I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 56
Jaewoo slowly climbed up the slope. Partway up, he ran into the shadowy figure of a man, hurrying down the slope in the opposite direction. As soon as the figure spotted Jaewoo, it stopped in its tracks. A burst of power flowed through one of the flickering street lights, illuminating their face for a brief moment. It was Hyunjin.
Hyunjin blinked deliberately, closing his eyes tightly before opening them again. Still, the Jaewoo that he saw in front of him didn’t disappear. It wasn’t an illusion; Jaewoo was really there. While Jaewoo had been gone, he’d practiced what he would say to him over and over again, but now that the two of them had actually met, the words sank down deep inside of him and wouldn’t come out.
If he told him, he was afraid that Jaewoo would run away again and refuse to see him. He was terrified of that. He didn’t hurry over. Instead, he took a deep breath and mustered all his strength before approaching cautiously, just in case.
“Hyung.”
As the two finally got closer, a voice calling for Jaewoo flowed out of Hyunjin’s mouth, causing Jaewoo to tremble. Why was he shaking like that? Hyunjin couldn’t do anything to his dearest Jaewoo. He smiled bitterly at that thought, but spoke softly to Jaewoo, who was looking like he might turn around and run away at any moment.
“Come back, hyung.”
Even as he said that, his eyes fell on the untucked, rumpled hem of Jaewoo’s shirt. Jaewoo had never returned to the motel, so where had he been all this time? Immediately, he thought of the person that had called himself Jaewoo’s friend, but there was something strange about that as well. If he had been at a friend’s house, would he really have stayed like this the whole time without even changing his clothes? Hyunjin wanted desperately to ask, but he didn’t feel as if he had the right.
Hyunjin carefully took off his jacket and handed it to Jaewoo.
“It’s cold out.”
Hyunjin was concerned that he was only wearing a suit without even a jacket on this cold day.
“You…”
Jaewoo’s voice was trembling.
“Your clothes are even thinner. Why are you giving that to me?”
“Because you look cold.”
“I’m not cold.”
“Liar.”
Jaewoo was only wearing a suit; in this weather, there was no way he wouldn’t be cold. Hyunjin walked closer to Jaewoo, holding out his jacket to him. As he approached, he realized something.
“Hyung, what’s that?”
Hyunjin could ignore everything else, but he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t see this. Spanning across Jaewoo’s neck were clearly visible bruises. When Jaewoo was away from home and wandering about, where on earth had he gone to end up injured like that? Hyunjin felt sick.
“What?”
Jaewoo’s hand swept over his neck, and an expression crossed his face, as if he had just remembered something. Then it changed to a look of embarrassment as he responded.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Isn’t that what you said the last time too?”
The last time it had just been his wrist, but this time it was his neck. Without even realizing it, the traces of violence on Jaewoo’s body were enough to have Hyunjin fighting back rage. Before he’d grown bigger than most people, he’d also experienced similar things, whether it was from his parents or the debt collectors.
“Who did this to you?”
This time, he really needed an answer. But even after asking, Jaewoo refused to open his mouth. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk. Hyunjin’s chest felt like it was on fire.
“Why won’t you answer me?”
“It’s not something worth talking about.”
Hyunjin gritted his teeth and reached for Jaewoo. Jaewoo had been watching him closely, but when he did that, he flinched and took a step back. Only then did Hyunjin snap back to his senses. He no longer had the right to approach Jaewoo like he used to.
Because he had confessed his hidden feelings, the relationship between the two of them had become awkward. Hyunjin’s head was spinning. He felt like if he tried to get any closer, Jaewoo would run away again.
‘Don’t run away. Please, please don’t run away.’
Hyunjin cried out in his soul and lowered his hand. He looked at Jaewoo, who was staring at him defensively, and said.
“I’m sorry, hyung.”
Jaewoo blinked, an unreadable expression on his face.
“I’m so, so sorry.”
Hyunjin’s body folded in on itself. He knelt on the ground, looking up at Jaewoo, and apologized again.
“I’m sorry. I promise, I won’t do that ever again.”
“W-why are you apologizing?”
“Because I was wrong.”
Hyunjin spoke firmly.
As he looked at Hyunjin, kneeling on the pavement, Jaewoo found himself at a loss for words. Hyunjin had said that he was apologizing because he did something wrong, but what had he done that was so terrible? Just confessing his feelings? That was the only thing that Jaewoo could think of.
‘Stop this, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.’
How could it be wrong for someone to like someone else? The only mistake was that Hyunjin had confessed to the wrong person. That was all.
“Get up. Get up, Hyunjin.”
Jaewoo forgot to keep his distance from Hyunjin, reaching for him and trying to encourage him to stand up somehow.
“The ground is so cold! What if you get sick?”
“Are you worried?”
“Of course I’m worried!”
Jaewoo was upset. He wasn’t the sort of person that enjoyed seeing someone act this way. He felt guilty that this was all happening because of him. It felt like someone was poking his heart with a needle.
