Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 33

Lian Yufan’s thought process was simple. There were only two possibilities for Yu Hua’s identity. One was Destroyer. If he was a Destroyer, Yu Hua couldn’t really have fainted at the amusement park that day, and he would have noticed the pants the handsome uncle Protector was wearing; perhaps You Zhengping’s identity had already been exposed. If this were the case, in order to conceal his identity, even if he clearly saw Lian Yufan’s attempts, Yu Hua would still act as though nothing were the matter, pretending he was blind and didn’t see anything wrong with the pants.

The other possibility was that Yu Hua really was in fact innocent. Based on his investigation of Yu Hua, Lian Yufan had concluded that he was an extremely attentive person. He would already have noticed the receipt, and the fact that Lian Yufan’s pants were in fact You Zhengping’s. Under those circumstances, how could an ordinary person not get angry? How could he not make a scene? No man could hold out.

As for whether You Zhengping’s marriage would fracture from this probing or how You Zhengping should deal with this situation, that was outside the scope of Lian Yufan’s jurisdiction.

This was the sort of person Lian Yufan was. During actual combat exercises, in order to accomplish the mission, he could shoot the hostages or his teammates “dead.” He was rational to the utmost, and also unfeeling to the utmost. Even though he had been lectured by Director Xiao, he still couldn’t stand the sight of You Zhengping’s clingy behavior.

Lian Yufan thought that a Protector had to put everything at the back of his mind. Love? Marriage? Family?

Sorry, Protectors didn’t have a right to those.

Cen Xiao was sitting next to Lian Yufan. He raised his glass to liven up the atmosphere. “We didn’t have anything to do with each other before, but for all sorts of events, we’ve become connected. While the events themselves are a little awkward, it’s still a wonderful kind of fate. A toast to our fate!”

As he spoke, Cen Xiao’s other hand was under the table. He stuck out his index finger and fiercely poked Lian Yufan’s thigh.

Cen Xiao’s ability was fire. It was the most commonplace and also the strongest and most difficult to deal with power. Heat concentrated at his fingertip, burning Lian Yufan’s skin. The smell of burning flesh was covered up by the mixed smells of the food stalls.

“!!!” Lian Yufan used all his willpower to force down the pain of his leg being burned, and he also had to force himself to raise a glass and touch glasses with everyone else. His facial muscles began to twist.

Seeing him gulping down the beer, Cen Xiao relaxed his finger and took a lighter out of his pocket. He held it in his hand and absent-mindedly played with it.

Lian Yufan saw the lighter now lit, now extinguished, and understood Cen Xiao’s threat. He didn’t dare to mention the pants again. He put his head down and drank.

Yu Hua’s performance was flawless. While he had openly revealed that he was somewhat jealous, he hadn’t lost his temper in front of his new colleague. He had chosen a gentle and even sweet way to resolve this matter, displaying the intelligence and self-restraint of a grown-up person.

There was nothing for Lian Yufan to probe. Everyone drank together until after 11 PM. When the crowd at the night market was gradually thinning out, everyone had had enough to eat and drink and went home.

Yu Hua, who had been planning not to drink, had broken his rule, so there was no one to drive. Cen Xiao, Lian Yufan, and Zhen Li took a taxi home, while You Zhengping and Yu Hua called a substitute driver.

Because of Cen Xiao’s special ability, alcohol dispersed as soon as it entered his system. His alcohol tolerance was bottomless. He was the most sober person present. He first saw Zhen Li off home, then went with Lian Yufan to the new apartment he had rented.

Lian Yufan’s apartment wasn’t far from Cen Xiao’s house. The two of them got out of the taxi together.

When they got out, it was already midnight. Cen Xiao saw there were no people around and warned, “Stop harping on about it. You Zhengping found a husband to take care of him and attend to his needs, and that’s not easy. It’s a hard-earned blessing. You’re free to suspect Yu Hua, but please don’t test their relationship like this. Please choose some gentler and more subtle methods of observation.”

“A hard-earned blessing?” Lian Yufan’s hands were in his pockets. He looked at Cen Xiao quietly in the night. “You think people like us have any blessings to speak of? Or rather, insisting on choosing to marry, is that to satisfy your own demands, or can you actually give another person a real family? In the past, how many Protectors’ relatives have died violent deaths? Have you looked at the numbers?”

“…Yu Hua and You Zhengping are different.” Cen Xiao didn’t know how to refute Lian Yufan. Apart from You Zhengping, who had gotten married because he’d been forced on a blind date by his family, the rest of their squad had never even dated. It wasn’t because they didn’t have the buds of those sorts of feelings, it was because they didn’t dare.

Precisely because they didn’t dare themselves, they especially admired and envied You Zhengping’s courage and wanted to protect that love. Seeing the couple on good terms, seeing You Zhengping happily flinging dog food around every day, it was as though they were seeing their own future.

