Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 3

You Zhengping flew at top speed to the restroom to gather his underlings. The underlings curiously asked, “Well, did you scare your blind date?”

“Shut up!” You Zhengping smacked the back of the head of the underling who had spoken. “Hurry up and find me some normal clothes, and the hair, my heavens, what am going to do about the multi-colored hair!”

The underlings were stunned by their fickle boss. A second ago, he’d wanted to ruin the blind date. The next second, he was ready to grow old with his blind date. Their boss’s temper was like summer rain; it could come at any time.

Cen Xiao glanced at the restroom’s faucets and shot Shi Yongfu a swift look. Shi Yongfu swiftly barricaded the restroom door, not letting anyone come in from outside.

“Boss, control your temper,” Cen Xiao said, pointing at the heat-sensitive faucets. Water was trickling from all the faucets.

You Zhengping quickly calmed himself, not letting his special abilities influence the things around him.

Among the Protectors, he was the one with the strongest special ability, and also the hardest time controlling his abilities. To stabilize his emotions and control his abilities, when his closed-door training ended, You Zhengping would participate in contests in all kinds of extreme sports. He needed to experience all kinds of extreme emotions and control his special ability during the contests.

You Zhengping had experienced the despair of near death, the fear of the unknown, the anxiety of his teammates facing danger, and other glad and sorrowful extreme emotions. To control himself, he had tried experiencing all emotions once. His parents only saw him doing extreme sports; they didn’t know that You Zhengping had once spent over a month alone in a pitch-black building.

He was well aware that he was a double-edged sword. In order to fully grasp the blade, he had to endure all hardships.

He had already succeeded, but it turned out that a blind date had sent all his efforts down the drain.

He had experienced all kinds of emotions, but he hadn’t fallen in love.

The crowd of underlings quickly jumped out of the restroom window to find clothes. They were well-trained and robust; within five minutes, they all left and returned, bringing a suit, tie, and leather shoes for You Zhengping.

“There’s really nothing to do about the hair,” Shi Yongfu said. “Why don’t you use a wig to deal with it? I found a wig that that looks a lot like your hairstyle before.”

With all their efforts, they finally stabilized You Zhengping’s emotions, and the faucets stopped running on their own.

Cen Xiao opened the restroom door and gave You Zhengping a thumbs up. “Go and get him, boss! You can do it!”

You Zhengping felt that the suit he was wearing had turned into armor. He nodded at his underlings, fixed his tie and wig, and walked out with an expression that looked like he was going to conquer the whole universe.

As soon as he’d left the restroom, the underlings collapsed to the floor in fear. Their boss being in love had the sense of crisis of a world war.

You Zhengping looked at his watch. He’d told Yu Hua five minutes, but it had been fifteen. He didn’t know whether Yu Hua had gotten impatient and left.

He took a deep breath and opened the private room’s door. He saw that Yu Hua had taken off his suit jacket. He was wearing a dark gray shirt. His strong-jointed hand held a teapot with a classical air; he was pouring tea into two cups.

When he had poured the tea, Yu Hua put down the teapot and turned his head to You Zhengping, who was standing by the door. He didn’t ask what he had been doing going out for so long, didn’t pay attention to his attire being completely different from before. He stood up and smiled amidst the fragrance of the tea. “You’re back.”

At this moment, You Zhengping heard the enormous sound of his heart leaping into his throat.

Thump, thump.

He blankly followed Yu Hua to his seat. Yu Hua passed him the menu and said, “I don’t know what you like to eat. I only ordered some cold dishes and pastries. I was waiting for you to come back to order the main courses.

You Zhengping couldn’t see what was written on the menu at all. He ordered some dishes at random.

While they waited for the food, the two of them drank tea and chatted.

“I originally came to refuse this blind date today,” Yu Hua said frankly.

You Zhengping covered his heart, secretly telling himself, Control! I have to control myself. If my special ability erupts, Yu Hua will be hurt!

Probably because his desire to protect Yu Hua got the upper hand, You Zhengping managed to hold back, patiently listening to Yu Hua narrate why he had come on the blind date.

Yu Hua was twenty-three, two years older than You Zhengping. He had worked at his company for just a year. Being put on regular payroll after his trial period, he had become an assistant in the company’s human resources department. Yesterday, the company’s president had suddenly gathered up all the men under twenty five, then sent away the average-looking ones, leaving a few good-looking ones.

The president had said that there was a sizable investment that they might be able to get; it would depend on these young men.

In the president’s description, the head of an exceedingly wealthy investment company (meaning You Zhengping’s father’s old comrade-in-arms) had a bad-tempered and quarrelsome junior in his family, male, currently looking for an outstanding partner. Their company was fighting to win an investment. Though this business couldn’t necessarily influence the investment company head’s ideas, it was still an opportunity for a closer relationship.

