I Rely on Beauty to Stabilize the Country - Chap 42

Xue Yuan actually didn’t go crazy again and Gu Yuanbai managed to comfort him easily. Gu Yuanbai was a bit surprised himself.

He warmed himself up for a while, thinking about the things Xue Yuan had told him. It was like a thorn in his heart. And it wasn’t just him: the Imperial court’s inaction was a deep thorn for all of the border officials.

They needed to fight the nomads, frighten them away, get their territory and capture their people for free labor. However, before fighting, the Great Heng’s cavalry needed to be trained first.

In order to train the cavalry, many horses were needed.

The nomads were very strong riders, and cavalry always had a natural advantage over infantry.

The Imperial court didn’t have enough cavalry, and the trade routes weren’t well developed. At that moment, they couldn’t strike the nomads’ southern territory, only send men to beat them up and teach them a lesson before the roads were built. The government would escort the commercial roads and provide armed guards. They couldn’t deal with all of the troops scattered across the entire grassland, but they could deter them and get them to accept the border trade obediently.

The fire lit up Gu Yuanbai’s face. Xue Yuan, next to him, suddenly recovered from his trance and rushed out of the cave.

The rain was still pouring outside.

Gu Yuanbai: “…” Xue Yuan is really crazy.

Xue Yuan, who had been called crazy by the Emperor, got drenched by the rain. He thought that the water should be able to wash away the water in his mind. He wiped his face, feeling that he had sobered up and returned to his senses, and turned back to the cave. He spotted Gu Yuanbai among the crowd at a glance.

Hearing his footsteps, the young Emperor looked up and glanced at him. He was surprised to see how wretched he looked, and then his lips curled up in a smile.

Xue Yuan stared straight at Gu Yuanbai. Something seemed to flash in his eyes, but, before Gu Yuanbai could discern it, Xue Yuan looked away and strode forward.

His clothes were soaked, clinging to his tall, strong body, and he dripped rainwater as he walked. He headed straight to Gu Yuanbai, and Gu Yuanbai looked at him, suppressing his smile. “Official Xue, did you get a head injury?”

The speed of Xue Yuan’s heartbeat was bothering him. He looked at Gu Yuanbai’s pale lips. “Your Majesty, I think something is wrong with me.”

Gu Yuanbai opened his arms and waited. “What is it?”

“My–” heart speeds up when I see you, Xue Yuan thought. “I always want to–” take your pants off.

That didn’t sound right.

Xue Yuan glanced at Zhang Xu and thought of asking him to take off his pants. He had just thought about it when his face twisted suddenly, and he almost puked in disgust.

After the nausea passed, Xue Yuan told himself I don’t have a problem, I still don’t like men.

But then why would I jump around in front of Gu Yuanbai, wanting to take his pants?

How come that now… Gu Yuanbai is all I can think about?

Xue Yuan was confused.

After a while, he leaned down, looming over Gu Yuanbai, and whispered in his ear fervently, “I want to see if you’re pink there or not.”

He sounded like he was looking for an ultimate answer.

No matter what, Xue Yuan wanted to know whether he’d go back to normal just by looking at it.

Gu Yuanbai was completely confused. “Where?”

Xue Yuan’s nostrils flared, and he said frankly, “Your penis.”1

The guards who sat around the fire were talking in low voices in groups of twos and threes. Suddenly, they heard a bang from the side. They turned their heads and saw that the Inspector in Chief had been kicked by their Emperor right on his future descendants.

His Majesty had an ugly expression, fixed in a sneer. Xue Yuan was on his knees, bending over in pain, full of a sour and refreshing sensation. The guards looked at Xue Yuan’s expression and they all felt his pain. They couldn’t help but shudder with a chill.

Gu Yuanbai had a strong foot, but, fortunately, Xue Yuan managed to take a step back just in time to avoid the kick landing with full force. Otherwise, he’d really be lost and end up as the first eunuch of the Xue family.

However, even after avoiding the stronger blow, it still hurt. Xue Yuan curled up in pain. Seeing him like that made Gu Yuanbai finally feel at ease.

He stepped forward. “Heh,” he chuckled. “Do you still know pain?”

Xue Yuan was sweating profusely. He raised his head and glanced at Gu Yuanbai, and his heart began to thump again. He stretched out his hand to squeeze Gu Yuanbai’s ankle and gasped a breath of cold air painfully. “Your Majesty, don’t injure yourself by kicking me.”

At the moment when the heavy rain fell in the sky, the officials of the Weather Bureau broke into a cold sweat.

However, at that moment, nobody cared about whether they were sweating or not. All the palace attendants and soldiers were busy, escorting the princes, ministers and officials who were out hunting to take shelter from the rain. And yet, the most important and anxiety-inducing one, His Majesty, hadn’t been found.

The Emperor had asked the Weather Bureau to monitor the weather often, because Gu Yuanbai needed to be the backbone during that critical period of anti-corruption measures. If he fell ill, he wouldn’t be able to back the anti-corruption officials during his recovery, and they would shrink down and allow the local bullies to take the initiative once more.

And yet, the Weather Bureau wasn’t able to predict the rain on even such an important day!

The palace attendants and soldiers were so worried that they were foaming at the mouth, worrying that the Emperor was caught out in the rain and that he wasn’t wearing enough clothes. After Prince He was escorted back to the palace, soaked wet, by his guards, he learned that the Emperor had yet to return.

After standing there for a while, he woke up with a jolt and then turned around and strode outside, getting his guards to prepare straw raincoats and lead their horses deep into the rain, to find the unaware Emperor.

