Don't Pick Up Boyfriends From The Trash - Chap 199
That night, I don’t know if it was because I saw Jinghong Shi again, but Xiaochi Chi had a nightmare.
The dream is a battlefield of blood and fire, the white horse lying on its back, its loose mane covered with fresh blood, blown by the wind, forming a large chunk of auburn hard locks.
Tingyun Shi turned over the corpses, Yuanheng Yan, Yuanzhao Yan, Yeshu Li, Jinghong Shi, a familiar bloody face in front of him, and then zoomed in.
Xiaochi Chi opened his eyes amidst the rich smell of blood in his nose, and his fingers subconsciously grabbed to the side until they were empty, then he remembered that Jinghong Shi had arranged a separate room for Fengmian Yu.
He got up, used herbal tea to suppress the sweet taste in his mouth, changed into a light, strong suit, and went out through the window without waking Yeshu Li who was on night watch in the courtyard.
Tingyun Shi, the general’s residence in Ding Yuan City, had also been here, so he followed his memory and groped his way to the martial arts arena.
The moon was high, and the moonlight shone on the stones by the martial arts field. Xiaochi Chi picked a silver gun from it and weighed it in his hand: “Take it.”
There is no desire to move in the body, and the hand holding the gun is still a little sweaty, as if the slippery blood from the dream is still attached to his palm.
Xiaochi Chi moved his neck, “Go to bed when you’re tired of fighting. I have things to do tomorrow.”
The body moved as he had instructed.
At first, the way of the gun was not stable, and there were many mistakes, but as the body instincts dipped in, the mistakes were gradually corrected.
The man under the moon dances silently with his gun, his body moving freely, like a young and athletic silver dragon.
The gun momentum ends with the sound of a sharp object breaking through the air.
The teenager held the gun-body flat, beads of sweat glistening on his neck, sliding slowly down the curve of his neck with the magnitude of his panting.
Xiaochi Chi asked Tingyun Shi, who was inside his body, “Still not sleepy, are you?”
He was answered by a clearer mind that was not tired after the exercise.
Xiaochi Chi put the gun in the same place: “Not sleepy is right. There is still half an hour of dawn, if you really sleep over, it is not easy to do.”
Tingyun Shi : “……”
Xiaochi Chi sat on his buttocks on the steps of the cloister by the martial arts arena.
Surrounded by dense darkness, the bright moon hangs high and shines like the sun.
Xiaochi Chi reached out to block some of the harsh moonlight and said, “I’ve been with you for so long, but I haven’t talked to you alone.”
Tingyun Shi is silent, thinking about his own mind.
Xiaochi Chi : “Don’t thank me. It’s something I should do to keep you company.”
Tingyun Shi : “……?”
Xiaochi Chi : “You hire me with your life, I take my life to go to war with you, we are exchanging equals, no one owes anyone.”
Tingyun Shi : “……” Many thanks.
Xiaochi Chi : “Oh, I’ve said I don’t owe anyone anything, and you’re still polite to me.”
Tingyun Shi : “…………”
He didn’t feel like he could have a good conversation with this person.
The cool breeze is like water, blowing the heart to be quiet.
A thin cloud swept across the sky, gauze-like covering some of the moonlight, and Xiaochi Chi’s eyes adjusted a bit, elbows propped up on the steps behind him, one leg propped up, lazily looking up at the moon: “It’s a strange feeling to have nightmares that have nothing to do with you.”
Tingyun Shi : “……” Sorry.
Xiaochi Chi: “Don’t say you’re sorry, it’s not like you want it. As I said, we are equals, everything you have is what I deserve to bear. There’s no reason why I should only enjoy the status of a young general, the glory of the only son of a general.” The pain, the struggle, the hatred and the nightmares are all necessary elements that make up Tingyun Shi’s person.
This time they finally fit the beat.
Xiaochi Chi moved his body: “…… However, psychotherapy can be given away for free, either? When Lucas hid several sessions for me, and spent a lot of money.”
