I Became the Lousy Side Top - Chap 94
It was so noisy…
Hyunjin opened his bleary eyes and quickly realized that he was somewhere he didn’t recognize. He dug through his memories of the night before, and eventually remembered his alcohol-laden meeting in the soup restaurant. He levered himself to his feet and cracked open the door to the storage area, checking outside. He saw customers lining up for hot soup in the early morning light, and behind the counter, the man he’d met just the day before.
‘I can’t believe I did that.’
He’d behaved so vulgarly in front of someone he’d just met for the first time.
‘But he’s the first person I’ve met besides Mujin that seemed to know Jaewoo well.’
It wasn’t like Jaewoo hadn’t been close to anyone. The problem was that, oddly, the Jaewoo his acquaintances had described had bore little resemblance to the Jaewoo that Hyunjin had known. Listening to them talk about him was like hearing about a stranger. He thought that might be why he had gotten so excited the night before.
‘First, I need to wake myself up.’
Hyunjin ducked back in the room and scrubbed his face with his hands. A blanket had been placed on top of the electric mattress pad, and there was even a jacket lying on top. Even though there was a chill in the early-morning air, he’d slept peacefully all night, warm under those layers.
Hyunjin folded the blanket and then awkwardly made his way out into the restaurant. As he did, Jaewoo, the person he’d met yesterday who shared the same name as his Jaewoo, gave him a small wave.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, thanks to you.”
“Then I guess it’s time for breakfast.”
Jaewoo tried to guide Hyunjin to a seat, but Hyunjin shook his head.
“I need to get home.”
His younger brothers would be waiting for him. He hadn’t made it home last night, so they were probably really worried.
‘I promised them I wouldn’t do that anymore.’
Just one more promise that he’d broken.
“Oh, I see. Then why don’t you take some soup home with you?”
Before Hyunjin could protest, Jaewoo had packaged up some soup and shoved it into his hands.
“Wait, wait.”
Hyunjin dug through his pockets, trying to find some money, but Jaewoo just slapped him on the back as if to say ‘don’t worry about it’.”
“Just take it.”
“How can you just give away food?”
“Consider it a gift, from one friend of Seo Jaewoo’s to another.”
With that, Jaewoo refused the money. Hyunjin looked over at the old woman, his confusion clear on his face, but she just smiled and waved him off.
“Just take it. Go eat. Soup tastes best when you eat it at home.”
Hyunjin could no longer refuse, and he left the restaurant with the soup in hand. The quiet marketplace was starting to come back to life as Hyunjin walked home. All around him shopkeepers bustled about, opening their stores.
Hyunjin barely remembered the walk back. The next thing he knew, he was standing in front of the gate to the house as it opened before him.
“Brother.”
Hyeonu glared at Hyunjin.
“Sorry.”
That was all Hyunjin could say in his defense. After Jaewoo had died, he’d vowed that he would live on for the sake of his younger brothers. However, as time had gone on, he’d realized that doing so was more difficult than he’d anticipated.
He could remember how his heart had beat violently in his chest at the feeling of Jaewoo’s soft lips, warm and with a smile playing across them, touching his own. Those feelings didn’t die when Jaewoo did – they continued to eat at him, becoming a deep wound on his soul.
Sometimes, when he couldn’t bear the pain anymore, he would leave the house, even though he knew his brothers would be worried. It only happened when he couldn’t stand being surrounded by Jaewoo’s memories for a moment longer; when the warring emotions of happiness and sorrow became overwhelming. Those conflicting emotions would sometimes rock him to his core.
“We were okay. We ate the soup and cleaned up afterward. I fell asleep doing my vacation homework.”
That was a lie. Hyunjin smiled bitterly to himself. He knew that Hyeonu must have gone out looking for him. His heart ached at the fact that Hyeonu had learned to hide his feelings from him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. What’s in the bag?”
“More soup.”
“We just had soup for dinner; now we’re having it for breakfast too?”
Hyeonu’s eyes went wide.
“I see.”
As they walked inside, Hyunjin asked.
“Is it okay if we have soup again?”
“Of course it’s okay! That soup was delicious!”
Woohee stumbled out of the room, rubbing his sleepy eyes as he answered. Even though they’d just had it the night before, the soup was still extremely tasty. There were some side dishes in the bag that Hyunjin hadn’t realized were there – kimchi, radish kimchi, and rolled eggs – and they were also excellent.
“Woah, the rolled eggs are really good!”
Woohee stopped eating, a look of shock on his face. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, then hesitated and closed it again without speaking. Although he didn’t say anything out loud, Hyunjin felt like he knew what he wanted to say.
‘It tastes just like the rolled eggs that Jaewoo used to make.’
The three ate the soup and side dishes without speaking after that. Only after they’d finished did Hyeonu awkwardly open his mouth.
“Their food is good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Can we have it again sometime?”
“Just tell me when and I’ll buy it.”
Hyunjin needed to pull himself together. He wasn’t the only one that missed Jaewoo. The children were just like him, trying to hide their pain for the sake of their family.
‘I need to do better.’
Hyunjin knew he needed to. The rest of his life was going to be devoted to raising his brothers, so he had to do it well.
After that, Hyunjin’s life returned to normal. He woke up early in the morning, went to work, and came home late at night. Once he was home, he’d grab a book and start studying. That was his daily routine. But at some point, things began to shift.
It was all thanks to the soup restaurant. They were always busy at dinner time, so Hyunjin began stopping by at other times of the day. Every time, that man greeted him with a smile, and even though Hyunjin knew that he wasn’t his Jaewoo, it still made his heart beat faster every time.
“You’re back here again? Aren’t you eating too much soup?”
“It’s because our food is delicious!”