The guards tried to persuade him. “My lord, the palace guard has already been sent out to find him. If we join them, we’ll just be another drop in the sea.”

“Then we’ll be a drop in the sea,” Prince He said and turned his horse around, the raindrops striking his raincoat and sliding down. “Hurry up.”

The guards had no choice but to put on their raincoats and try to keep up. The horses struggled traveling in the heavy rain and skidded several times on the wet ground. Prince He called out over and over, and he finally ran out of patience and shouted, “Gu Lian——”2

Gu Lian was the Emperor’s name. The characters in the name Yuanbai meant ‘beginning’ and ‘virtue’, which matched the meaning of the character for Lian. When the late Emperor died, the current Emperor had yet to have his coming of age ceremony, and he left those characters for Gu Yuanbai’s courtesy name.3

Prince He was used to using Gu Yuanbai’s name. He called it out at that moment, and the faces of the guards surrounding him twisted and they stopped him, saying, “My Lord! Don’t call out His Majesty’s name directly!”

Wiping his face, a trace of bitterness flashed in Prince He’s expression, and he murmured, “I actually forgot…”

He was in a trance for a moment, recovered, and continued to shout with his subordinates, “Your Majesty——”

In the cave, the Emperor, who was being so anxiously sought after, was getting warmed up by the fire. And Xue Yuan, who was still smiling despite being kicked, tended to the fire with high spirits. Gu Yuanbai was expressionless, and he had yet to give Xue Yuan a good face.

Xue Yuan was usually not a talkative person, but when he looked at the expressionless young Emperor, his mouth wouldn’t stop and he kept smiling, trying to amuse the Emperor to get him to smile.

The front of his body that was facing the fire had been dried by the flames, and the back was still a knotted mess. It’d be hard to say whether he looked handsome or ugly at that time, but he had a talent for amusing people.

“Your Majesty,” Xue Yuan said with a smile, “I’ll tell you an interesting story.”

He chose to tell a story of a scholar that went to the countryside to teach, but he couldn’t even pretend to understand cereals. Warriors and scholars were always at odds: the scholars disliked how rough the warriors were, and the warriors disliked the scholars’ posturing. Therefore, when Xue Yuan finished telling his story, all the guards had a smile on their mouths, and many flat out laughed.

Gu Yuanbai glanced at Xue Yuan. Even though he still wanted to kick him, he also listened to the story.

At first, it sounded amusing, but after thinking it over he felt horribly helpless.

Some scholars in the Great Heng era had never set their feet on the ground, and they didn’t know where the rice in their bowls came from. There were also many scholars that had lived hard lives and devoted themselves to the common people before becoming officials, but then afterwards they became corrupt, making the citizens feel unhappy. They lived eating, drinking and wasting public funds extravagantly. The one Gu Yuanbai remembered the most was Li Shen, the author of “Pity the farmers”; the contrast had shocked his moral worldview back when he was a kid.

He sighed and started worrying about going bald. The road is long, when will it end?

Xue Yuan saw everyone laugh, but the young Emperor sighed. He felt a bit at a loss and, taking the courage he used to lead his troops to war, he said in a deep voice, “If Your Majesty doesn’t like this story, I have others.”

As soon as he had said that, they heard from the cave someone shouting “Your Majesty!” from the outside. The guard that was near the entrance hurriedly stood up, looked out carefully, and replied, “Your Majesty, it’s Prince He, he’s brought some people!”

“What are they here for?” Gu Yuanbai looked at the steady rain outside the cave. “It’s raining so heavily, even if they find Us, We cannot go back with them.”

It wasn’t like Gu Yuanbai feared the rain, but, since Gu Yuanbai’s health was closely tied with the future of the country, he couldn’t afford to take risks.

The guard hesitated. “Should I send Prince He back?”

“Let them come in,” Gu Yuanbai said. “They can warm up by the fire, and we’ll head back together when the rain stops.”

The guard ran to the entrance of the cave and tried his best to call Prince He over, who wasn’t too far away. After a while, Prince He and his guards stepped into the cave. They took off their soaked raincoats. Prince He looked up and, seeing that Gu Yuanbai’s complexion looked good, he felt relieved.

“What is the Weather Bureau doing?” Prince He frowned, walking over to Gu Yuanbai and sitting down. He stretched out his hands to warm up by the fire. “They didn’t manage to predict properly on such an important day. If Your Majesty hadn’t been able to find a cave, I fear you’d all have caught a cold.”

Gu Yuanbai nodded, agreeing. “They really deserve some punishment.”

Prince He couldn’t help but smile. He glanced at Gu Yuanbai again and said without thinking, “How long have you been by the fire, Your Majesty? Your face is all red.”

“Really?” Gu Yuanbai also felt a little thirsty. He was about to ask Zhang Xu to bring him some water when someone handed him a water canteen at his right. It was Xue Yuan.

Gu Yuanbai took a sip and said with a smile, “Prince He, what’s the situation like outside?”

Prince He’s expression softened for a moment, seeing Gu Yuanbai speak to him and listen attentively. Then, he suddenly stiffened up, and his tone became strained. “…all the officials are very worried about Your Majesty, and nobody was injured or fell ill.”

Gu Yuanbai nodded. “Not bad.”

Prince He stared at the fire and fell silent.

His eyes reflected the fire jumping around, and he hurt as much as if he had been set aflame.

Or perhaps it was due to Gu Yuanbai being by his side, so close to him, that he felt so much pain.

“Yeah, I’m totally straight” – Xue Yuan