The sick man in his body remained silent.
Even the most experienced psychiatrist has no way to treat a patient who has lost the ability to communicate.
But Xiaochi Chi, the Mongolian doctor, was fearless.
I’ve been sick for about ten years,” he said, “and I’ve been a veteran druggist. I always thought I would be sick to death. Yes, not sick to death, but sick to death.”
“I love to have nightmares too. But my dreams aren’t bloody prickly like yours.”
“I always dream that I’m waiting for someone, sitting at home, or sitting at a restaurant or playground, and just keep waiting until I wake up. Some days I wake up and it takes a while before I know I’m awake and don’t have to wait anymore.”
“I have seen three or four psychologists, they all recommended that I go to the gym more often, a lot of exercise can soothe the mood, and in the gym will inevitably produce physical contact, which helps desensitization treatment …… What is desensitization? To use an analogy, is that you do not like radish, the treatment is to take you to visit the radish garden every day, in your meal every day change to add radish, add a little a day, days and days, radiophobia will be able to get well.”
“I just don’t. I pay people to exercise in front of me. I like to drink sports drinks while I watch them push.”
“The doctor asked me what this was for and I said it made me feel happy too.”
“They told me, Mr. Chi, you are treating the symptoms but not the root cause. I said that even if I pushed into Biology Essential One Protein that chapter of Miss Bodybuilding is also a cure for the symptoms but not the root cause, look at who are like looking at monkeys, look at yourself and still haunted.”
“They said, Mr. Chi you do not bar with us, this happiness is very short-lived, you are to cure the disease, you have to listen to medical advice. All mental illnesses, there is a place in your heart that is not clear, you have to learn to forget, to learn to look forward. Over time, the blockage will be unblocked.”
The Tingyun Shi inside his body listened quietly, thinking that the words of the healers made sense.
Maybe after some more time, he will really forget about it too.
Forget about the past, face a fresh start ……
But Xiaochi Chi turned to me and said, “But why should I forget?”
Tingyun Shi : “……?”
“People always want to forget the past that silly huh self, think forget and let go, itself is an act of courage. I don’t think so, forgetting is no more than a simple escape, than who escaped fast and far, at best, you can count on your running speed, what courage.”
“I’m not going to forget. I won’t forget why I became that way, why I got the disease. Because I couldn’t then, I was too weak, I was stupid, I was tricked.”
“How many people choose to forget and move on because they don’t want to face themselves like that? I don’t judge, I just don’t allow myself to become like that. The people who hurt me wouldn’t want me to forget and move on. I thought about it, but I don’t think so. I’m not happy to let the people who hurt me get their way.”
“Later, the people who hurt me are no longer there, I’m used to carrying that burden, but also can not be put down, they look back again and again, again and again to remind themselves, asking themselves the next time they encounter the same thing, what to do, never let yourself lose the important people again. So year after year, it also came over, the good thing is not to lose anything again, and did not meet any important people.”
“After listening to my pushy rant, the doctor told me, Mr. Chi, you probably don’t need to see a doctor.”
“I know they’re not complimenting me. I’m so sick that the disease has become part of my body and can’t be cured.”
Xiaochi Chi speaks with little intonation, three points of self-deprecation, six points of blandness, and the remaining point, a little mirthful smile.
“I live a pretty happy life and I don’t hate myself like this. I think it’s good to be a happy sick person like this. …… The only thing I’m afraid of is someone hating this kind of me, but it doesn’t matter.”
Xiaochi Chi said, “I can only help you with the first half of the journey this time, to get rid of the people who harmed you; the second half, I can’t live for you.”
“When I’m gone, whether you want to be a happy Mongolian doctor like me, or whether you want to follow medical advice and be the one to put it down, it’s all up to you.”
The company’s voice was filled with genuine envy: “Honestly, you’re much better than me, you have a father, you have friends, and you have money at home. Unlike me, I could only hold a thought to live …… and, you are still young.”
