I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 4
The kids began eagerly shoveling food into their mouths. The only one not eating was Hyunjin, who was sitting at the table with a lost expression on his face.
“Just eat.”
Jaewoo suggested again. Hyunjin hesitated for a moment longer before slowly lifting his spoon and dipping it into the stew. Like a man approaching the executioner’s block, he put the stew in his mouth and tasted it.
The savory, salty taste filled his mouth. It was just a normal soybean paste stew, neither extraordinarily delicious nor horribly repugnant. But the taste was so familiar that it brought tears to Hyunjin’s eyes. It was the taste of the home-cooked stew that his parents used to make before they left. The taste of happier times.
Hyunjin pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and swallowed down a sob.
“Is… Is it not any good?”
Jaewoo looked at Hyunjin worriedly. Did it only taste good to the chef? He snuck another bite, but nothing tasted strange to him. The kids also seemed to be enjoying it.
“No, no.”
After barely answering, Hyunjin lowered his hands and stared at Jaewoo. He’d thought that he understood the other man, but Jaewoo had changed so much recently that it almost made Hyunjin dizzy. On the outside he looked the same, but on the inside it’s like he was a totally different person.
‘But that’s not possible.’
Hyunjin muttered to himself.
“Um, okay? Then eat up!”
Jaewoo excitedly pushed the soybean paste stew in front of Hyunjin and watched as he took a bite. Hyunjin chewed slowly, mixing the stew in with his rice. It had been a long time since he’d had any appetite. His speed increased, until he was nearly inhaling the food in front of him.
“Try some of the side dishes too.”
Once they saw their older brother was eating, the children, who had been keeping an eye on the two of them, turned their full attention back to their plates. Just like that, the bowl of rice in front of Hyunjin disappeared in a flash. Even after finishing the bowl, Hyunjin still felt like he was hungry for more.
His stomach had been empty for so long that it was practically begging for more food. Hyunjin took a deep breath, about to say ‘thanks for the meal’ and leave without causing any more trouble, but Jaewoo acted fast. Before Hyunjin knew it, Jaewoo had shoved a mountain of rice back into his bowl and slid it in front of him again.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying the food. Have some more, eat, eat!”
Hyunjin shut his mouth with an audible click, staring at the rice that had just materialized in front of him. Jaewoo even took his side-dish bowl and filled it back up to the top again. While he was doing that, the kids had finished eating and left to brush their teeth and get ready for school. After filling Hyunjin’s bowls, Jaewoo got up and went to help them.
Even though he knew it was shameless of him, Hyunjin couldn’t help shoveling more rice into his mouth. He only started feeling full after eating three entire bowlfuls. As the warmth of the rice filled his stomach, a comfortable sleepiness began to come over him.
“I’m ready!”
“We’ll be back, brother!”
The children headed off to school, leaving Jaewoo and Hyunjin alone in the house. Jaewoo smiled hopefully at Hyunjin and said.
“Would you like some more rice?”
Had Jaewoo starved to death in a previous life?1Hyunjin didn’t know why he was being so insistent about feeding him. Was this just another of Jaewoo’s tactics? Hyunjin was too tired to figure it out. Then, while he was in the middle of turning over possibilities in his head, his mind suddenly went blank.
“Whoops!”
Jaewoo lunged for the falling Hyunjin, letting out a sigh of relief when he caught him. He touched Hyunjin’s forehead to see if he was sick, but he didn’t feel warm to him. He just seemed to be asleep. After hesitating for a moment, Jaewoo put Hyunjin’s arm over his shoulder and carried him into Jaewoo’s room.
All Jaewoo wanted was for Hyunjin to get a good rest somewhere warm. The rented room that he and his brothers lived in was originally just a storage room, so there wasn’t any heating. They got by with an electric mattress pad, but it wasn’t as good as Jaewoo’s room, which had heat.