Hyunjin stumbled to his feet, a faint smile on his lips. But it was only on the surface; when Jaewoo looked into his dark, dark eyes, they looked as if he was about to cry. He might not be crying just at that moment, but he looked as though he might at any time.
“Then do you forgive me?”
“What have you done that needs forgiveness?”
“You know what.”
All Hyunjin did to Jaewoo was confess to him. When he understood why he was asking for forgiveness, his heart sank.
‘What on earth have I done?’
Jaewoo bit his lip tightly. He wanted to shout to the world that Hyunjin didn’t have to apologize for that. But his last ounce of reason prevented him.
‘This is what should happen.’
Because he was just an intruder in the story, not the person that was Hyunjin’s partner. Hyunjin hadn’t yet realized that the feelings he had right now were just an illusion. No one had ever treated him well, and so Hyunjin had been deceived.
‘So this is the right thing to do.’
Jaewoo bit his lip harder. Then he plastered a weak smile on his face and said to Hyunjin.
“I forgive you.”
At Jaewoo’s absolution, the tears finally fell from Hyunjin’s eyes.
“Thank God. I swear to you, I’ll never do anything like that ever again. So…”
What was he so relieved about? Jaewoo wiped away Hyunjin’s tears, feeling like he’d never hated himself more.
“…please stay as our family. I won’t ask for anything more from now on.”
No, it’s okay to ask for more! It’s just that the other person can’t be Jaewoo.
“I promise. Will you please come back home?”
“…Okay.”
Even as Hyunjin cried, he still draped his jacket over Jaewoo’s shoulders.
“If I wear this, then what about you?”
“It’s fine. I’m not cold.”
What was this sensation? Jaewoo lowered his head and pressed his hand to his chest before starting to walk. Even as Hyunjin continued on ahead of him, he kept looking back to make sure that Jaewoo was still following. The two of them stared at each other as if they couldn’t take their eyes away, until they eventually arrived in front of the house.
“What about the children?”
“The two of them are asleep.”
“They went to bed early.”
Jaewoo crossed over the threshold and entered the house. The image of his house, the one that he had been seeing ever since he woke up in this world, met his eyes. It was an old country house, with a yard with a water tap and a familiar floor where he always ate. He’d only been away for one day, but it felt like longer.
“Go in and rest.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll follow you in a moment.”
The light from the streetlamps couldn’t make it into the yard, and Jaewoo couldn’t get a good look at Hyunjin’s expression. He regretted not coming back earlier. Jaewoo hesitated, then entered the house.
Like Hyunjin had said, the children were lying down on the bed, sleeping quietly. Neither Hyeonu or Woohee had changed in the one day that they hadn’t seen each other. Jaewoo sat in the corner for a moment, lost in thought, but it only served to make his head hurt even more. By the end, he still hadn’t come to a decision.
‘Let’s take a shower and think about it more after that.’
Jaewoo headed to the bathroom, being careful not to wake the children. He looked at his neck in the mirror and saw that the bruise was even larger than he’d thought. The one on his wrist hadn’t healed yet, either. He shook his head and took a quick shower, then left the bathroom, drying his head with a towel. It looked like Hyunjin hadn’t come inside yet.
That might be for the best. It had been so dark earlier that Hyunjin probably hadn’t seen everything, so Jaewoo wanted to take the opportunity to bandage his neck first. He took out the first aid box and covered up the bruised area with gauze.
‘It’s wider than I thought it’d be.’
It turned out Mujin’s hands were just that big.
Jaewoo finished treating himself, then laid down next to the children. Maybe because he was finally home, he ended up falling asleep quickly. He went from feeling like he wanted to lie down for a moment to deeply asleep in the span of about five minutes. Before he was pulled under completely, he thought he saw the door open, and assumed that Hyunjin had come inside.
“Uncle!”
A loud voice hit Jaewoo’s ears. He blinked up at the ceiling in a daze, then woke up and saw Woohee sitting next to him.
“Woah, uncle! Are you hurt?”
Woohee pointed at Jaewoo’s neck, looking shocked.
“Just a little.”
“Augh, what should we do? Have you used any medicine?”
“Yes, I applied a lot. You don’t have to worry.”
Jaewoo patted Woohee’s head and stood up. He needed to take care of the kids. After confirming that both Hyeonu and Woohee were awake, he looked at the spot on the bed next to him and found it empty.
“What about your big brother?”
“He’s not here! I think he went to work.”
Woohee answered bravely.
‘Did I sleep in today?’
Jaewoo checked the time, but it wasn’t any later than most days. Usually Hyunjin would eat breakfast with them before leaving.
‘Is he avoiding me?’
It was possible. Jaewoo heaved a deep sigh, then stood up. He could think about things again after taking care of the children first.
Cooking wasn’t difficult. However, after his mistake the last time he made breakfast, at Mujin’s apartment, Jaewoo was more careful than usual. As a result, the food came out okay. The children were so excited as they sat down at the table and started eating.
‘I’m glad I didn’t mess up this time.’
Jaewoo sat down next to the children and began eating as well.
