I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 67
Mujin’s hand touched Jaewoo’s ragged lip, rubbing his rough thumb against it. Jaewoo couldn’t help but flinch back from the pain. Mujin was staring at him with eyes full of desire; Jaewoo knew what he wanted.
Jaewoo shut his eyes tight.
‘This isn’t a big deal.’
It was just simple physical contact. Jaewoo had to think of it like that, otherwise he felt like he’d go crazy. He’d never even thought about being intimate with a man before, let alone someone like Mujin. Jaewoo took a deep breath.
Just one time. If he kissed him once, wouldn’t that speak louder than a thousand words? Jaewoo stepped closer to Mujin and placed his hand on his shoulder. When he saw that, Mujin’s black eyes went wide.
Jaewoo couldn’t seem to stop staring at Mujin’s lips. They looked smooth and red. Jaewoo’s hand started to tremble, but he couldn’t give up now. He slowly lowered his head until he was only an inch away from Mujin’s face.
‘Just one time.’
Jaewoo closed his eyes tightly, repeating that to himself over and over. Just as Jaewoo was about to press their lips together, he suddenly remembered something that he had forgotten.
He’d been drunk, sitting out on the patio with Hyunjin next to him. The night sky had been dark, with the stars just barely visible, but the moonlight had shone down on them with a pale white light. In his drunken haze, Jaewoo had kissed Hyunjin. It had been a completely spontaneous first kiss between them.
Jaewoo’s hands stopped shaking, and his pale face began to turn red and hot. He’d really kissed Hyunjin. Jaewoo felt his heart skip a beat at the memory that had finally resurfaced.
‘Have I liked him for that long?’
Otherwise, why would he have kissed him? His heart felt like it was full of love for Hyunjin. It was all he could focus on. He pulled back, lifting his hand off Mujin’s shoulder.
‘I can’t do this.’
That was all Jaewoo could think.
“I’ll find another way to repay Hyunjin’s debt.”
Mujin had been smiling smugly, but at Jaewoo’s words, his expression turned cold.
“How?”
“I have some money.”
It wasn’t enough to pay off the entire debt, but it was enough to pay off half of it. It was amazing to think that a normal guy like Hyunjin could owe so much, but when Jaewoo thought about his father, and Mujin, it wasn’t impossible.
Hyunjin’s father was constantly adding to the debt, and Mujin was allowing him, in order to control Hyunjin.
“Even if you use it all, it’s not enough to pay everything.”
Mujin responded. Of course he already knew exactly how much Jaewoo had.
“I’ll get a job, too.”
“You’ll be working your whole life.”
His comfortable life might become a thing of the past. Like Hyunjin before, he might find himself working his fingers to the bone everyday as he slowly crumbled.
‘Even still.’
Jaewoo didn’t want to sell his body in order to resolve this crisis. Not when he had Hyunjin in his heart.
“Then I’ll work for as long as it takes.”
There was a lot he could do. He was good at cooking, and a really good writer.
Seeing Jaewoo’s resolve, the corners of Mujin’s mouth began to quirk up again. However, his smile this time didn’t look happy. Instead, it looked closer to ridicule.
“Do you think earning some paltry wage will actually make a difference?”
It was true. Even doing that wouldn’t change their situation. The fact was, if he continued, his life was going to get harder and harder.
“It’ll be okay. Because we’ll be together.”
Jaewoo spoke confidently. No matter how difficult things became, Hyunjin would be by his side.
“So give Hyunjin back.”
“What a bore.”
Mujin leaned backwards on the sofa and tilted his head up towards the ceiling.
“This isn’t even entertaining anymore.”
Jaewoo instinctively stood up straighter as a chill ran down his spine.
“You’re so strait-laced it’s pissing me off.”
Without realizing it, Jaewoo took a step back before catching himself. He couldn’t afford to let up now. Mujin hadn’t agreed to return Hyunjin yet.
“Unfortunately, I can’t agree to your terms.”
“Why not?”
“Our company prioritizes the wishes of our current customers.”
Knowing Hyunjin, he probably said something about Jaewoo, in case he tried to pay off his debt directly.
“Wouldn’t it be better for the company if the debt was paid?”
“You think we care about that?”
Mujin chuckled as he spoke. Right, that’s the sort of person he was – someone who would prioritize his own enjoyment even if it meant losing enormous sums of money. And his greatest enjoyment came from witnessing the misfortune of others.
“Please let Hyunjin go.”
Jaewoo pleaded. He knew that Mujin was having too much fun with this, but he still couldn’t give up.
“Please.”
Mujin lowered his head and looked at Jaewoo. He’d seen this same thing happen many times in the past. Each time, he’d ridiculed, insulted, and harassed the other person, loving the fact that he was putting them through hell. But today all he felt was disgusted.
When he was young, he’d thought that once he’d gotten money and power, he could do whatever he wanted. Why was it still not enough?
“Please.”
Mujin’s head was beginning to hurt. He stretched out his hand to Jaewoo, and although he seemed to flinch as if shocked, he didn’t avoid Mujin’s touch. The reason why was obvious: he knew that if he did, Mujin might take it out on Hyunjin.