“That’s a problem for another day…”
Jaewoo propped Hyunjin up against the wall while he stripped the blankets off the bed. Then he gently lifted him up and tucked the blankets in tightly around him before leaving the room. Jaewoo’s room was connected to the house’s heating system, which used a small charcoal oven in the kitchen to transfer heat up through the floor tiles.2 It was an older method of heating homes, but luckily it was one Jaewoo was proficient with.
In his old life, his grandmother had also lived in a house just like this one. The oven had left burn marks on the yellow linoleum, and his grandmother had always made sure that the warmest room was given to him, her beloved grandson. At times, it had been too warm to even touch directly, like the floor was trying to burn him if he stood there for too long.
At times like that, he used to lay his futon directly over the floor and curl up on top of it to soak in the heat. Jaewoo nodded his head. He still couldn’t remember how he arrived inside the book, but other parts of his old life came to him vividly.
Anyway, what he needed right now was the warmth of the charcoal oven rising up through the floor tiles. A warmth that can’t be compared to a heating pad. A heat that warmed you from your head to your toes.
Jaewoo went to the second storage room and picked up some charcoal briquettes using the briquette tongs. Then he loaded them up into the round hole in the kitchen.
“Get warm.”
He muttered firmly and lit the fire. He finished washing up the breakfast dishes before heading back to his bedroom. The floor had already started warming up.
“Good!”
Now all that was left was to make sure Hyunjin ate a good dinner. Jaewoo smirked and pondered over what to serve. What should he feed Hyunjin in order to get a ‘Wow!’ out of him? As he was thinking about it, he suddenly remembered the pork he had in the freezer.
Stir-fried pork. The king of sweet and spicy meat dishes!
“That might be overselling it.”
The last time Jaewoo had made it, Hyunjin had refused to eat with him, so maybe this was fate. Jaewoo hummed to himself as he fired up the gas stove. Come to think of it, wasn’t the structure of this house kind of strange? There’s a refrigerator and a full-size gas stove, like someone had modernized the kitchen, but on the other hand they still used a charcoal oven to heat the house. Or had Jaewoo’s grandmother loved the floor heating so much that she refused to remove it, even as she renovated everything else?
Jaewoo shook his head absently. What’s the use of pondering this? For now, let’s focus on figuring out what Hyunjin would like to eat. Wasn’t the goal to get along well with him and avoid danger? It’s dangerous to be either too close or too hated. Friendly acquaintances was the plan.
Bang!
He focused on chopping up vegetables, and forgot everything else.
“Ugh, ugh.”
Hyunjin squeezed his eyes closed tighter and rolled over on the bed, covered in sweat. It was already nearly winter, but the room was sweltering. He fumbled for the controls to the heating pad, but couldn’t seem to find it. All the while, Hyunjin felt so hot he was afraid he was going to combust.
In the end, he gave up and kicked the blankets down to his feet. But when the temperature remained just as warm as it had been, Hyunjin opened his eyes.
“What the heck!”
Hyunjin woke up and looked around the unfamiliar room in confusion. It was larger than the room he shared with his brothers and had several pieces of furniture in it. All they had in their room was a small cupboard and a few utensils for cooking. He placed his hand over the floor, feeling the heat rising off of it.
This room seemed to be heated as well.
Hyunjin got up in a daze and opened the door. As he did, a cold wind hit him in the face, bringing him back to his senses a little.
“You’re awake?”
Jaewoo asked with a smile. Hyunjin nodded slowly, his hair going in all directions. After eating properly for the first time in a while and sleeping soundly, his body felt so much lighter. Do other people feel this way all the time? That was depressing…
“Dinner is pork stir-fry.”
“I didn’t ask.”
His voice was hoarse, and he had to cough a few times to clear his throat.
“Why not? It’s better if you know what’s on the menu. Then you have something to look forward to.”