The young employees who had just stepped into society hadn’t thought that they would have to peddle sex appeal. One after another, they expressed that their sexual orientation was wrong and they weren’t up to the task. The president could do nothing but employ the oldest and most primitive method—drawing lots.

Yu Hua drew the lucky number. After looking at his academic record and photograph, the other party was very satisfied with Yu Hua. The president said that he had to perform well. Only the other side could refuse; he wasn’t in a position to gracefully decline.

Of course Yu Hua wasn’t going to bow his head before the force of capital, and he also wasn’t going to stand his blind date up. He had come this once to explain his reasoning.

“Oh…” You Zhengping’s heart rate calmed. He looked at Yu Hua, his face grief-stricken.

At first, this would have been a good thing. Both sides had been forced on the blind date; both had come intending to refuse. They could have met, sat down, had a nice discussion, then told their elders and bosses that the other party hadn’t liked him. Perfect satisfaction for both sides.

But…

You Zhengping stared at the teacup in his hand, saw the tea freezing over, and quickly took a deep breath, telling himself he had to calm down, calm down!

In a gentle voice, Yu Hua said, “I’m an unambitious person. My plan for the future is to live a peaceful life. I’ve never dated. I don’t know how to be in a relationship.

“My emotional plan was to meet a person in the conventional way, someone who, like me, yearned for a comfortable household. It didn’t matter whether they were a man or a woman. After dating for a while, we would set up a household before turning thirty. We might pass our time in trivialities, spend the rest of our lives dealing with trifles. Perhaps we would have some squabbles, but that’s life.

“After wrangling for half a lifetime, when we’d grown old, my spouse and I could be at peace with what had happened when we were young and go hand in hand towards old age.”

The peaceful life he described was too beautiful. It eased You Zhengping’s feelings a great deal.

You Zhengping didn’t dare to look directly into Yu Hua’s eyes. He looked down at the tea with pieces of ice floating on it, thinking that he couldn’t give Yu Hua this kind of future.

Disappointed in love, You Zhengping drank tea to cover up his uncontrollable expression, draining the cup of iced tea dry as though it were beer.

“Perfect. My family forced me to go on this blind date. I still want to play around for a few years.” You Zhengping threw the teacup onto the table, his expression firm. He was a strong person. He wouldn’t be knocked down by this trifle!

The underlings eavesdropping from the neighboring private room were dying from anxiety. They were really afraid that You Zhengping would explode after being disappointed in love.

Shi Yongfu silently mouthed, Should we report it to our superiors, start making an emergency contingency plan?

Cen Xiao’s ear was plastered to the wall. He shook his head at everyone: Wait, things may take a turn for the better.

After throwing the teacup onto the table, You Zhengping got up and prepared to leave. He had to leave the private room as fast as possible and drive somewhere with no people to prevent his special ability from going out of control.

“Wait!” Yu Hua hastily tugged You Zhengping’s hand, earnestly saying, “Hear out the rest of what I have to say, all right?”

What else was there to say? You Zhengping pulled off his wig in grief and indignation and faced Yu Hua with his stringy, multi-colored hair.

Yu Hua exercised a great deal of strength to resist laughing. His control over his emotions was first rate. Crossing worlds, his expression remained unchanged no matter how many dangers he encountered. But after seeing You Zhengping, he had nearly lost control twice.

Heaven knew how long he had laughed with no thought for appearances when he’d turned the corner after leaving the off-road car.

Having managed to stop laughing, he’d been considering what excuses to use to turn the other party down when You Zhengping had walked in blowing a bubble with his gum. Seeing his rainbow-colored hair, Yu Hua had nearly burst into laughter again.

Fortunately, You Zhengping had charged out of the private room, giving Yu Hua fifteen minutes to laugh in secret.

When You Zhengping had thought he was seeing Yu Hua elegantly pouring tea, in reality, Yu Hua, who had laughed until his abdominal muscles ached, had been pouring the tea to cover up his inappropriate burst of laughter.

“The foregoing was only my idealism.” Yu Hua picked up the wig, not daring to put his gaze on You Zhengping’s stringy rainbow-colored head. Staring at the wig, he said, “When you walked into the room just now, I realized how childish my ideas were.”

“Hm?” With a cautious look full of expectation, You Zhengping looked at Yu Hua…’s head. Yu Hua had his head down and was staring at the wig; he couldn’t see his eyes!

“The peaceful life I imagined was black and white,” Yu Hua said warmly towards the wig. “I have a premonition that if I miss my chance with you, I’ll lose my only opportunity for a life full of color.”

Whether bursting into laughter or feeling tender affection, there was one thing Yu Hua had to admit: he had fallen for You Zhengping.