He wanted to subdue Jaewoo, even if it meant using violence, like he had before. And yet, he hesitated. If he tried to force him now, their relationship would never recover. He wanted Jaewoo to keep trying to feed him fermented soybean paste stew while grumbling at him. That was the relationship he wanted. He’d never cared about things like that before, but it appeared that love really had changed him.
Mujin’s hands lost their strength.
“Leave.”
“What?”
“I told you to fuck off.”
Even if he sent him away now, Jaewoo would be back. Hyunjin had only just started his descent into hell, and eventually, Jaewoo would as well. Mujin was content to wait for that moment.
Jaewoo tried to stay, but Dongsoo, who’d arrived at some point while Jaewoo had been begging, threw him out. Even as he was being dragged towards the entrance, Jaewoo’s pleading voice never stopped.
“Gather the men.”
Mujin felt like he needed to lighten his mood a bit.
“Yes sir, I’ll gather them right away.”
Mujin cracked his neck, his expression cold and cruel.
Tank1 frowned as he looked back and forth between the documents in his hand and the young man sitting in front of him. For a new recruit sent to him by those above, his background was unusual.
‘There’s nothing, absolutely nothing.’
Other than being in a massive amount of debt, his past was clean. It looked as if he’d done a lot of odd jobs, but nothing that had to do with their line of work. He had no criminal history, and just from looking at him, his decency was apparent. How had he come to work in a place like this? Then Tank remembered the note that had arrived along with the documents.
‘Put him right in the thick of things, but don’t kill him right away. Director Choi is interested in this one.’
Had Director Choi sent them one of his chewtoys again? Tank shredded the documents and threw them in the trashcan. Director Choi’s terrible habit was infamous throughout the gang – taking decent, upright people who had unluckily fallen into debt and destroying them.
The young man standing in front of him looked fine for now, but he’d soon realize just how far a person could fall in a place like this.
‘Sell your principles and earn your keep by hurting others.’2
When someone was thrust into that sort of life, they tended to break quickly. Tank had a knack for it as well, which was why Director Choi sent people to him.
“Alright. Hey guys, we’ve got some fresh meat!”
It looked like the other men understood what he meant by that – this wasn’t someone that was going to become a colleague. He was just a toy to be broken.
“Wow, it’s been a while since there’s been a newbie.”
“I know, right? This should be fun.”
A few of the guys who were known for their repulsive personalities looked interested, especially after spotting Hyunjin’s handsome face.
“What’s your name?”
“Hyunjin. Yoo Hyunjin.”
“Even his name is pretty.”
One of them laughed. Hyunjin just watched them, his face looking grim the whole time. It seemed like he had no intention of forcing a smile.
“Alright, now that the newbie is here, shall we get to work?”
Tank said as he stood up.
“Are we going to discuss things with that bigshot again today?”
“Yeah, we need to. He hasn’t been listening to us, so we have to show him we’re serious. Now that I think about it, you said that bigshot has a son, right?”
“Yeah, he’s got a son who’s attending a good college.”
“Let’s use him.”
A wicked laugh spread throughout the group. These were people that were used to living in darkness, people who had long since adapted to this filthy life. They were full of malice, and joy at the misfortune of others. Now Hyunjin had joined them.
“Please don’t drag Jaewoo into this.”
Hyunjin had knelt down and begged. He’d begged and begged, terrified that the man he loved might be forced into something awful.
“I’ll try.”
Mujin had said that, but Hyunjin hadn’t been able to trust those words. That’s why, when he next spoke, there was venom in his voice.
“If you do, I won’t stay quiet about it.”
Mujin had looked at him as if he was being ridiculous. It was a look that said, ‘What do I care if you speak up?’ And he was absolutely correct.
There wasn’t much Hyunjin could do, but he still couldn’t hold back any longer. If Mujin really wanted to lure Jaewoo to him, Hyunjin was planning on fighting back, even if that meant he had to stand between them, knife in hand.
It would have been like hitting a rock with an egg, but he was desperate enough to try it.
“Fine. As long as you endure, I’ll leave Jaewoo alone.”
As soon as Mujin had said that, Hyunjin had finally felt relief.
‘Then I’ll just have to hold on.’
If he did that, then Jaewoo could return to his normal life. Although Hyunjin had been worried about his brothers, it couldn’t be helped. Right now, they were safer without him around.
‘Hyeonu.’
Hyunjin hoped that he would be okay without him there. When he’d explained what was going to happen, Hyeonu had looked so anxious. Despite that, Hyunjin’d had no choice but to leave him behind. Hyeonu was only in elementary school, but he’d left him with such a heavy burden.
‘Please let this all end with me.’
At the very least, he hoped that this family debt wouldn’t be passed down to his younger brothers. He wanted them to be able to live normally, like other people. That was one of his things he’d wished for when he made this decision.
Let his own ruin be the end of it.
Footnotes
철마 – Cheolma – Iron Horse (meaning a train). I had to ask in the foxaholic discord server to make sure this was a nickname and not an actual name. Since it’s a nickname, I tried to choose something which had a similar connotation of someone tough/strong, and eventually decided on ‘Tank’
몸도 팔고, 사람 좀 때리고. – Momdo palgo, salam jom ttaeligo. – Sell your body and hit people. I chose to alter this because in the US, ‘sell your body’ pretty much exclusively refers to prostitution, and I didn’t want there to be any confusion about what Hyunjin was getting into.
