Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 107

You Zhengping woke up to the aroma of breakfast. He looked at his phone. 7:12 AM. Excessive exercise last night, and today he had still woken up according to his biological alarm clock. A Protector’s constitution truly was good.

Of course, however good it was, it still wasn’t as good as that of a certain neglected senior citizen.

You Zhengping looked at the desk calendar spread open on the nightstand. Each page was full of dense writing. All the empty space from before had been filled in. A certain person had spent half the night filling it.

The desk calendar, which had originally been in the study, right now seemed to be saying to You Zhengping, “Hurry up and flip through me,” “Hurry up and read my feelings,” “How could I possibly tell you myself?” You Zhengping rubbed the corners of his eyes. He had only slept for three hours last night. He was light-headed now. How did a certain person have so much energy? He’d been up half the night filling up his diary, and he could still get up in the morning to cook. He probably hadn’t slept all night.

While inwardly You Zhengping was ridiculing a certain person, his hand uncontrollably reached for the desk calendar diary. He’d just…read it like a novel.

He had just casually flipped through a few pages, looking this way and that. While he was getting emotional about it, he read the meaning between the lines—can Xiao You spend some more time with me?

You Zhengping rubbed his temples. He was just about to continue flipping through when Yu Hua came to the bedroom door and said, “Time to get up and have breakfast… Why are you going through my diary?”

You Zhengping said, “…can’t I read it?”

“Of course not, it’s private.” Looking full of righteousness, Yu Hua stepped up to take back his desk calendar diary. “And if you do read it, you have to do it when I’m not here. You can’t let me know you’ve read it.”

Then he took the desk calendar diary back to the study and put it into a drawer with a lock. He stashed the key to the lock in You Zhengping’s pocket.

You Zhengping: “…”

Okay, then. When Yu Hua was asleep, he would quietly scan it, print it, and bind it into a book as before, then read it in private.

The table was covered with a sumptuous breakfast. There were savory vegetable crêpes, fried rice balls, little wontons, green onion pancakes, pumpkin congee and milk, an assortment of bite-sized pastries, all available to eat.

“I haven’t made breakfast in years. I don’t know if it’ll suit your tastes. You can try a bite of everything. If there’s anything you don’t like, just give it to me,” Yu Hua said.

How could he not like it? It was Yu Hua’s homemade food—there was nothing You Zhengping didn’t like to eat.

He made a clean sweep of all the breakfast foods. Yu Hua, watching him, ate a little more than he usually did.

After breakfast, Yu Hua listened to the morning news while washing the dishes and cleaning the apartment. You Zhengping lounged on the couch digesting. He was once again grateful that he was a Protector and could eat a little extra without getting fat, or else in another couple of years he would be losing his looks young.

“Was breakfast good?” Yu Hua asked while he ironed after cleaning the apartment.

“Delicious!” You Zhengping resolutely jumped off the couch to praise Yu Hua.

“I also thought it was good.” Yu Hua smiled faintly. Reservedly, he said, “It’s too bad I have to go to work today and can only eat take-out for lunch. The taste is insipid.”

You Zhengping blinked. Without being told, he felt the loneliness in Yu Hua’s words. He turned his head and watched Yu Hua finish ironing the shirt, then take out one of You Zhengping’s shirts and begin to iron.

Watching him carefully smoothing the wrinkles in the shirt, You Zhengping had a flash of intuition and suggested, “I have to be on call while I’m on vacation. I can’t leave the Xuyang District. But…I want to spend more time with you. Can I come to work with you? You work, I’ll play games. Would that bother you too much?”

“It won’t!” Yu Hua seemed to instantly appear in front of the couch after hanging up the iron. “We sit around doing nothing all day. There’s nothing to bother.”

“But with Yuan Luori’s ability, my identity may be exposed,” You Zhengping said hesitatingly.