He was right. After hearing about stir-fried pork, Hyunjin’s mouth began to salivate. Today was the first day he ate Jaewoo’s food, and he’s already looking forward to the next time. Despite that, Hyunjin shook his head.
‘No.’
He couldn’t do it. Rather than accepting the unfamiliar warmth, Hyunjin chose to avoid it. He still didn’t trust Jaewoo. Thinking about the future, he needed to be smart about things. He couldn’t afford to put his faith in someone whose nature was so fickle.
“Thank you for lunch, but there’s not going to be a dinner.”
“But it’s already so late, you won’t have time to prepare anything yourself, will you? You already gave me the money, just think of this as a pre-paid meal.”
A pre-paid meal. Hyunjin couldn’t help but blush when he remembered what he’d done. It’d been so childish of him. How much had he actually given him? There was no way it was enough to cover the meals that Hyeonu and Woohee had eaten up to this point. Was it possible that Jaewoo really was doing this out of the goodness of his heart? No. Hyunjin just couldn’t let himself believe that.
“We’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry.”
With that, Hyunjin left Jaewoo and returned to his rented room. Inside, the children were sitting under the duvet with the heating pad running, doing their homework outside of the cold air. When they saw Hyunjin come in, they set their workbooks aside and started chattering at him like monkeys3.
“Brother! The man said he’s making stir-fried pork tonight!”
“It smells so good!”
Looking down at his beloved younger brothers, Hyunjin took in a deep breath.
“Hyeonu, Woohee. Do you really want to eat meat?”
“Yes! Meat is the most delicious thing ever!”
Woohee, who hadn’t picked up on his brother’s mood, replied. Hyeonu kept his mouth shut as if he knew that something was wrong.
“Then your big brother will buy meat tomorrow. Okay? I’ll buy it and make stir-fried pork. So let’s be patient, just for today.”
“Why?”
Woohee asked.
“Our big brother told us he’s a bad guy, remember?”
Hyeonu poked at Woohee with the back of his pencil. However, even as he spoke, Hyeonu had a doubtful expression on his face. It was clear that Hyeonu was saying that because his big brother, the person he looked up to more than anyone4, had told him so, but he no longer truly believed it. In the past, he would have trusted in Hyunjin’s words implicitly. Now, seeing the doubt in his brother’s eyes made Hyunjin’s heart hurt.
“But he’s not a bad guy, is he?”
Woohee complained.
“You can’t tell just from looking.”
Woohee was too young to understand that yet. He crossed his arms and started to pout his lips.
“Then what are we gonna eat for dinner?”
“I’ll cook some delicious ramen for you.”
Hyunjin’s heart ached at the fact that that was all he could offer them.
“And what else?”
Woohee’s lip had started quivering. However, Hyunjin didn’t back down this time. He hadn’t been sure of himself earlier, but now his mind was made up.
In the end, Woohee pouted, threw his homework off to the side, and hid under the blanket. No matter how Hyeonu coaxed him, he refused to come out.
“No! I want to eat meat!”
He also refused to touch the ramen that Hyunjin cooked. When Hyunjin tried to get him to eat, Woohee flailed so hard that he knocked the bowl over onto the blanket.
“Woohee, stop!”
When he realized what he’d done, Woohee started to cry. However, Hyunjin wasn’t angry with him. He just swallowed back a sigh and thought about what he should do with the blanket. His body had felt so light just a little while ago, but now he felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders again.
Footnotes
전생에 밥 못 먹여 안달 난 귀신이라도 붙었나. – “Was it a ghost that was impatient with not being able to eat in a previous life?” I tried to research if this was referring to a specific legend or mythology, but wasn’t able to come up with anything. I’m assuming it’s just referring to hungry ghosts in general
See the notes from chapter 1 regarding this.
참새처럼 조잘거렸다 – chirped like a sparrow.
하늘 같은 형이 – brother like the sky Basically saying that Hyeonu idolizes Hyunjin more than anyone, that he’s like a god to him
