Mr. Dior - Chap 62

A merman? And what did Zhang Chenfei mean by “also”?!

Jiao Qi instinctively hooked a leg around Big Cock Zhang’s to check that he didn’t have a scaly lower half, then looked him up and down. “You’re a merman?” he asked in disbelief.

“You could say that. We’re the same species, after all,” Zhang Chenfei replied. His own status was a little hard to explain, and he didn’t want to scare the little Merman Prince, so Mr Dior therefore chose to say it this way. In truth, he wasn’t actually a merman; he was Poseidon, ruler of Atlantis.

Who the hell is the same species as you?! Jiao Qi gripped his Laogong’s wrist worriedly, thinking to prevent Mr Fish from excitedly swimming underwater for too long. They’d have to get staff to rescue him if so.

Just holding on to his wrist was futile, however; now that the great God of the Sea had confirmed that his little wife was the merman he had sought so desperately, he flipped around in glee, grabbed his little prince and dove into the water like a beaver.

“Baby, I’ve finally found you. Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you in future. My real name is Dior Atlantis Zhang. Oh, that’s right, you might not remember this name anymore. No matter, we still have a long, long time ahead of us, I will slowly explain this to you,” the God of the Sea said, looking down at the little prince in his arms with compassionate eyes. He used magic to create a current below them, supporting them as they floated on the surface of the water.

“Stop leaning on the pool divider,” Jiao Qi said. He pulled the fellow down from the little floats that divided the pool into lanes and looked around. “Let’s go home.”

Zhang Chenfei looked at his cautious little wife and felt his heart ache. “It’s okay, baby. You haven’t swum in a long while, so swim your heart out today. We’ll go back when you’re tired,” he said. He released the little prince’s hand from his.

“Sigh, you…” Jiao Qi began. The fellow had swum strongly away the moment he had let go, however, and Jiao Qi had no choice but to swim over as well.

Swimming really was a very energy-sapping exercise, though one didn’t feel it when one was still in the water. When Jiao Qi got out an hour later, he felt like his limbs had turned into lead, and were so heavy that he couldn’t lift them at all. He climbed out of the pool with difficulty, wrapped himself in a towel and lay down on one of the deck chairs by the pool to rest.

Zhang Chenfei, who had maintained a rigorous exercise schedule all this while, was still his usual active, bouncy self. He brought two cups of lemon tea over for his little wife to drink. “Walking on dry land is very difficult, isn’t it?” he said.

“Nn,” Jiao Qi took a large gulp of his drink, then heaved a sigh. This body of his was really in need of some training. He thought back on the time he was studying in Amirica. He had actually managed to win an interschool swimming competition then, but all that had gone down the drain when he neglected to exercise these few years.

“It’s all my fault,” the God of Sea said unhappily, caressing his little wife’s wet hair.

“What does this have to do with you?” Jiao Qi asked in confusion.

“I’m the one who made you like this,” Zhang Chenfei said, feeling his heart ache as he kissed him. He went to buy some seaweed to feed his little merman.

Jiao Qi still had no idea what character Big Cock Zhang was in. It seemed like a very complicated story. The only mermaid story he knew was the one by Hans Christian Andersen – “The Little Mermaid”, where the little mermaid was transformed into a human by the Sea Witch.

Anne: Should I search for some mermaid-related stories for you?

Jiao Qi clicked “yes”, and the IntelliBrain immediately came up with a long list of books. CEO Jiao had never seen these before. This could perhaps be said to be a broadening of his horizons…

“The Mermaid Princess Diaries”

“The Overbearing Merman Prince”

“The Merman’s Scheme to Impregnate His Husband”

“Galactic Merman: I Don’t Want To Lay Eggs”

“There are even stories about mermen giving birth?!” Jiao Qi exclaimed.

“An IntelliBrain is unable to comprehend human imagination. Related search terms are ‘Novels about IntelliBrains giving birth’,” Anne said. His electronic voice quavered slightly.

“… …”

Coafg wecmtlcu cblrlis bc j qjmxfa bo rfjkffv, Aljb Hl tjv wbgf bg ifrr gfujlcfv tlr fcfgus jcv kjr ufaalcu eq ab ajxf j rtbkfg ktfc Itfcu Jtfcofl qlmxfv tlw eq lc tlr jgwr.

