I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 3
“I never thought it’d be so hard to feed someone a meal…”
Jaewoo sighed and went back to his room. He’d been waiting outside for Hyunjin all evening, and his body was freezing. He rubbed his arms with both hands and wrapped himself up inside the blanket, with the electric mattress pad turned on1. Only then did the chill subside and his body began to warm up.
‘Ugh.’
Seo Jaewoo, Seo Jaewoo. You’ve been harassing Hyunjin so much that he doesn’t even want to look at you. Should he just come clean to Hyunjin about everything? At this rate, he felt like he was going to be torn to pieces as soon as the main top showed up.
‘I can’t do that.’
Distantly, Jaewoo was aware that he was panicking. But it’s hard to keep panicking when you’re wrapped inside a comfy blanket. As his body slowly relaxed in the heat, he felt himself start to drift off.
Not long after that, there was a creak and the sound of a door opening outside. The noise came from Hyunjin’s room. Jaewoo blinked sleepily and checked his watch, it was 4:00 o’clock in the morning.
‘Oh my god!’
Didn’t he only make it back after midnight? Why was he leaving for work again already? The way Hyunjin was working, even someone as strong as an ox would be worn down2. But other than feeding him, what else could he do?
Jaewoo lived in a hillside village off the money he got from rent, but in fact, he had quite a few hidden assets. His deceased grandmother had come from a rich family, and when she passed, she had left it all to him. He didn’t indulge in luxury, but he had enough that he had never really needed to worry about money.
‘But what’s the point of it all?’
It wasn’t like he could use it to help him. Hyunjin would never believe that he was doing it with good intentions.
Eventually Jaewoo drifted off again, and only woke up once it was morning. He got up, hair looking like a bird’s nest, and started cooking breakfast.
First things first. Swaying back and forth like a zombie, Jaewoo quickly cooked up some egg rolls and grilled ham, only interrupted by the door to Hyunjin’s room creaking open. Two cute little chicks poked their heads out.
How great would it be if Hyunjin was won over as quickly as his brothers were? Jaewoo swallowed back a sigh and gestured towards the food.
“Hey guys, let’s eat.”
After hesitating, they approached the table, mouths open like baby birds.
“I grilled ham today too.”
Jaewoo had cooked the thick-cut canned ham according to his own tastes. So crispy on the outside, moist and salty on the inside. With a bit of ketchup added to it, the sourness perfectly balanced the flavor.
It was a pleasure to see the kids eat it by the spoonful. Their puffy cheeks looked like chipmunks, and Jaewoo had to resist the urge to pinch them. He wanted to feed Hyunjin like this too. He just didn’t know if it would ever be possible.
The kids grew plumper day by day. Their sunken cheeks filled in, and their greasy complexions began to clear up. Jaewoo went so far as to supervise their washing up in the evenings, with hot water and soap. He also took over the laundry duties. After all, he had a washing machine!
Naturally, as they became closer, Jaewoo learned the children’s names. The older of the two was Hyeonu. The younger brother was Woohee. Hyeonu, a 5th grader in elementary school, had a serious personality, while Woohee, now a 1st grader, was bright without any guile to him. Jaewoo didn’t think of himself as someone who particularly liked children, but the boys were really cute. As time went on, the difference between the boys then and the boys now started to become obvious.
At that point, even Hyunjin noticed something weird was going on. It was almost like there was someone else watching over them, but Hyunjin knew that couldn’t be the case. In this harsh world, no one did anything for free.
It made Hyunjin uneasy, and he decided to take a day off from his part-time jobs. It wasn’t easy for him to get out of work, but this was about his younger siblings, so it had to be done. For the first time in a long time, Hyunjin was able to lay down and sleep through the night in the same bed as his brothers.
In the morning, a delicious aroma filled the room. It was… soybean paste? Soybean paste stew? Hyunjin’s nose rose up in the air over the blankets, his neglected appetite suddenly roaring to life as he took deep sniffs. He sat up in bed, clutching his hungry stomach as he stared over at the sleeping children. He needed to get their own breakfast ready before his brothers woke up to the smell of freshly cooked food. He looked over at their jar of uncooked rice, and discovered it was empty except for a few grains.
Hyunjin was suddenly terrified. What had the boys been eating all this time? He got out of bed and frantically opened the cupboard doors, but all he saw were neatly stacked rows of instant noodles, too many for him to count.