At the moment he’d met You Zhengping outside the window of the off-road car, he’d seen infinite liveliness and vigor in him. In that instant, he’d known that if he missed his chance with this person, his life really would be a pool of peaceful, stagnant water.

So Yu Hua had quietly memorized the car’s license plate number, planning to earnestly and politely turn down his blind date, then use the license plate number to find those eyes full of liveliness.

But life was full of drama. A few minutes later, in the private room arranged for the blind date, he had seen those even brighter colors.

“Are you saying that you’re serious about dating me?” You Zhengping half-crouched, lifting his face, needing to looking right into Yu Hua’s eyes.

Yu Hua: “…”

He raised his head and used all his willpower to meet You Zhengping’s eyes. “Yes. I didn’t want our feelings to stem from being forced, so I wanted to explain all the details behind the blind date to you, then ask for your permission to pursue you.”

As he spoke, Yu Hua gently put the wig on You Zhengping’s head, then gave him an understanding smile.

This scene fixed itself in You Zhengping’s heart, becoming one of the most valuable images in his romance.

It also became Cen Xiao and the others’ nightmare.

For four years, four whole years, every time there was some new romantic development or trouble, You Zhengping would tell them all about it.

Now that Yu Hua had lost his job and their relationship had reached freezing point, You Zhengping couldn’t resist saying, “You don’t know how good he is to me.”

We do know, actually. You’ve said it hundreds of times. Cen Xiao and the other underlings exchanged looks and began to listen quietly to You Zhengping talking about Yu Hua’s righteous expression when he’d appeared outside the off-road car, his patient consideration as he’d waited in the private room for You Zhengping to change clothes, his soft smile when he’d raised his hand to put his wig on for him…

Next, You Zhengping finally said, “He must be so sad now. How can I help him?”

Cen Xiao rubbed his face. He was about to answer when suddenly an unfamiliar voice cut in: “He must be worried about the economic situation at home. Your annual salary really is too low.”

“Right, I…” You Zhengping’s expression instantly cooled. “Who are you?”

Cen Xiao and the others only then realized that a man wearing flashy and alluring clothes, just like a peacock, was standing among them, and they had no idea when this person had shown up.

“Me?” The person took off his sunglasses, revealing a pair of peach blossom eyes. He took an ID out of his pocket. “I came for a residence certificate. When I came in, I heard you talking about how your husband was giving you the cold shoulder.”

“Residence certificates are issued at the community center across the street,” You Zhengping said seriously.

“This isn’t the community center?” the peacock man said doubtfully.

“We’re the office of the emergency subdistrict office. We’re only allowed to help when the community center and the local police station are overwhelmed. The official seal is in the community center across the street. Go there to get your certificate issued.” You Zhengping’s answer was very official.

“Oh, I see. Sorry to bother you.” Before leaving, the peacock man threw a coquettish glance towards You Zhengping. “You have to make money to reduce the stress on your husband.”

“Yes, thank you for the suggestion.” You Zhengping stood and saw the peacock man out.

After the peacock man had left, You Zhengping said at once, “Check the surveillance cameras, see when he came in.”

Cen Xiao pulled up the surveillance playback and saw that the peacock man had been standing outside the door for about three minutes. During that time, You Zhengping had been narrating the history of his romance and the recent worries of married life. He hadn’t mentioned anything related to special abilities.

They’d been trained. Normally when they spoke about work, they were very careful. Even if they needed to mention their assignment, they would use code words for their special abilities; they definitely wouldn’t talk about them directly.

“Take the ledger to the community center,” You Zhengping ordered two underlings. “Investigate this person.”

“Is something wrong?” Cen Xiao asked.

“He was standing at the door for three minutes, and we didn’t notice him. Can he be an ordinary person?” You Zhengping said sternly. “You come with me to the public security bureau to investigate all his records.”

When the peacock man had taken out his ID just now, You Zhengping had memorized his ID number.

Everyone split up to act. You Zhengping and Cen Xiao were silent all the way to the public security bureau. Cen Xiao was thinking that while their boss was unreasonable in love, when it came to carrying out a mission, his abilities were first rate.

As they came to the public security bureau’s door, You Zhengping suddenly said, “Yu Hua has supported me all these years, so I’ve been secretly saving up my subsidy and bonuses. I have three or four million in savings. Do you think Yu Hua would believe it if I told him I’d won the lottery?”

Cen Xiao: “…”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “I think Yu Hua isn’t as…simple and easily fooled as you.”

“Oh, so I have to think of another way,” You Zhengping said with a sigh.

Author’s Note
Yu Hua: We levelers have received specialized training. No matter how funny something is, we won’t laugh. Unless we can’t resist!