“Ah!” Jiao Qi exclaimed in shock. Everyone in the pool looked over at them because he had shouted so loudly. Jiao Qi immediately lowered his voice. “What are you up to now?”

“I wasn’t sure before, but now that I know you’re a merman, I can’t bear to let you walk anymore!” Zhang Chenfei declared. Mermen who forcibly turned their tails into feet felt indescribable pain when they walked, as if they were treading on broken glass shards with every step. Zhang Chenfei didn’t want his little wife to suffer that sort of agony, so he carried him all the way to the shower room.

“Who knew a gay couple could be so romantic?” a girl sitting by the pool said, looking enviously at Zhang Chenfei and Jiao Qi. She kicked her husband who was treading water in the pool next to her. “Later, you’d better carry me to the shower room too!”

“Oh come on, how am I supposed to enter the female changing room?”

“You are so useless!”

“… …”

Meanwhile, Jiao Qi did not find being showered by Zhang Chenfei to be romantic at all; to the contrary, he found this intensely embarrassing. This was a high-class gym, and quite a number of people in senior management from companies that had offices nearby were members of this gym. There was a very high chance Jiao Qi and Zhang Chenfei would meet someone that they knew.

Gao Shiqing was dog tired after his training sessions. The first thing he saw when he dragged his exhausted body to the shower room was the Zhang-Jiao couple, whose bodies appeared to now be fused together like a pair of conjoined twins. “What happened? Did he sprain an ankle?” Gao Shiqing asked in concern.

Who sprained an ankle swimming?! The corners of Jiao Qi’s mouth twitched. “I’m alright,” he replied. He patted Zhang Chenfei’s back to ask him to set him down, but the fellow refused to, holding him even tighter as he carried Jiao Qi into a shower room that was meant for use by one person.

When they got out of the gym, Jiao Qi emphasized repeatedly that behaving this way would look very suspicious, and that was how he earned the right to walk out the main door to their car on his own two feet.

On the way back, Jiao Qi made conversation with Zhang Chenfei to try and figure out what kind of character he was, but it seemed like this story was very complicated, and he only managed to get part of the background setting.

It went sort of like this: Jiao Qi was the Prince of the Mermen, and he had somehow switched out his tail for legs and stepped onto dry land. He had been kidnapped by humans and trapped in a perverted scientist’s laboratory. Zhang Chenfei happened to see the tortured little Merman Prince, and found that he looked very much like the little merman he saw some years ago. The little merman had lost his memory and didn’t remember that he was a merman at all.

Zhang Chenfei saved him, married him and conscientiously took care of him. It was only today that the little merman realized his longing to be in the water.

“It’s all my fault,” the great God of the Sea said, his face full of anguish as he caressed his little prince’s face. It was he who gave the little merman his legs and the ability to walk on dry land. He had only meant to play a little joke on him, and had never thought it would lead to so much misfortune for him.

When they returned home, Zhang Chenfei carried Jiao Qi into the house again. Jiao Qi was too tired out from his exertions in the swimming pool earlier and didn’t have the energy to resist, so he just let Zhang Chenfei do as he pleased.

He looked at his Laogong, who was presently in the kitchen making dinner, then decided to call Que De. These last two characters that Zhang Chenfei had played seemed to have a connection to the things that he had recently come into contact with. The previous round, he had been playing “The Vampire Prince”, and this round, he had just had a meeting about “The Pearl of the Sea” before turning into this merman character.

“Do these characters have a certain trigger mechanism?” Jiao Qi asked. He tried to recollect in detail the previous characters that Zhang Chenfei had been trapped in, but those didn’t seem to have any specific connection to things Zhang Chenfei had come into contact with.

“It could be that his IntelliBrain’s memory space is so big that it started doing auto-searches,” Que De said, after some thought. “I recently accepted a patient who’s stuck in a comic dialogue. Every time she has a meal, she cannot stop herself from naming the dishes.”

That patient’s name was probably Jiang Rourou, Jiao Qi thought. “When is that professor of yours coming to Chyna?” he asked.

“He’ll be here very soon, but I’m not sure exactly when. I’ll let you know when the dates are firmed up.”

Dinner was ready when Jiao Qi hung up. Seaweed rice, seaweed soup, scallops fried with meat slices, cold sliced jellyfish, prawns fried in garlic… the dinner Zhang Chenfei had prepared was full of the ocean’s delicacies.