Yuan Luori had already seen his spatial ability and natural law power at the base. The organization currently wasn’t planning to have him reveal his identity. You Zhengping wasn’t sure whether he could conceal himself from Yuan Luori.

“Don’t worry. With me there, he won’t see a thing,” Yu Hua said.

Owing to his faith in Yu Hua, You Zhengping didn’t take any precautions before going to the studio. They had gotten up quite early. It was only 8:30 AM when they arrived at the studio. There were few people in the office building who went to work so early. The two of them enjoyed an elevator to themselves. Apparently, during this time, the surveillance camera in the elevator blacked out for about ten minutes. The elevator went up very slowly. No one knew what happened inside the elevator during this time.

Yuan Luori hadn’t gone to pick out the apartment promised to him by the Protection Organization yet. He had still slept in the studio last night.

Last night, Yuan Luori had started a livestream as before, though this time he hadn’t read and pet the dog as usual. He had asked his followers to raise questions during the livestream. He wanted to see how much he could remember without referencing the books.

This interactive mode had greatly increased the fans’ interest. The question and answer mode had lasted until two in the morning. Finally, Yuan Luori had thanked everyone for their help. With everyone’s support and encouragement, he had more confidence in himself.

The fans who had witnessed Yuan Luori grow up all said that they would support him. Yuan Luori had also instantly given an advertisement for the talent show. According to common practice, he took a screenshot of the numbers so it could be sent to the show group with the rest to reap the rewards.

Having stayed up late last night, Yuan Luori got up rather late in the morning. He hastily walked Director Ha and quickly swept the office so Yu Hua wouldn’t see dust and get mad when he got there.

The office’s cubicles had been ruined by Feng Kui the day before. Huan Zixu had found superglue and managed to force the partitions to stay in place. Yuan Luori knew that the partitions weren’t sturdy. He had to be careful when wiping them clean.

In order to clean up every dog hair in the studio, he took off his glasses and asked the parrot to help him clean using a lint roller.

The parrot told him that there was quite a bit of dust on the partitions. Yuan Luori held the lint roller and lightly leapt up to the ceiling. His feet, as if glued, firmly stuck him upside down to the ceiling. He was in a good mood. He hummed a tune he had learned on the talent show while seriously cleaning the dust off the edges of the partitions.

Suddenly, Yuan Luori’s eyes went black. As if he had gone blind, he couldn’t see anything. He knew that Yu Hua had come. He panicked and forgot that he was hanging off the ceiling in defiance of gravity. He frantically wanted to hide. He ran a single step and fell down, crashing right into the unsteady partitions. The partitions, which had been glued so they looked all right collapsed again.

“Our studio is much better since it was redecorated,” Yu Hua said to You Zhengping before walking through the door. “It’s small, but it has everything it needs, and it has the look of a proper office.”

As soon as he opened the door, he heard a crash-bang. All the office’s partitions came crashing down in front of Yu Hua. Yuan Luori, covered in dust, lay on top of the partitions, groping around on the floor with both hands. “My glasses, my glasses…”

If he only put on his glasses, he could suppress his special ability and not have to look at Yu Hua’s energy field anymore.

The parrot’s vision was even darker. It fell stiffly beside Yuan Luori, not daring to move a muscle. After all, birds didn’t operate well at night; they didn’t dare to change positions lightly at night.

Yu Hua had wanted to take You Zhengping to see his work environment. But the moment they walked through the door, half of the office had collapsed. His smile immediately broke down. Darkly, he said to Yuan Luori, “Is this how you do the cleaning?”

“No, I didn’t, it wasn’t me!” Yuan Luori didn’t dare to keep looking for his glasses. He hastily denied responsibility three times over.

All he could see was black, and his hearing wasn’t especially good, either. He couldn’t tell where Yu Hua was. He could only bow and scrape in the general direction of the wall. “It was Feng Kui who crushed the partitions yesterday. Huan Zixu said, first let’s use superglue to stick them in place, then when Yu Hua gets here tomorrow, find a way to blame it on him. We can criticize him for using cheap building materials, too. Two birds with one stone.”

