Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 25

When the picture had been taken, Yu Hua quickly went up and took back the camera. His movements were so quick they could practically have been called “snatching,” as though he were afraid that the passing handsome uncle wouldn’t return the camera.

The reason Yu Hua was being so cautious was in fact that he knew that the person in front of him had stolen away his treasured phone remnants. The phone was his sorrow. He really couldn’t trust the handsome uncle.

Lian Yufan: “…”

He nodded awkwardly to You Zhengping, then turned and left.

When the handsome uncle Lian Yufan had left, Yu Hua took an alcohol disinfecting wipe from the side of the basket and carefully wiped the camera.

You Zhengping, said, “…I didn’t know you had mysophobia.”

“I don’t have mysophobia,” Yu Hua said.

He was just disinfecting.

When he was finished, he saw You Zhengping staring at him. Yu Hua threw the wipe in a trash can and went over to squeeze You Zhengping’s hand. He glanced around, saw there weren’t many people taking notice of them, then slightly lowered his head to kiss his husband’s forehead. Then he said, “I really don’t have mysophobia.”

You Zhengping touched his stealth-attacked forehead and nodded happily.

Yu Hua took out a few individually wrapped disinfecting wipe and stuffed them in You Zhengping’s pocket. He said, “Take some, too. You can wipe your hands if you touch a stranger.”

You Zhengping: “…”

Yu Hua wasn’t normally so fastidious. What was going on today? Was it because he thought the amusement park was too old and too dirty?

All right, so it was kind of old.

The two of them talked and laugh. It was nice to retrace memory in this old amusement park, so never mind about the attractions. Yu Hua and You Zhengping, of course, weren’t afraid of the roller coaster on the point of collapse or the unsafe drop tower, but the average person would have been afraid of them. As “ordinary people,” they wouldn’t try them out.

The “elderly man” Yuan Luori, holding his birdcage, caught sight of handsome Uncle Lian; his gaze moved from the melancholy husbands to Lian Yufan. He thoughtfully observed the limbs of several “staff members” and “visitors.” The parrot in the cage said, “Sturdy! Sturdy!”

“That’s right, sturdy and strong limbs, nimble movements, quick reaction speed,” Yuan Luori said quietly to the parrot.

He opened the birdcage. The parrot spread its wings and soared, spinning a dozen meters up in the air.

Yuan Luori closed his eyes and silently counted: “One, two, three…”

The “elderly lady” Zhen Li, slouching, came over to Yuan Luori. He was just about to pat his back when Yuan Luori alertly grabbed his hand. Yuan Luori’s eyes were still tightly closed, but Zhen Li had the feeling that he was being spied on from above.

Yuan Luori’s birdcage was the foundation item he had chosen in his first world. It was unlike Zhen Li’s wardrobe, which was entirely for the sake of beauty. The vision of the animal inside the birdcage was linked to Yuan Luori’s.

Whether it was a parrot or a swallow, a sparrow or a finch, or even a rat, butterfly, dragonfly, grasshopper… If Yuan Luori put it in the birdcage, his field of vision would widen greatly. He would be able to observe the surroundings from different points of view, his field of vision far surpassing that of a human. This was a secret attack-type leveler’s best item.

Yu Hua had already guessed that Yuan Luori’s vision was linked to the parrot’s, but what Yuan Luori hadn’t demonstrated yet was that after each ten levels he passed, he could add another animal to his birdcage. After passing thirty-seven levels, Yuan Luori could link his vision to that of three animals.

Closing his eyes meant that Yuan Luori could better link his vision to the parrot’s. He tapped lightly with his toe, and a scurrying rat was sent hurrying into the birdcage that had been placed on the ground. At the same time, he let go of Zhen Li’s hand and used to fingers to grab a bee that had just been about to sting Zhen Li.

Even though Zhen Li was made up as an “elderly lady,” he still had to be the best-dressed person at the amusement park. He was wearing an expensive floral-patterned dress that naturally attracted bees and butterflies.

Yuan Luori put the bee in the cage, too. All three animals were ready.

All the water in the amusement park had dried away. If there had been any, Yuan Luori would have chosen a fish for his third animal. That way, he would have commanded land, sea, and air.

He took care of the rat and the bee as quickly as possible, opened the cage, and let the two animals out.

Though Yuan Luori had his eyes closed, he could now overlook the entire amusement park, observing more closely than 360 degree surveillance with no blindspots.

He set aside Yu Hua and You Zhengping, focusing on observing the others. He realized that apart from the melancholy husbands, there wasn’t a single ordinary person in the amusement park.

“Ha, they’ve really prepared to the fullest.” Too bad they had run into him.