“Actually, I don’t feel any pain when I walk. You don’t need to carry me around all the time,” Jiao Qi said, picking up his rice bowl and making a valiant attempt to claim back some independence in his life.

“I know what you’re concerned about,” Zhang Chenfei said. He didn’t believe his little wife for one second, but he also didn’t expose him immediately, since he was, after all, a compassionate, tender-hearted God of the Sea. “I grant you permission to walk around outside, but if you feel any pain at all, you must tell me immediately.”

As to what was considered “outside”, well, Zhang Chenfei would be the final arbiter of that.

After dinner, Jiao Qi lay prone on the bed, reading stories about mermaids and mermen, trying to figure out which book it was that Louis XIII downloaded.

Zhang Chenfei was showering at this time, and he suddenly poked his head out. “Baby, are you a saltwater fish or a freshwater fish?” he asked, a serious expression on his face. If Jiao Qi was a saltwater fish, then he had to add some bath salts into the bathtub.

Jiao Qi had no way of knowing what kind of fish he was, obviously. “A freshwater fish… I guess?” he answered uncertainly.

“Oh dear. I’m a saltwater fish,” the great God of the Sea said, looking very troubled. “You may dehydrate if we mate.”

Anne couldn’t listen to this anymore. He spoke up. “If I may interrupt, the term “saltwater fish” normally refers to frozen seafood or flash frozen fish. You don’t use it to refer to live fish.”

“… …”

“… The IntelliBrains of humans are so unfriendly.”

Zhang Chenfei put his little wife into the bathtub and saw that his fingers looked very pale from having spent too much time in the pool earlier. He frowned a little. “Little creature, you lied to me. You’re a merman from the ocean, so how could you be a freshwater fish? Are you just trying to avoid mating with me?” he asked.

He picked up a bottle of bath salts and scattered a good amount of it in Jiao Qi’s bathwater, then stroked his smooth legs. Jiao Qi had been experimented on by the laboratory, and his constitution had been irreversibly changed. He could no longer change his feet back into a tail. Without his help, Jiao Qi might never be able to return to the ocean in this lifetime.

“I’ll bring you back to the ocean once I’ve settled everything here,” Zhang Chenfei said.

“Uh, no need for that. I think dry land’s great,” Jiao Qi said, quickly trying to cut off this dangerous train of thought. If Big Cock Zhang took it into his head to toss him into the sea in a moment of excitement, he’d find that he was a Widowed Cock instead of a Big Cock when he next woke up.

Poseidon, the Great God of the Sea, looked very troubled as he gazed at the little merman who was trying to insist on remaining here. Even though the merman prince had lost his memory, he was still unable to give up his obsession with dry land. This made him feel very guilty and anguished all at once.

Zhang Chenfei carried his warm little merman back to the bed, then snuggled him as he told him a story, hoping that this would help him to regain his lost memories earlier.

“A long time ago, there lived an adorable little merman. One day, he was playing by the shore when he met a very handsome man. That man was as beautiful as the Gods. The little merman had never seen such a handsome man before, and he fell straight into the sea of love. Unfortunately, he was a merman, and he couldn’t be together with a human. As such, he cried and pleaded with Poseidon, God of the Sea, to change his tail into legs. He didn’t know that that man was in fact Poseidon himself in human form. Poseidon was bored at the time, and wanted to play a joke on him. He thus agreed to this request. However, when Poseidon went onto the shore to look for him, the poor little creature had already been trapped by an evil scientist…”

As Jiao Qi listened to someone named Zhang blow his own trumpet, he rolled his eyes heavenward. What was this about being as beautiful and handsome as the Gods? Or that thing about the merman crying and pleading to marry him? He couldn’t resist pinching his Laogong’s face. “I think your face got quite a lot bigger recently,” he said.

“Poseidon’s appearance never changes, darling,” Zhang Chenfei said, grabbing one of Jiao Qi’s hands and kissing his fingertips.

“Okay, then why are you remaining on land?”

Poseidon’s eyes darkened. “Because of my mother. She’s been conned by a man who said he would marry her if she came on land, but in the end, he only wanted to experiment on her,” he said.

“Er… isn’t your dad researching infertility issues?”

“You don’t understand. Anyway, this world is very dangerous. You’re not to stray from my side.”

“Uhuh.”