He didn’t even know if his younger siblings were eating properly. Hyunjin’s shoulders drooped. He was working so hard to try and provide a better life for his brothers, but he’d left them on their own. If he ever met the person who was taking care of them, he should say thank you. Maybe buy them a gift to show his appreciation.
Hyunjin rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a few small bills. What could he buy with this? He didn’t even know. As he was staring down at his hand, lost in thought, a sudden knock came through the wall.
“Kids! The rice is done.”
Hyunjin recognized that voice. As soon as it came through the wall, he saw the kids twitch under the blanket. They’d already woken up, but were pretending to be asleep.
“Hyeonu, Woohee!”
When there was no answer, Jaewoo called their names again. Hyunjin’s expression darkened. Oh god, no… Hyunjin tried to stay calm and opened the door. And there, right in front of him, was Jaewoo, his eyes wide and his hand still raised in the air to knock again.
“Why are you calling my brothers by their names?”
Hyunjin growled ferociously.
“Uh, um. You want to eat?”
“What are you planning?3“
“Um… Soybean paste stew4 with egg rolls, boiled lotus root, and kimchi.”
No, he wasn’t asking about the menu!
“That’s not what I’m talking about. Why are you asking my brothers to come eat?”
“Aren’t you guys hungry?”
Jaewoo replied with a puzzled expression.
“We don’t need your help!”
Hyunjin gritted his teeth and continued.
“Did you forget about what I told you the last time?”
“Stay away from you?”
“Yes.”
But how could he be expected to ignore those kids when they were so skinny? Jaewoo put on a sad expression. Contrary to his garbage personality, Jaewoo’s puppy dog eyes were hard to resist. Hyunjin nearly banged his head against the wall at that thought.
‘Am I losing my mind?’
Oh my gosh, how tired must he be to find that scumbag cute? What was wrong with him. Hyunjin slammed the door in Jaewoo’s face. Then he turned around, slumping tiredly against the door, and called his younger siblings by name one at a time.
“Hyeonu.”
“Yes.”
Hyeonu, who had been desperately pretending to be asleep, reluctantly opened his eyes.
“Woohee.”
“I’m awake!”
Woohee spoke up brightly.
“I asked the two of you not to speak to the uncle that owns the house, right? Did you listen to me?”
“We didn’t…”
“But why?”
Why are you being so friendly with him? Why is he asking for you to eat together? Hyunjin forced a stern expression on his face as he walked over to kneel by the bed. He was so sorry for leaving his brothers alone while he was working, but he thought he was protecting them. He didn’t realize that they’d be in more danger at home.
“But, but…”
Hyeonu spoke in a small voice, then took in a deep, gasping breath and started crying silently5. Woohee stared at his older brother with wide eyes, before starting to cry himself in sympathy.
Hyunjin froze for a moment, before crawling up onto the bed and wrapping the two in his arms. He knew he should be scolding them, but in the end he just didn’t have the heart to be stern.
“Why did you do that, Hyeonu?”
He asked softly, and only then was Hyeonu able to swallow back mucus and stammer out an answer.
“Buh-“
“Buh?”
“B-Because it tasted so good.”
Before this, Hyeonu hadn’t known how heartwarming it could be to eat a home cooked meal. Warm white rice, well-seasoned side dishes, and eating them together with the family he loved6.
Hyeonu sucked in a breath, trying to think of what he could say to convince his brother. Then Woohee suddenly spoke up.
“It’s true! I hate spinach, but I ate spinach all by myself last time!”
That’s how delicious the spinach was. Hyunjin didn’t know what Jaewoo was aiming for, but whatever it was, he truly seemed to have captured the kids’ appetites.
“We can’t.”
“Why? Why not?”
Hyeonu, who had never asked Hyunjin for anything until now, was begging him.
“He even helped me wash up at night!”
Beside him, Woohee eagerly added his own words.
“The laundry, too! Did you know he has his own washing machine?”
What? Why the hell were the kids trying so hard to persuade him? The more the kids insisted, the more suspicious Hyunjin became. He needed to talk to Jaewoo. So after helping them to blow their noses and dry their eyes, he opened the door again. Jaewoo was still standing there in the same position as before.
“Let’s talk for a minute.”
“Okay.”
