that with Dr. Lee Seonwoo?”
“Correct.”
The moment Eungyo calmly answered with an excessively serious face, Yeonsoo stopped breathing and asked shortly and firmly.
“Are you crazy?”
“That’s why I’m looking for a psychiatrist.”
“Even so, that’s too much. Don’t you hate him?”
“I’ve never clearly said I hate him.”
Although he had told Seonwoo that things would never work out between them, or that he wasn’t interested in him, he had never said he hated him.
He had clearly started feeling something for that guy a month and a half ago, but even before that, he hadn’t really hated him.
If he had really hated him, he would have scolded him harshly whether Lee Seonwoo was a national treasure-level scientist or a big shot in politics.
Yes, come to think of it, he seems to have liked him from the beginning.
He was such a rare species that you might only see once in a lifetime, so he was drawn to him.
Of course, when he said “Please give me your sperm!” after falling in love at first sight, the feeling of “I should smack this guy!” surged up, so he deliberately ignored him and acted coldly, but he was cute.
Yes, he was cute.
He was a very cute guy because he was lacking.
As Eungyo nodded to himself at this sudden realization, Yeonsoo looked at him in shock.
“Are you saying that seriously right now?”
“Have you ever seen me joke?”
Of course, there had never been such a time, Yeonsoo recalled.
Although they had known each other for 17 years already, Kang Eungyo had never once made anything close to a joke.
Even during their teenage years when they would spout nonsense and giggle, Kang Eungyo had never once said anything unnecessary.
“…I haven’t seen it, but… are you really feeling lust for Dr. Lee Seonwoo?”
“Yes.”
“…”
“So, what’s your diagnosis?”
“…You’re crazy.”
“That’s why I’m asking why I’m crazy.”
Since he had already acknowledged that he was crazy, Eungyo calmly retorted.
But Yeonsoo could no longer remain calm.
“How should I know that?”
“You said you would diagnose me first. So, as someone who majored in hormones and neurology, what treatment method do you recommend?”
“What treatment is there for sexual frustration? You just have to do it.”
“I told you that’s not possible.”
“Just do it.”
Like Eunhyeok, Yeonsoo also simply blurted out a very simple and fundamental treatment method that could solve both insomnia and sexual frustration at once, but Eungyo’s position was a bit different.
“That’s not possible.”
“What’s not possible? He’s a guy who jumped into bed naked, if you say okay, that’s it, right?”
“The situation is a bit complicated.”
“Then what do you want me to do?”
“Isn’t there any other treatment method? A way to suppress sexual urges.”
“…Just take the medicine. There’s that very good sexual impulse control drug that Dr. Lee Seonwoo developed.”
About three years ago, truly by chance, Seonwoo had developed a substance that controls sexual impulses while researching infertility.
After its safety was confirmed through two years of clinical trials, it’s currently being used in treatment research for sex offenders. As Yeonsoo recommended that drug to Eungyo, Eungyo frowned as if he didn’t like that idea.
“Isn’t that almost completely suppressing sexual desire itself, turning people into monks?”
Recalling that terrifying drug said to be even scarier than physical castration, turning people into eunuchs, Eungyo made a face as if that was uncomfortable.
He had hoped for something like exercise or shock therapy rather than medication, and as he was looking at Yeonsoo as if asking if there were no other methods, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.”
Almost simultaneously with the answer, the secretary who entered with coffee put it down on the table and then stopped in place as if he had something to say, glancing at Yeonsoo.
At that sight, Eungyo, who had taken the cup in his hand, gestured with his chin as if telling him to speak, and he opened his mouth with difficulty.
“Um… They say Lee Seonwoo has come to Cafe Mila. They say he just arrived.”
At those unexpected words, Eungyo and Yeonsoo both turned to look at him, and the secretary asked Eungyo the usual question.
“Should I adjust your schedule?”
“…No, that’s fine.”
Normally, he would have made any excuse to go out and show his face, and the other side would have seen his face too, but today was impossible.
Somehow, he felt like he might get aroused even in broad daylight if he saw him now, so he said to just leave it, and the secretary bowed his head in greeting.
“Yes, then.”
After briefly ending the conversation, as the secretary left the room, Yeonsoo gave Eungyo a strange look.
But Eungyo was completely calm.
At that face that was too nonchalant, Yeonsoo leaned towards Eungyo with a dubious face.
“Why do you get reports about Lee Seonwoo coming to the cafe?”
“He hangs around so much that now the manager recognizes him and contacts us.”
“So, why?”
When asked why he receives such reports when he’s not going to go and get rid of him, Eungyo answered briefly.
“If he came to see my face, I should show it.”
Eungyo was shameless.
At least, that’s how Yeonsoo felt.
To think he was doing this behind the scenes while mistreating and ignoring that kid so much in front.
Really wondering if this guy had hurt his head, he stared at him intently, but apart from looking unwell, he was no different from his usual self.
But still unable to believe Eungyo’s brain state, Yeonsoo raised his hand and waved two fingers.
“How many do you see?”
“Don’t play such unfunny jokes. If you’re not going to diagnose me, get out.”