Watching Yuan Luori sell out his teammate without any hesitation, You Zhengping inadvertently remembered how he had looked at the base when he had been ready to stand on the table and crow.

Such were the summits and troughs of human life.

You Zhengping couldn’t stand it. He picked up the glasses by Yuan Luori’s feet and put them into his hand.

“Thank you.” Yuan Luori didn’t know who had helped him. He quickly put on the glasses, looked up, and saw You Zhengping’s young face. He involuntarily backed up a few steps.

He still remembered that this was Yu Hua’s husband. The first time he had seen him, Yuan Luori had shot You Zhengping in the chest with a crossbow.

Yuan Luori took two steps back and plopped right onto the floor. His face was pale. Shaking, he asked, “An-and who might you be?”

“My husband.” Yu Hua took the opportunity to put an arm around You Zhengping’s waist. “The person I have decided to be with in this world and any other.”

You Zhengping wanted to laugh but held himself back. Yu Hua must have been wanting to say this for a pretty long time.

Yuan Luori didn’t display the envious and respectful expression that Yu Hua had imagined. Instead, hugging the parrot, he curled up in a corner and quietly said, “Hello.”

The scene was extremely awkward for a time. Just then, Zhen Li happily walked into the studio, carrying breakfast. “Yuan Luori, I bought you breakfast, don’t keep eating expired instant noodles, we’re both going to have bonuses soon!”

You Zhengping had used the handsome uncle face to interact with Zhen Li many times. He had long passed the stage of being the young auxiliary policeman who would be jealous of Director Yu and President Zhen’s interactions. He greeted Zhen Li naturally: “Hey, Chief Zhen, do you still remember me? Officer Xiao You.”

Clatter! Zhen Li’s breakfast fell to the floor. Soy milk spilled all over. Some drops even splashed on Yu Hua’s leather shoes.

Zhen Li leapt to the corner with a swoosh. With one hand, he grabbed Yuan Luori. With the other, he covered his face. Fearfully, he said, “I have a private arrangement with our studio’s janitor. I like young, skinny, near-sighted and astigmatic employees. I’m not interested in someone as old as Director Yu.”

Neglected senior citizen Director Yu: “…”

Yu Hua, his face ashen, pointed at the soy milk on the floor with the tip of his foot. “Clean it up now.”

“Yes, yes!” Yuan Luori quickly pushed Zhen Li away, diligently picked up a cleaning rag, and went to Yu Hua’s feet, ready to wipe his shoes for him.

“Not that,” Yu Hua said, grinding his teeth.

Yuan Luori was thunderstruck. Could the great master be so angry that he wanted him to lick his shoes clean? While he worshipped the great master, this was too…

Fortunately, You Zhengping figured out what Yuan Luori was intending in time and held him back. “Yu Hua means clean the floor.”

“Ooh!” Yuan Luori’s forehead was covered in sweat. He quickly ran into the bathroom for the mop.

While no one was paying attention to him, Zhen Li shuffled towards the door a step at a time with his back to You Zhengping. Zhen Li didn’t dare to skip work. He was only going out to buy a face mask. He would feel safer if he put one on.

He had just shuffled his way to the wide open door when he bumped into Lian Yufan. Zhen Li was unsteady on his feet and fell backwards. Lian Yufan caught him in time.

“Director Lian,” You Zhengping called to Lian Yufan.

Hearing You Zhengping’s voice, Zhen Li was so scared he didn’t dare to turn his head, petrified that his face would cause trouble. He seized the opportunity to bury his head against Lian Yufan’s chest.

You Zhengping: “…”

Lian Yufan pushed away Zhen Li, who was sticking to him like gummy candy, while looking at the floor and the fallen partitions. He said, “What happened here?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Yuan Luori charged out of the bathroom, energetically twirling the mop, making scrawling figures towards the soy milk.

