I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 54
When Jaewoo turned on his phone, there were no new notifications. Hyunjin had tried desperately to contact him when he had stayed out late, but this time, he didn’t try to contact him at all.
‘Of course.’
He’d shut him down so coldly, how could Hyunjin possibly want to contact him now? For some reason, Jaewoo’s chest ached, and he rubbed it absently with his hand. First things first: now that he had his phone, it was time to return to the motel. Things would be better after he’d rested for a while. With that thought in mind, Jaewoo began walking towards the door. Then Mujin spoke up.
“Where are you going?”
What a random question.
“Huh? I’m heading home.”
“Home, you say? Right, I remember your home.”
Mujin set down his drink and stood up. Jaewoo had become a bit immune to Mujin’s presence, but seeing him approaching like that made him look a bit threatening. Jaewoo hesitated for a moment, then took a step back.
“Every day you return home, back to that small, shabby house.”
“It’s not that small.”
Jaewoo protested a little.
“It’s small.”
“No, it’s not.”
Mujin came closer and raised his hand. Seeing that, Jaewoo unconsciously flinched, afraid that Mujin was going to hit him. However, instead of doing something violent, Mujin gently rubbed the area around Jaewoo’s eyes.
“You’ve been crying.”
At those words, Jaewoo gently bit his lip. Yes, he’d been crying. He’d broken up with Hyunjin and cried his heart out.
“Why were you crying?”
Jaewoo didn’t respond at all.
“Did that kid make you cry?”
‘That kid’? Who was Mujin talking about? Jaewoo quickly figured out the answer: Hyunjin. It seemed like he was referring to Hyunjin.
“No.”
He answered quickly, but it looked like Mujin didn’t believe him.
“I told you, I hate liars.”
Mujin scolded him. Jaewoo had thought he’d answered naturally, so how did Mujin know he was lying? Jaewoo couldn’t figure it out. As a compromise, he decided to just keep his mouth shut.
“Oh?”
Mujin frowned as if he was displeased. Human emotions weren’t always straightforward, and that applied to relationships as well. Mujin knew that, which is why he found Jaewoo’s tear stains particularly bothersome. Something must have happened between him and that kid, Hyunjin.
He already knew that the two of them had an abnormal relationship. So why did it suddenly bother him so much? He’d brought Jaewoo here merely as a tool to be used.
“I’m going to go back now.”
Jaewoo had noticed Mujin’s feelings, and tried to quickly head to the entrance, but Mujin was just a bit faster.
“What?”
Jaewoo asked, finding himself suddenly caught by the wrist.
“Sleep here.”
“Huh?”
“I said, sleep here.”
“Why?”
“You’re just going to come back here for work tomorrow anyway.”
“…But I still have to go home.”
Jaewoo twisted his wrist and tried to pull away, but Mujin was holding him so tightly that he couldn’t break free.
“That hurts…”
When he said that, the hand around his wrist loosened. Jaewoo’s eyes went wide – he’d never thought that Mujin would actually listen to him. Now that Mujin’s grip had loosened, it was easier for him to break free. This time, when Jaewoo twisted his wrist, his hand slipped out of Mujin’s grasp.
“See you tomorrow!”
Jaewoo blurted out, and opened the front door.
Bang!
Mujin instantly slammed the door shut again. Jaewoo’s heart sank. He had a bad feeling about this whole thing.
“I told you not to go.”
No, no, nonono… Jaewoo turned his head to look at Mujin and croaked out.
“Are you… Are you drunk?”
“No, I’m perfectly sober.”
‘You liar!’ This time Jaewoo was the one that wanted to accuse him of lying. If he wasn’t drunk, why was he doing this? Jaewoo usually treated Mujin rather flippantly, but suddenly he felt shaken by his actions. Wary, Jaewoo quietly took out his cell phone.
“Calling the police?”
Mujin looked down at his hand and smiled. Jaewoo’s face turned red as Mujin read through him in an instant.
“Even if they came, they’d find it difficult to enter the building. It’s that sort of place.”
If the police couldn’t help, then what should he do? There was no one else he could turn to. The only person he had programmed in his phone was Hyunjin, and he couldn’t call him. Jaewoo broke out into a cold sweat.
To Jaewoo, Mujin was a cruel person, who could easily harm him if he chose to. But his actions just now were strangely inconsistent with that idea.
‘It can’t be.’
No, he was reading into this too much. Mujin was Hyunjin’s future partner, that was the established content of the novel. Jaewoo shook his head. There were too many ideas running around in his brain.
“Just sleep, that’s it, right? That’s all I have to do?”
“…Sure.”
Mujin took a bit too long to answer. Jaewoo wondered if he should kick Mujin and then run away right now. But strangely, Mujin didn’t do anything further. It looked like he really just wanted Jaewoo to get some sleep. It was true that there was also a guest room here.
Jaewoo took off his shoes and went back into the apartment. Even though he’d given in on his own accord, he couldn’t help but feel as if God had abandoned him1.
“Now, go lie down.”
“Okay? Wait, right here?”