“…Looking at how you’re treating me, you seem sane…”
“Find me a psychiatrist.”
After ending the conversation coldly, saying he had no more business with him, Eungyo stood up from his seat, and Yeonsoo also stood up as if he had nothing more to say.
And as he was heading towards the door, watching Eungyo return to his desk, Yeonsoo suddenly turned back to Eungyo as if something had occurred to him.
“Shall I give you an accurate diagnosis of your condition right now?”
As Eungyo had already lost faith in Yeonsoo, he just waved his hand dismissively without even looking at him, as if shooing away a dog.
At that hand gesture telling him to hurry up and get lost because he was annoying, Yeonsoo precisely informed Eungyo of his diagnosis.
“Lovesickness.”
After leaving that short, strong word, Yeonsoo opened the door and left, and Eungyo, who had been looking at the documents Yeonsoo had brought, threw the documents down with a thud and sat back in his chair irritably.
And then he muttered softly through his teeth.
“Who doesn’t know that?”
He knows the diagnosis better than anyone else, and he also knows the solution all too well, to the point of disliking it.
It’s just that right now, he couldn’t honestly acknowledge it and speak it out loud, so he was just looking for a way to buy a little more time, not that he didn’t know.
“…That damn airhead…”
Wishing he could go back to six weeks ago, before everything happened, Eungyo tilted his head back and closed his eyes, then suddenly got up from his seat after a moment, took out a telescope from his desk drawer, and headed towards the window.
And then, as always, he looked down at the window of the cafe across the street.
But at that moment, what entered Eungyo’s eyes was not the cafe window, but a damn RV car.
“…A habitual offender, I see.”
Just in case, he turned to check the car’s license plate, and sure enough, it was the same car that had blocked his view two weeks ago.
He hadn’t noticed because he hadn’t been looking every day, but the way it was parked right in front of the cafe without any parking signal showed it wasn’t the first time.
Having lost the chance to see his face even from afar, he felt urgent.
He was already getting aroused just from text messages, so he had wanted to see his face through the telescope, but this car was a problem.
“Damn it.”
Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he took a picture of the car with the license plate visible, immediately synchronized it to the computer’s shared folder, then went back to his seat and turned on the intercom.
“Send the photo I just uploaded to the local police station and tell them to remove that car from my sight immediately.”
“Pardon?”
“Report it as an illegally parked vehicle.”
This entire area was a place with tremendous traffic, so parking was strictly prohibited for all vehicles except for disabled vehicles.
Of course, there were still people who did it, but that was only possible in areas other than in front of that cafe.
It’s absolutely not allowed in front of that cafe.
He hadn’t seen airhead for four days already, and someone blocking even this opportunity definitely needed to be eradicated.
“Understood.”
“Report it right now.”
“Yes.”
After ending the intercom call, he was about to check the first-floor cafe again with the telescope when he heard the sound of the door opening.
But without turning towards it, he kept looking through the telescope lens, and unexpectedly, Yeonsoo’s voice was heard.
“What are you doing?”
At Yeonsoo’s reappearance after just having left the office, Eungyo flinched for a moment but soon regained his composure and replied nonchalantly.
“I’m exercising my rights and duties as a model citizen.”
“Not that. What are you doing with a telescope?”
“Cracking down on illegal parking.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Aren’t you peeping at Lee Seonwoo?”
“…Correct.”
As Eungyo coolly admitted it since he had been caught anyway and couldn’t deny it, Yeonsoo stared at Eungyo’s back, this time unable to even laugh.
But Eungyo didn’t care about that gaze and was waiting for the car to disappear.
Thinking that he probably wouldn’t get aroused from just looking at his face through a telescope, he was quietly waiting for the car to disappear when Yeonsoo’s voice was heard right behind him.
“I don’t know anymore. Just hurry up and sign this.”
“…”
“This is urgent. Why aren’t you signing when you were nagging people to proceed quickly this morning?”
At Yeonsoo’s urging, Eungyo finally sat down, put the telescope back in the drawer, then took out a pen from the inside pocket of his jacket and signed the documents.
“Take it.”
“Okay. But don’t drink coffee even if you go to Mila. Just drink juice.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t go.”
“Why? Did you already go?”
“…You can leave now.”
“It’s strange that you suddenly say you won’t go when you said you’d sign if I drank coffee with you. Why?”
“It just turned out that way. Get out. I’m busy.”
At Eungyo’s fickleness, telling him to get lost coldly after wearing him out with nonsensical talk, Yeonsoo stood looking down at Eungyo, holding the signed documents.
Then, frowning slightly, he looked at him for a moment before shaking his head as if he no longer wanted to bother with it and turned around.
“Alright, alright. I’m going, I’m leaving. And stop drinking coffee.”
After leaving that final advice once more, Yeonsoo hurriedly left the office, and Eungyo looked at the screen to focus on work again.
And he made a resolution.
Today, it’s the hotel again, he told himself.
And for a while, for a really long time, he had no intention of seeing Seonwoo.
Until quitting time that day, that is.
***