Just then, Huan Zixu’s dissatisfied voice came from the hall: “You don’t have to carry me up the stairs every time. I’m not that weak.”

When the two of them arrived at the door, they saw Zhen Li with his head buried against Lian Yufan’s chest. Huan Zixu yawned and said, “Why are you hugging in the middle of the doorway? Move over, don’t block people’s way.”

Before he could squeeze into the office, he heard Yu Hua’s grim voice: “Huan Zixu, who was planning to make me take the blame for wrecking the partitions?”

When he heard this voice, Huan Zixu’s face stiffened. He wondered inwardly who had sold him out. But he casually said, “Fundamentally, it happened because the quality was too poor. Don’t think of deducting Feng Kui’s wages.”

The two of them walked into the office. Lian Yufan had finally succeeded in prying Zhen Li off of himself. He asked, “What’s going on with you today? Why do you keep covering your face? Are you having an allergic reaction or something?”

When he heard this, Zhen Li had a flash of inspiration. He quickly took a lipliner out of his pocket and drew red dots all over his face. He nodded to Lian Yufan. “Yes, an allergic reaction.”

Lian Yufan: “…”

Just then, Huan Zixu saw You Zhengping and also stared blankly. When he had wanted to kidnap Yu Hua at first, he had briefly met You Zhengping. But he remembered that he had used “false exchange” to change You Zhengping’s “impression” twice, so he casually said, “My name is Huan Zixu. I’m the studio’s marketing director. This is Feng Kui, our security director. Could I ask who you are?”

“You Zhengping, Yu Hua’s husband.” You Zhengping somewhat awkwardly shook hands with Huan Zixu. “I have the day off work, so I’ve come for a visit. Sorry, I’m getting in the way of your work.”

“Oh, Director Yu’s husband.” Huan Zixu looked at You Zhengping, wondering whether there was a way to use him to get more money out of Yu Hua.

Feng Kui only smiled straightforwardly at You Zhengping. He still remembered how the two of them had looked in the escape room when they had refused to be parted no matter what. He was a little envious. His attitude towards You Zhengping was very friendly.

Yuan Luori dried the floor and finally relaxed. He stood with Zhen Li, who had succeeded in “disfiguring” himself, doing his best to pretend not to exist.

“There’s really nothing worth seeing in this crappy place,” Lian Yufan said towards the messy office. “How about I don’t take the 30% bonus and put it towards redecorating the office. You see, it’s such a mess here, Officer You doesn’t even have a place to sit.”

Lian Yufan didn’t care about the bonus. He wanted to take this opportunity to improve his working environment. It was hard work being an undercover agent. Lian Yufan had been prepared for that; he had submitted in silence to Yu Hua’s oppression. But if he could make his undercover work a little more comfortable, Lian Yufan was willing to pay for it.

“Of course we can’t use your money.” Hearing that Lian Yufan wanted to use money that had originally belonged to him to do repairs, Huan Zixu instantly got in his way. “If you’re not short on money, you can give it to me. The office has to be repaired with office funds. Director Yu has made so many deductions to our salaries. He ought to pay for repairs out of that money.”

Yu Hua, who had been ashen-faced the whole time, said to Huan Zixu, “You’re right. So we’ll move right now. This is simply no place for people to exist, and a roomful of formaldehyde is unhealthy. Come on, Xiao You, I’ll take you to the new office.”

Everyone: “…”

Wait, could you explain? We’ve existed in this office for months, but now that You Zhengping is here, it’s no place for people to exist?

Author’s Note
Before You Zhengping comes to visit the office—

Yu Hua: The company is poor. Who cares about formaldehyde and working conditions. Everyone can put up with it.

After You Zhengping comes to visit the office—

Yu Hua: This crappy place is simply no place for people to exist. We’re moving!

Everyone: So none of us count as people?