Jaewoo teased him, and the old woman spoke up, ribbing him in turn. Jaewoo laughed and packaged up the soup, even adding a few more things to Hyunjin’s take-out bag.
Sometimes it was rolled eggs, sometimes it was spicy dried shredded squid1, and sometimes it was meatballs2 or pickled garlic.
“You don’t have to give me any side dishes.”
“I want to give them to you, so why not?”
It was odd, but after that, Hyunjin found himself unable to refuse. Besides, his brothers really liked the side dishes Jaewoo gave them.
“Then I’ll pay you for them later.”
“Don’t worry about it. How much do you think they cost?”
When he said that, the old woman laughed and slapped him on the back.
“You don’t even have a place to lay your head at night3.”
“Hey, grandma!”
“Am I wrong? If he’s offering to pay you, take it.”
But Jaewoo’s stubbornness was unmatched, and he continued to refuse. However, the old woman’s words made Hyunjin think of something: if Jaewoo didn’t have a place to lay his head, did that mean he was homeless? Hyunjin hesitated for a moment. He wanted to find out more, but he knew that if he asked, he might be reopening wounds that were better left untouched.
Jaewoo appeared to notice Hyunjin’s hesitation and gave a little sigh.
“I sleep here in the restaurant. Have you never met someone who’s homeless before?”
At those words, Hyunjin couldn’t help but remember the small room that he used to share with his brothers, the one that his Jaewoo had started clearing out so he could install underfloor heating. They were using it as a storage room these days, but it wasn’t a bad place for a single person to live in.
‘Oh, wait. I think it would still be too cold, right?’
While he was thinking that, the old woman approached Jaewoo once more, scolding him.
“You need to find someplace to stay quickly. It gets cold in that room at night!”
“It’s okay! There’s an electric mattress pad.”
“What do you mean, ‘It’s okay!’?” You don’t even have a place to wash up, so you have to keep going to the public bathhouse. There’s some cheap places nearby, so try and find someplace to rent!”
Jaewoo let out a dissatisfied noise.
“I told you, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!”
Hyunjin had been unconsciously watching the two of them argue as his mind whirled. Suddenly, he spoke up.
“If you don’t mind, would you like to stay in my house?”
Hyunjin almost instantly regretted those words, as he saw Jaewoo and the old woman turn to look at him in surprise. Why had he made the offer so impulsively? It wasn’t even his house – although a lawyer had transferred it to Hyunjin after Jaewoo’s death, Hyunjin still thought of it as Jaewoo’s.
He was grateful that he could stay there, because he didn’t want to leave the house that Jaewoo had loved so much, but other than that, he hadn’t changed anything. There was a small, faint hope, ridiculous as it was, that maybe Jaewoo would come back someday.
“Can I really, truly stay with you?”
“The room is small.”
“That’s okay.”
Now that he’d said it, there was no taking it back. With the old woman’s permission, Hyunjin led Jaewoo back towards his house. He needed to introduce him to his brothers first.
“Wait!”
Jaewoo went into a store and soon appeared carrying a large bag, filled to the brim with snacks. When Hyunjin glanced inside he saw that they were all his brothers’ favorites. It seemed like Jaewoo and his brothers had similar tastes.
Side by side, the two of them climbed the hill. When they arrived home, they found the children busy enjoying their vacation time. They looked shocked to see a stranger with Hyunjin.
“This is my friend.”
They were even more surprised to hear him say that, but Hyunjin really didn’t know how else to introduce him.
“…You have friends?”
“I do.”
Hyunjin ruffled Woohee’s hair with his hand and turned to speak to Jaewoo, who’d been standing awkwardly behind him.
“Please come in.”
“…Yes.”
Entering the yard, Jaewoo slowly looked around. There was a long pause, then he finally smiled and turned to the children, handing them the bag of snacks.
“Here, it’s a present from me.”
Woohee took the bag without any hesitation, shouting.
“Thank you!”
After a quick glance at his younger brother, Hyeonu simply bowed his head in thanks.
“Hyeonu, look! I like this one, and this one’s good too!”
Woohee shook the bag of snacks in excitement.
“I see? Looks like there are some that I like too.”
Hyeonu smiled back at him as he answered.
“I’ll show you the room.”
After watching his younger brothers distribute the snacks, Hyunjin smiled shyly at Jaewoo and showed him to the storage room. When he opened the small door, the slightly-messy room was revealed.
Hyunjin thought that maybe that would be enough for Jaewoo to reject it.
“Looks fine.”
Instead, what he got was a positive answer.
“How much is the monthly rent?”
The rent… Hyunjin hadn’t thought about that. The truth was he didn’t really need the money, but he couldn’t not charge him. Letting him stay for free was risky, because there was a chance the other person might try and take advantage of his generosity.
Hyunjin hesitated for a moment before answering.
“It’s 200,000 won4.”
“What about a deposit?”
“There isn’t one.”
“That’s great.”
The corners of Jaewoo’s mouth turned up in a happy smile. Hyunjin couldn’t take his eyes off him – his smile was so similar to the Jaewoo that he’d known.
‘Look away.’
It took effort, but Hyunjin was finally able to turn his head. That person wasn’t Jaewoo. He wasn’t. He had to keep remembering that.
Footnotes
진미채 – jinmichae – Seasoned dried shredded squid. Dried squid cut into bite sized pieces and mixed with a spicy sauce. Recipe
동그랑땡 – dong-geulangttaeng – Meatballs. Minced meat rolled into balls and breaded with flour, then flattened and fried in a pan. Recipe
집도 절도 없는 놈이 – jibdo jeoldo eobsneun nom-i – A man without a house or temple. She’s basically saying that Jaewoo doesn’t have a place to call home.
About $145. This is the same amount that Jaewoo charged Hyunjin at the beginning of the story.