Jaewoo nodded his head and walked out to a corner of the yard. There wasn’t anywhere else for them to talk without the kids overhearing. While Hyunjin had been dealing with the kids, the fragrant smell of soybean paste stew had spread throughout the house.
“Why are you doing this?”
Jaewoo smiled faintly at Hyunjin’s bluntness. At the sight of it, Hyunjin almost wanted to take Jaewoo’s kindness at face value7, but he couldn’t bring himself to give up so easily.
“I just want everyone to have enough to eat.”
Why was he still spouting such bullshit? Hyunjin swallowed back the words that were about to burst out of his mouth, and instead said.
“How much was it?”
“How much was what?”
“The cost of the food.”
Jaewoo was left speechless. What kind of monster would try to charge them for their food like that?
“No.”
“How much will this buy me? Here, take it.”
Hyunjin shoved his hand into his pocket and took out a couple of crumpled up small bills and handed them to Jaewoo. Even though he tried to refuse, Hyunjin grabbed his hand and forced his fingers open before shoving the money in. Jaewoo nearly cried.
‘I’m trying to be a good person! Why won’t you just accept it?’
As far as Hyunjin was concerned, the conversation was over. He turned to walk away, but before he could, Jaewoo grabbed his arm. Hyunjin reared back and swatted Jaewoo’s hand away like a mosquito.
‘Wow, that stings.’
“Eat the food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You just paid for the food.”
Jaewoo pulled on Hyunjin’s hem this time. Then he pulled out the big guns, and called out to the little baby birds that were peeping out through the crack in the door.
“Let’s eat, kids!”
The children immediately came out and started running around the kitchen to set the table.
“Put out a plate for your brother too!”
“I’m not eating!”
He kept throwing Jaewoo’s hands off as if his touch disgusted him, but each time he did, Jaewoo grabbed hold of him again. He forcibly dragged Hyunjin over to the table and shoved him into a seat. Meanwhile, the children sat on either side of him with the table in the middle.
It all happened so fast.
“Come on, let’s eat!”
“Thank you for the food!”
The meal began with the loud voices of the children. The soybean paste stew had thickened a bit during the scuffle, but it still tasted great. Jaewoo took a hearty spoonful of soybean paste stew, loaded with vegetables, and mixed it with the rice. After that, he tried some of the crunchy boiled lotus root. The taste was great.
Footnotes
전기장판 – “electric blanket”. I had assumed that this was the same as an American electric blanket, ie a normal blanket with heating elements inside of it. Instead, it’s more like a heated mattress pad that goes above the mattress but underneath the sheet and radiates warmth up.
이런 식으로 일하다간 용가리 통뼈라도 버티지 못할 것 같았다 – MTL translates this as ‘If I worked like this, it seemed that even the bones of Yonggary would not be able to withstand it.’ Yongary is a monster from the 1976 film ‘Yongary, Monster from the Deep’, which was basically South Korea’s version of Godzilla. I went with the English idiom of ‘strong as an ox’, meaning someone who’s exceptionally strong and/or tough
무슨 밥 – The exact translation seems to be something like ‘What rice’ or ‘What food’. I modified it to ‘What are you planning?’ because I felt that was ambiguous enough that Jaewoo could plausibly confuse it for ‘What’re you planning [for food]?’ while still letting Hyunjin be frustrated that he misunderstood what he was asking.
된장찌개 – a traditional Korean stew, made from soybean paste and various other ingredients. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doenjang-jjigae
닭똥 같은 눈물 – Literally ‘chicken poop tears’. “Tears that form around the edges of the eyes into big teardrops that eventually succumb to gravity and fall to the ground, supposedly like droppings from a chicken’s butt”. Picture Studio Ghibli style tears.
따끈따끈한 흰 쌀밥에 반찬을 올려서 한가득 먹고, 거기에 찌개를 한 숟가락 떠서 우물우물 씹으면 얼마나 맛있었는지 모른다. – “You don’t know how delicious it would be if you put a side dish on warm white rice, eat it, scoop a spoonful of stew on it, and chew it.” I don’t think Hyeonu is reacting to the food itself, but rather the emotions that come from eating it, which is why I chose to focus on the family aspect, rather than mechanical process of eating
웃는 얼굴에 침 뱉으랴. – “Would you spit on a smiling face?” Basically it’s hard to stay angry at someone who is smiling.