What he, Yuan Luori, feared least was a crowd.

An assassin could most easily deploy his powers when mixed into a crowd.

Yuan Luori took a bubble machine out of his backpack. He had prepared it last night. Inside was a poison he had adjusted. He pressed the button to blow bubbles, and countless clear bubbles spurted out, reflecting rainbows in the sunlight. Yuan Luori, surrounded by bubbles, had the feeling of being in a dream.

The bubbles spread extremely fast throughout every corner of the amusement park. These bubbles had been specially modified by Yuan Luori and wouldn’t burst easily, and the bubble machine had been equipped from the System, so they flew much faster than they would have from an ordinary bubble machine.

“What are you doing?” Zhen Li said in surprise. “If you release poison in such a wide area, it’ll harm ordinary people.”

“This amusement park has already been cleared of ordinary people.” Yuan Luori got out a white cloth and blindfolded his eyes to avoid his line of sight coinciding with the sight lines of the three animals, making it hard to distinguish the images.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to kill Yu Hua, make the Protection Organization think he was the leveler? You’re going to expose your identity if you release poisoned bubbles without restraint like this.” Zhen Li strove to change Yuan Luori’s mind.

Zhen Li hadn’t gone through many levels. He hadn’t yet been infected with the levelers’ bad habit of seeing human lives as trash. He valued life and didn’t want to hurt others, whether they were ordinary people or the handsome uncle Protector who had beaten him up quite a few times.

“I’ll leave a survivor. Let’s say Yu Hua’s husband.” Yuan Luori smiled ruthlessly. “If I impart him with certain ideas, then, when he survives, he’ll lead the Protection Organization according to my intentions.”

Lian Yufan and Cen Xiao were separated into two teams. Lian Yufan’s people were watching Yu Hua, while Cen Xiao was keeping an eye on Yuan Luori. The three-sided spy Zhen Li had already told the Protectors how Yuan Luori would be disguised, so Cen Xiao and the other underlings had fixed on him from the start.

All the same, the inexperienced young Protectors couldn’t imagine the might of the System’s items. It took three seconds for Cen Xiao to guess that these weren’t ordinary bubbles. But in those three seconds, the bubbles had already floated to every corner of the amusement park.

“Everyone take note, those aren’t ordinary bubbles! They may be explosive or poisoned! Cover your mouths and noses, protect your skin, stay away from the bubbles as much as possible!” Seeing the bubbles propagating practically at the speed of sound, Cen Xiao no longer cared about exposing his identity; he shouted into the walkie-talkie.

Apart from You Zhengping and Yu Hua, everyone instantly heard Cen Xiao’s warning.

But it was already too late. Everyone was surrounded by bubbles. There was no escape.

The melancholy husbands were also surrounded by bubbles. Both of them knew that the bubbles were dangerous, but neither could reveal himself in front of the other.

“So even an old amusement park like this would release bubbles. How pretty,” You Zhengping said, smiling.

“Yes, very romantic.” Yu Hua used his whole lifetime’s supply of acting skills to control his facial muscles, doing his best to put on a romantic expression, but inside he was quickly analyzing the toxicity of the bubbles.

According to his many years of experience with the System’s items, the larger a range a weapon had, the less powerful it would be. The toxicity of a weapon that could disperse itself quickly throughout the amusement park would definitely be diluted to a thousandth of its effectiveness. It could only cause unconsciousness. And the attack range of each bubble would be very small!

The most important thing was, from Yu Hua’s analysis of Yuan Luori during the past few days, he had been spoiled by excessively easy levels. He had a childish sort of idea that he was the whole world; he thought he was a master strategist, but in reality his plans were full of holes.

All Yuan Luori had in mind was that Yu Hua and You Zhengping were ordinary people, that Yu Hua knew his and Zhen Li’s identity and therefore had to die, that the Protectors on the scene who saw him act would also have to die, and that he would leave behind only You Zhengping, who knew nothing of the truth. So Yuan Luori’s first attack was to make the Protectors lose the power to resist, leaving behind the melancholy husbands. Then he would use some item or ability to control Yu Hua to leave You Zhengping with the impression that his husband had super powers.

So in the first attack, neither of them would be harmed. And Yu Hua wasn’t going to let You Zhengping be harmed!

He laughed quietly and said, “Very romantic, and there’s no one around, we…”

Then he covered his husband’s eyes and dropped a quick and domineering kiss on him. As long as You Zhengping couldn’t see, then as soon as the bubbles exploded, Yu Hua could arrange an energy barrier to protect You Zhengping.