But Lian Yufan didn’t think like this. He coldly said, “What’s the difference? Do you really think I don’t know why he got married? You Zhengping can’t control his special ability. Yu Hua is merely his stabilizer. Do you really believe in that family member protection policy Director Xiao was talking about? Don’t joke! Director Xiao is afraid that Yu Hua will leave You Zhengping after learning about his identity, and You Zhengping’s special ability will be unstable again, and we’ll lose a powerful soldier!”

“Your way of thinking about these things is too extreme, too utilitarian,” Cen Xiao rebutted, frowning.

Lian Yufan shook his head. His views were different from Cen Xiao’s. Neither could convince the other. The two of them parted on bad terms.

Meanwhile, the melancholy husbands returned home with the help of the substitute driver. You Zhengping led the rather clingy Yu Hua through the door, then helped him change his shoes and clothes.

Yu Hua didn’t smoke and rarely drank. His alcohol tolerance was average. You Zhengping knew that his husband perhaps wasn’t drunk to the point of being unable to look after himself. It was only that he was tipsy and wanted to act childish, for once being unreasonable with the alcohol acting on his emotions.

It had always been Yu Hua taking care of You Zhengping to the point that he couldn’t look after himself. You Zhengping had rarely served others and wasn’t very practiced at it.

Fortunately, he was strong enough. He easily carried the tall and sturdy Yu Hua to bed over his shoulder. Showering wasn’t exactly possible. He could get a wet towel and wipe Yu Hua’s face.

You Zhengping arranged Yu Hua on the bed, got up, and was about to go into the bathroom when Yu Hua grabbed his wrist.

“Where are you going?” Yu Hua asked, eyes fixed on You Zhengping as though after he was going to run away.

“To get a wet towel. Look at you, your face is covered in sweat,” You Zhengping said. “You’ll be more comfortable sleeping when I’ve wiped your down.”

You Zhengping poured some water for Yu Hua to rinse his mouth with. Eyes fixed on him, Yu Hua obediently rinsed. His mouth felt a good deal fresher.

“Good.” Imitating how Yu Hua had taken care of him before, You Zhengping stroked his hair.

Yu Hua didn’t fuss anymore. He watched You Zhengping go into the bathroom.

When You Zhengping got there, he stared blankly at the towel rack.

Yu Hua did things in an orderly manner. The towels were divided into face towels, body towels, feet towels, and hair towels. Furthermore, You Zhengping and Yu Hua’s towels were separate. There were eight types of towel altogether in eight different colors, which each got washed and disinfected and hung up neatly on the towel rack. When You Zhengping got up to shower, Yu Hua would give him one or two towels and tell him which was for what, and You Zhengping could blindly follow the directions.

But today, Yu Hua was drunk for once, and You Zhengping looked in despair at the eight towels that he couldn’t tell apart. What now? Which one was for wiping your face? Which one was Yu Hua’s?

You Zhengping thought that if he mistakenly took one of the body or hair towels, that would be all right, but if he managed to take a foot towel, then when Yu Hua woke up in the morning and saw, wouldn’t he be angry enough to wash his face right off?

“Never mind, my chances are two out of eight, it’s not so bad.” You Zhengping pointed a finger at the towels and counted off: “Where I point is where I pick, and I pick you1!”

He picked the towel that the “you” fell on, quickly soaked it in warm water, and wrung it out. He went back to the bedroom with the towel and saw Yu Hua struggling with a needle over You Zhengping’s pajamas, which had been put at the head of the bed.

You Zhengping: “…”

While he had been picking a towel, Yu Hua had already embroidered the letters “YH” on his pajamas in ordinary cotton thread.

Yu Hua looked at the “YH” from the left and from the right and felt satisfied with it. He rubbed the letters with his fingers. He gazed at the letters with deep affection, as though looking at You Zhengping himself.

“Ah!” You Zhengping sighed lengthily, went over to Yu Hua holding the towel in both hands, and wiped his face for him.

You Zhengping’s movements weren’t very practiced and he used a little too much strength. Luckily Yu Hua was very well-behaved. He lifted his head and submitted to having his forehead, temples, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, carotid artery, and other important areas wiped. He exposed his softest parts to You Zhengping, calmly placing his life in his husband’s hands.

You Zhengping changed the water several times, roughly wiping Yu Hua’s chest, belly, limbs, limbs, and other vital places, at the same time helping Yu Hua change into his pajamas.

When he was finished with all of this, You Zhengping’s forehead was covered in sweat. He said to Yu Hua, “Go to sleep, I’ll go shower.”

“Okay.” Yu Hua nodded obediently.

Seeing how docile Yu Hua was being, You Zhengping’s heart suddenly felt soft. He was used to being taken care of by Yu Hua and enjoyed the feeling of his daily life being attended to. This time, his first time seeing Yu Hua somewhat weak and in need of someone to take care of him, You Zhengping felt glad.