The place Mujin had taken him to wasn’t the guest room, but the bed in Mujin’s own room.
“Yes.”
Then, while Jaewoo was standing there in bewilderment, he pushed Jaewoo backwards until he was laying flat on the bed. Jaewoo was completely shocked, and before he could try to defend himself, Mujin lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around Jaewoo in a tight hug.
“Wait!”
This couldn’t be happening. No way. Jaewoo tried desperately to escape, but he was no match for Mujin’s strength.
“Be obedient.”
With only those words, Mujin fell asleep.
‘What is going on?’
Jaewoo tried to free himself even though it was too late, but even in his sleep, Mujin grabbed him tighter. It looked like he was going to need to spend the night here.
‘Why is he doing this?’
Jaewoo’s head was already hurting because of Hyunjin, but now it became even worse.
The tears flowed down in an endless stream, drenching Hyunjin’s face, yet he couldn’t make himself stop. All he could do was cry, cry, and cry again. But eventually, the tears began to dry up, and Hyunjin came to his senses and wiped them away with his hands.
This wasn’t the time for him to act like this. The house he was living in belonged to Jaewoo; it was his home. He couldn’t let Jaewoo leave because of him. He had to go bring him back.
‘But what will happen once he’s back?’
His chest was pounding with excruciating pain. Now that Jaewoo had run away from Hyunjin like this, there was only one thing he could do to possibly make him stay. He had to give up on his feelings for him, and act like he had before.
‘Can I really do that?’
Was it possible for him to cage his feelings again, now that they had escaped? Hyunjin questioned himself, but he soon made up his mind. Even if it felt impossible, he needed to make it possible.
‘I’ll hide them.’
The love that he had realized for the first time in his life – he had to hide that feeling. As long as he could stay by Jaewoo’s side, that would be enough.
‘Really?’
Another voice rang out in his mind.
‘Can you really hide it?’
Hyunjin gritted his teeth. It felt like someone was trying to dig his heart out of his chest with an ice-pick. He had experienced so much pain in his life that he thought he was used to it, but it turned out he was wrong. This new pain was enough to cause him to break down again. He collapsed to his knees, calling out Jaewoo’s name.
“Jaewoo. Seo Jaewoo. Jaewoo-hyung.”
But there was no answer; Jaewoo wasn’t there. Knowing that just made the pain even worse, but the reality was that despite his sorrow, he needed to take action.
Hyunjin stood up and wiped away his tears, then headed down the steep slope, searching for any sign of the vanished Jaewoo. Even if it meant killing his emotions, he had to find a way to reassure him and make him come home.
Hyunjin searched every nook and cranny of the neighborhood, and once he finished there, he headed to the next town. But he couldn’t find any sign of where Jaewoo might have gone. After a little while, it occurred to him that Jaewoo might have gotten a room at a motel, or something similar. So he started searching again, this time going to all the motels and asking if Jaewoo was staying there.
“Have you seen anyone that matches that description?”
A man who looked kind of like an idol, wearing a suit. He’d described every inch of Jaewoo’s beautiful appearance to so many people, asking them if they’d seen him, but most of them wouldn’t answer.
“I can’t reveal guest information without their permission.”
“What’d this guy do, anyway?”
It went on like this for a while. Then Hyunjin had a lucky break, and was able to find traces of Jaewoo at one of the motels.
“Oh, that guy? Yeah, I know him. He checked in earlier but went out again shortly afterward.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“No, no idea. How do you know this guy, anyway? Must be close to be looking for him so desperately.”
“He’s… family.”
Hyunjin lied. In truth, he wanted to be Jaewoo’s lover, not his family. But since Jaewoo wanted them to be family instead, then Hyunjin would settle for that.
“Really? How strange, you don’t look alike at all.”
“Can I wait for him here?”
“I can’t let you into the room, but you can wait for him in the lobby.”
The motel owner pointed towards a nearby chair, then turned his attention back to his TV. Hyunjin walked over to the chair, sat down, and checked the time. It was already past dinnertime. He’d already prepared a meal for his younger brothers before he left to meet Jaewoo, so it was about time for them to be going to bed.
Still, just in case, Hyunjin gave them a call on his cell.
─ Brother!
Hyeonu boldly answered the phone and let him know that they were just getting ready for bed.
“Okay, make sure to brush your teeth really well.”
─ They’re all clean!
─ Mine too!
Woohee’s voice came from next to him. Hyunjin had the kindest little brothers. They were the driving force behind Hyunjin being able to hold on for as long as he had.
Hyunjin hung up the phone and waited for Jaewoo. One hour, two hours, three hours. Time continued to pass, but Jaewoo still hadn’t returned. Should he call him on his cell phone? Hyunjin wanted to, badly, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He was terrified that Jaewoo wouldn’t pick up if he did. The truth was, even just waiting here was taking all his courage.
He still didn’t know how Jaewoo would react. All he could do was sit there in fear, waiting.
Footnotes
하늘은 아무래도 그를 저버린 모양이었다. – “It seemed like the sky had abandoned him.”