You Zhengping was dying from anxiety. He couldn’t have his eye covered. If he couldn’t see what was happening around them, how was he going to protect Yu Hua?

You Zhengping braced himself and reached out his hands to cover Yu Hua’s eyes, too, kissing and embracing his husband. At the same time, mind tensed quickly, his senses expanding to their limit. As soon as the bubbles next to Yu Hua exploded, he would immediately open a space to protect him.

“You think covering your skin is enough? Your eyes are still open! Bang!” Yuan Luori said, turning the corners of his mouth up in a smile.

Apart from those around the melancholy husbands, all the bubbles surrounding the other people exploded, blossoming into one gorgeous rainbow flower after another.

The Protectors had shielded their skin in time, but the exploding foam still splashed in their eyes. They fainted one after another.

“Crap!” Cen Xiao dodged left and right, but at last there was a bubble in his blindspot that he didn’t dodge.

The moment the bubble exploded, someone opened his mouth and bit down to the back and left of Cen Xiao, swallowing the bubble.

“You…” Cen Xiao turned and saw Zhen Li, his wig and wrinkles gone, wearing a fashion floral-patterned dress.

Zhen Li had no time to talk to him. He quickly ran a couple steps and ate a bubble at Cen Xiao’s left side.

Zhen Li only had the alternate dimension stomach left. He would save whoever he could.

Cen Xiao touched the nanotech mask he was wearing. This face was completely unfamiliar; Zhen Li couldn’t have recognized him.

“Aren’t you with the Destroyer? Why are you helping me?” Cen Xiao said.

“I’m a peace-loving Destroyer. I’m not like him.” Zhen Li ate bubbles as busily as a gluttonous snake. His foot twisted in its low-heeled shoe, and Cen Xiao reached out to help him keep his balance.

Zhen Li had already eaten just about all the bubbles around the two of them. Yuan Luori glared viciously at Zhen Li. “Traitor! Just wait until I take care of you!”

Then the blindfolded elderly man ran off wildly towards the melancholy husbands. Zhen Li saw that events were going badly. You Zhengping was an ordinary person!

He kicked the low-heeled shoes off his feet and ran off barefoot after Yuan Luori.

“Crap! Yu Hua is an ordinary person!” After staring blankly for a moment, Cen Xiao also chased after Zhen Li.

Zhen Li ate the bubbles up ahead, clearing the way for Cen Xiao. Cen Xiao made easy progress.

Two or three meters away from the melancholy husbands, Yuan Luori was blocked by Lian Yufan. He raised his brows in astonishment. There was someone who hadn’t been poisoned.

Lian Yufan had about a dozen intact bubbles in his hands. In the instant the bubbles around him had popped, he had quickly repaired them, avoiding getting hit anywhere important. Neither his skin nor his eyes had touched the poison.

“Take these back!” When Lian Yufan saw Yuan Luori, he tossed over all the bubbles in his hands.

Of course Yuan Luori wasn’t afraid of the poison bubbles he had released himself. He didn’t dodge, letting the bubbles exploded against his face. But the bubbles concealed countless shards of glass inside them, which stabbed Yuan Luori’s skin as the water droplets flew.

He had the false skin of an elderly man stuck to his face, but quite a lot of bits of broken glass still stabbed his exposed skin. If his eyes hadn’t been blindfolded, he would have lost them.

When he had restored the bubbles, Lian Yufan had concealed some bits of glass he’d been hiding in his palm inside them. This was his special means of attack.

When he had tossed the bubbles, Lian Yufan hadn’t stopped moving. He had charged right towards Yuan Luori. His hand brushed some glass bits off Yuan Luori’s face, then changed into a fist, as if yanking something.

Yuan Luori, his face covered in glass, hissed from the pain. And before he could equip an item to use to attack Lian Yufan, from not far off, countless sharp pieces of mirror flew quickly towards Yuan Luori’s face.

These mirrors came from the amusements park’s house of mirrors. The house of mirrors was already abandoned. Because of the nature of his special ability, Lian Yufan took careful notice of damaged objects. He had come to the amusement park at three o’clock this morning to prepare. He had taken bits of glass from the broken mirrors. This was for the sake of attacking the enemy!

Seven or eight huge mirrors smashed into Yuan Luori’s face. He fell down. Lian Yufan sneered. “Destroyer, don’t underestimate us Protectors!”

Just then, Zhen Li ran over and saw that Yuan Luori had fallen with his face all bloody. He quickly said, “Protector captain, that might not be him!”

Lian Yufan crouched down to investigate. As soon as he touched Yuan Luori, his body deflated like a balloon, turning into a flat, empty skin.