Tingyun Shi is silent.
Some of Xiaochi Chi’s words were very odd, but he could understand most of them by guessing.
The hot sweat has subsided, and the night breeze slides past comfortably against the body.
After listening to him, Tingyun Shi’s mind was more peaceful than ever: “……” Thank you.
Xiaochi Chi rested his arm comfortably, “Okay. I bet you’re cursing me in your mind right now.”
Tingyun Shi : “……??”
Xiaochi Chi : “Talking about it, not at all useful to say. I at least still have a sleeping pill to take, and I can’t give you ……”
Before the words left his mouth, he suddenly felt his right hand suddenly move to the side and grabbed something.
Tingyun Shi focused all her strength on her right hand and finally gained a little autonomy, catching a small butterfly that mistook the moonlight for a pool of water and rested on the steps.
Tingyun Shi’s hand, which is capable of pushing a hundred thousand junks, is shaking slightly from trying to catch a small butterfly wing.
He sent the butterfly to Xiaochi Chi.
…… for you.
This time, it’s a real thank you.
After Xiaochi Chi was slightly stunned, he took the butterfly with his left hand, gathered it in his palm and said with a light smile, “You are welcome.”
Xiaochi Chi blew into his palm and sent the butterfly away.
The frightened white butterfly soon disappeared, and following where it disappeared, Xiaochi Chi saw the shape of a star of enlightenment emerge from the sky.
Xiaochi Chi moved around a bit and jumped up, “It’s getting light. Go ……”
He turned around and caught eyes with Ying Lou, who was sitting in the shadow of the corner of the corridor.
Xiaochi Chi was startled: “Mr. ……, when did you get here?”
Ying Lou pretended to pull on her clothes and dusted off the night dew on her shoulder: “I heard a noise and got up.”
Since entering this world, Xiaochi Chi thought that Ying Lou and herself had a bad docking signal and that she would not be able to hear herself after she fell asleep.
He thought about the long speech he had just given, which had probably disturbed Ying Lou’s sleep, and couldn’t help but feel a little distressed.
Xiaochi Chi quickly stepped forward, helped him into his wheelchair, and said, “I’ll push you to sleep some more.”
Ying Lou let out a low “hmm”.
The two fell into silence again, and for a while, the only sound was the reeling of the wheelchair rolling on the cold stone floor, taking them all the way to the house.
Xiaochi Chi touched the quilt with his hand as he carried Ying Lou to bed.
The quilt was already cold and its owner should have been away for a long time.
Xiaochi Chi didn’t say anything.
Counting the time, it’s time to freshen up yourself.
He tucks Ying Lou in, fixes his hair, and turns to leave.
As she reached the door, Ying Lou’s voice came from behind her.
“…… sorry.” The voice was a little mute, and the emotions contained in it were screaming heart fluttering, genuine heartache, “…… hard work for you.”
Let you be alone and sick for so many years. I’m sorry.
Xiaochi Chi turned her back to him, hanging her head slightly.
A moment later, he took a breath, turned his head, no sadness between the smile, bright teenage pneumatic people very much: “not hard.”
And as Xiaochi Chi turned his head, a tear fell quickly, not touching his face but only wetting his eyelashes a little.
The work of one tear was enough for him to adjust to his condition.
He raised his hand and touched his face to make sure his demeanor was back to normal, then he wiped the faint water stains off his eyelashes and took a big step towards the outside.
But he didn’t pay attention to where the tear went.
Now, in the form of a water drop, it is condensed in the palm of Ying Lou’s hand.
After the tension data was rewritten, it looked like a soft, transparent blob that rolled back and forth inside his palm.
…… his little patient ah.
Ying Lou looked down and carefully touched the still-warm tears with her lips.
Immediately, he took the tear into his body, wrote a simple program, and stored it inside his left chest near his heart.