You Zhengping often had a fearful feeling that he loved Yu Hua, needed Yu Hua, each and every bit of his life was occupied by Yu Hua, and away from Yu Hua, he might not even be able to pick up his own chopsticks. You Zhengping thought that in terms of strength he was rather powerful, but in mental terms, Yu Hua was far more orderly than he was.

Now that Yu Hua was as soft as a newborn kitten, constantly clinging to him, disrupting the regular pattern of their life, what he felt wasn’t irritation, but the happiness of being depended on.

You Zhengping showered quickly. When he came out, he saw that Yu Hua wasn’t asleep. He was hugging You Zhengping’s pajamas, not letting go.

“Why don’t you give those to me?” You Zhengping pulled without being able to snatch them.

“They’re mine.” Yu Hua stubbornly clutched at the clothes he had embroidered his name on.

You Zhengping thought about it, then took a set of clothes from the wardrobe, a plain t-shirt and long pants. He gave them to Yu Hua. “Let’s switch.”

Yu Hua did indeed put down the pajamas. He picked up a needle and started to embroider the new clothes. He wasn’t practiced at it and his technique was lacking. But luckily Yu Hua was earnest and careful, and “YH” wasn’t any sort of difficult design. Using ordinary cotton thread, he could embroider it quite neatly.

You Zhengping put on his pajamas and noticed that the places Yu Hua was embroidering were very circumspect. On the pants, he chose the inside of the leg and the inside of the waistband. On the shirt it was the underarm. All of them were places where you wouldn’t see it if you didn’t look closely.

Though he was drunk enough to be a little willful, Yu Hua was still rather reserved. He hadn’t embroidered the letters on the chest.

When he was finished embroidering, he touched the pant leg in satisfaction and smiled faintly.

You Zhengping saw Yu Hua’s movements and felt a little hesitant. He drew close, put his head on Yu Hua’s arm, and quietly closed his eyes.

Yu Hua naturally hugged You Zhengping and the clothes together and patted his husband’s shoulder. He quietly said, “Let’s sleep.”

But You Zhengping opened his eyes in the dark and confidently said, “While you were doing your general cleanup these past few days, you saw the receipt and the label, right?”

Both of them had gone through rigorous training and could see in the dark as clearly as though it were day. All the same, they had chosen to wait until the lights were off to speak openly. Night was like a natural protection that could hide countless secrets and breed endless courage.

“I saw.” Yu Hua hugged You Zhengping tighter, his words containing a double meaning.

So what if he was a Protector? When Yu Hua had eliminated the System, the Protectors could also attain peaceful and happy lives. They wouldn’t have to shoulder this sort of fate anymore.

“Why didn’t you ask me about it?” You Zhengping asked.

Yu Hua said, “In fact, there are only the following possibilities. First, you’re not very careful. You ruined the pants and were worried I’d regret the money. After all, our finances have been a little tight recently. You didn’t want me to worry, so you secretly bought an identical pair. That’s normal.

“Second, you and Cen Xiao often work together and often swap clothes. Your builds are similar, and it’s normal for you to accidentally wear the wrong clothes. After putting on the wrong pants, Cen Xiao thought he had gotten them dirty and bought a new pair to make it up to you. You didn’t make a big deal of it, just tossed the receipt and the label somewhere. That’s also normal.

“Third, the simplest, you don’t like frugally wearing pants that won’t be washed clean, but you like the color, style, and fit of the pants, so you bought new ones.”

Hearing Yu Hua thinking of excuses for him, You Zhengping buried his head deep in his husband’s embrace. Yu Hua was too good. Didn’t even need You Zhengping to think of reasons. He came up with three options for him, and You Zhengping just needed to pick one.

Yu Hua didn’t even ask him which reason it was. Instead, he asked, “Have you been uneasy about the TV dramas I’ve been watching lately?”

“You noticed?” You Zhengping nodded, his soft hair rubbing against Yu Hua’s chest.

“All your thoughts are written on your face. How could I not guess?” Yu Hua said. “I was randomly watching dramas about husband and wife relationships. When I’d watched them, I thought they were ridiculous. What kind of normal life is that for a couple? The dramas about mother-in-laws bullying their daughter-in-laws are more realistic.”

“Are you going to watch that next?” You Zhengping thought that was a scary image.

“No, I’m planning to understand something of the internet celebrity circle, the variety show circle, and the entertainment circle,” Yu Hua said. “President Zhen got on the popular searches today. The studio’s future course of development will certainly be connected to this. This is a knowledge blind spot for me. I’ll have to understand it from several aspects.”