“This is ‘the cicada escapes by shedding its skin,’ an item worth a lot of points!” Zhen Li said. “He’s not here anymore.”

“What side are you actually on?” Lian Yufan said warily, unable to completely trust Zhen Li.

“For the moment I think he’s on ours,” Cen Xiao said, hurrying over. “I checked on the way, and apart from us, everyone else is unconscious. We’ve underestimated the Destroyers this time.”

The three of them didn’t say anything extraneous after meeting up. They quickly exchanged information, then headed towards Yu Hua and You Zhengping.

But it was already too late.

The distance was only two to three meters. After using “the cicada escapes by shedding its skin,” Yuan Luori appeared over the embracing lovers’ heads. He stood firmly in midair on an enormous bubble and pressed down with his palms. A double-sided mirror appeared between the couple, separating them. The moment the double-sided mirror hit the ground, the hundreds of bubbles surrounding the two of them popped simultaneously.

The two people who had just been kissing opened their eyes. The bubbles splashed into their eyes, and they nearly fainted. As they wavered, a human figure appeared vaguely in front of them. The average person would have been half unconscious at this moment and would only have seen a blurry outline, but the two of them could see clearly. Each saw his husband, who had just been in intimate contact with him, holding a crossbow and shooting an arrow at him. This was an illusion caused by the double-sided mirror.

“I shouldn’t be able to see now, so I have to get shot!” the two of them thought at the same time. “Otherwise I’ll reveal my identity. Yuan Luori will definitely leave a survivor. Since I’m the one he wants to kill, then Yu Hua/You Zhengping won’t be attacked!”

Yu Hua instantly decided to pulverize the arrowhead with his massive internal energy at the moment the crossbow bolt entered his body. This might make him release another 1% of his power, but that didn’t matter. Yuan Luori’s System seemed very strong; it should have enough sealing power.

You Zhengping instantly decided to open a space in front of his chest, hide half of the crossbow bolt in the space, and cut open some of his skin, to make it look as though he’d been shot.

When Cen Xiao and the others hurried over, the two of them were shot at the same time, flying backwards.

Cen Xiao and Lian Yufan caught You Zhengping and quickly dragged him behind the nearby drop tower. They were his teammates. In an emergency, they had chosen to support their teammate.

Zhen Li dragged Yu Hua to the other side of the drop tower. He knew Yu Hua wouldn’t be injured. Right now, he had to help the great master cover up!

Yuan Luori saw that the two of them had been separately taken away and didn’t know whether they were dead or alive. He snapped his fingers lightly, and countless arrows flew out of the air.

Cen Xiao waved his hand, and a curtain of fire appeared in the sky, burning the arrows and blocking the view of Yuan Luori’s three sight lines. All animals fear fire.

Beneath the curtain of fire, You Zhengping opened his eyes and silently mouthed, Where’s Yu Hua?

Lian Yufan looked towards the other side of the drop tower, his expression troubled.

You Zhengping’s rage instantly mounted to his heart. He ripped the nanotech mask from Lian Yufan’s face, put the handsome uncle mask on his own face, and was about to charge towards Yuan Luori up in the air.

Lian Yufan thought, He doesn’t even know to change clothes.

He and You Zhengping were wearing about the same pants and shoes today, but their shirts were different. Lian Yufan grabbed his shirt and You Zhengping’s shirt with one hand each and tore off a piece of each. He quickly stuck the piece of his clothing onto You Zhengping’s waist.

Lian Yufan put his special ability to use, restoring the pieces to the shirts. With the use of the special ability, one black t-shirt and one white t-shirt swapped places at the moment that You Zhengping flew out from behind the screen of the fire curtain.

At that moment, You Zhengping became the handsome uncle protector.

Lian Yufan, wearing You Zhengping’s white t-shirt, covered his chest and dropped to the ground, pretending to be the half-dead You Zhengping.

You Zhengping opened countless miniature spaces invisible to the naked eye in the air. Stepping on the small spaces, he came up in front of Yuan Luori. He glanced down out the corner of his eye and saw Yu Hua lying at Zhen Li’s feet, not moving at all. Yu Hua had fallen in a pool of blood. You Zhengping couldn’t tell whether he was dead or alive.

An invisible space opened in front of Yuan Luori. Inside was an electric current You Zhengping had stored.

You Zhengping’s spaces could not only protect people and imprison them, they could also collect natural forces.

Irrepressible rage came through the mask’s voice-changing device. “You have a death wish!”

Author’s Note
Yuan Luori: Whichever one of you husbands lives, you’ll be my mouthpiece, hahaha!

The melancholy husbands (seeing their partner wounded): You’re dead meat!