Hearing him constantly talk about his future plans for the studio, You Zhengping couldn’t help thinking, it would be a good thing if there were no Destroyers, and Zhen Li really was a minor entrepreneur, Yuan Luori an employee with potential signed by the studio, and Lian Yufan an irritating colleague. And himself really an insignificant auxiliary police officer, patrolling on his motor scooter every day, stopping when he passed by Yu Hua’s office building, drinking a mouthful of water and lifting his head to look at the floor Yu Hua worked on, his mind quickly wandering away from his work.

Yu Hua went on, “My new colleague today is really obnoxious. He kept trying to spoil our relationship. He must be jealous of you or me.”

“Hm?” You Zhengping raised his head and saw that Yu Hua’s expression was serious.

“There are some people who are jealous of others for things that they themselves can’t have, or rather, can’t do. They think everyone is like them, unable to attain happiness,” Yu Hua said.

You Zhengping blinked, remembering each time Lian Yufan had gotten the better of him at the nationwide competition with his reasoning grades. But You Zhengping hadn’t been jealous of Lian Yufan. You Zhengping had followed his heart to make decisions every time.

You Zhengping thought, following Yu Hua’s theory, was Lian Yufan actually jealous of him? Why would he be jealous? Lian Yufan had been the one to get first place.

“He kept mentioning the pants, so I was mad,” Yu Hua said frankly.

“Oh, no wonder you broke a rule and drank,” You Zhengping said. “Weren’t you drunk? Why is your train of thought so clear now?”

Yu Hua said, “A little drunk, but not totally out of control, either.”

Yu Hua hadn’t used his abilities or his power to resist the alcohol. His performance had been authentic. He had wanted to act a little childishly, to force You Zhengping to take care of him. In the dark, he had gradually recovered his intellect.

“Are you going to keep squabbling over the pajamas with me?” You Zhengping poked Yu Hua’s chest.

“I wanted you to cheer me up,” Yu Hua said boldly. “I’m unhappy. You have to cheer me up.”

“Yes, yes, I will, I will!” You Zhengping shifted positions, hugging Yu Hua’s head. “I’m a little happy.”

“I have a bit of headache.” Yu Hua pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ordinarily I’m asleep by eleven, and now it’s nearly one.”

“Then hurry up and sleep,” You Zhengping said.

“No.” Yu Hua squeezed his wrist. “I don’t want to sleep today.”

Having missed the ordinary time to go to sleep, not only were you not sleepy, you instead became more clear-headed. Forcing yourself to sleep would make it very hard to fall asleep. The best solution was suitable exercise.

After exercising with Yu Hua for a while, You Zhengping fell deeply asleep. He’d been uneasy lately and hadn’t been sleeping well. Now, having had something to drink and spoken openly with his husband, his feelings had eased a great deal, and he slept very soundly.

But Yu Hua was of the type that couldn’t fall asleep until he had completely digested alcohol. He stayed lying down for a while, heard his husband sleeping deeply, then got up and went to the study. He opened today’s desk calendar page and wrote in his diary.

—XX/XX/XX, Indulged for once today and had some beer.

I’ve always done my best to avoid using substances that can easily lead to addiction, such as cigarettes and alcohol, including coffee, tea, and so on. Products like that would somewhat stimulate the nerves and disturb my peaceful life.

But sometimes, enjoying a glass can have its appeal.

Xiao You spent ages choosing and still ended up choosing that foot towel. Fortunately, I washed and disinfected all the towels this morning. I’ve always washed things carefully, so there’s no need to worry too much.

From this, it’s clear that Xiao You’s luck is really bad. That makes sense. If he had good luck, he wouldn’t have run into me on his first blind date and from then on been tied up with me, gradually drawn in by my arts.

But my luck is good. That was my first and probably only blind date. In my peaceful life plan, I didn’t make space for another person. I just wanted to work a conventional job, abide by the social order, pass an indifferent and normal life like every normal person. But on that blind date, which was like an assignment, I grasped that fleeting color.

He’s open and sincere, accepts everything about me without reservation, my obsessions, my jealousy, the desire for control that even I can’t accept. He takes all the adversity with a smile and sincerely feels that it’s a blessing.

If thinking of an excuse to trick me with will upset him, then I’ll help him think of a reason. If Director Lian troubles him, then I’ll…

Yu Hua paused. He was silent for a long time before finally writing a line.

—Forget it. Then I’ll make work unpleasant for my new colleague.

Author’s Note
Yuan Luori at the moment: I’m not only nearly-sighted, I’m blind! Help!

Zhen Li: Didn’t you say I was supposed to take the cage when we finished eating skewers? Great master, you got drunk and forgot to give me the cage. What about the cage?!

The sparrow in the cage: zzz, sleeping serenely.

Lian Yufan: entirely unknowing, has just escaped a calamity.

Translator’s Note

1点到谁就是谁就是你！- a counting game; I considered and rejected numerous English counting games as substitutes. Unsurprisingly this is a very culturally specific phenomenon.