Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 46
The still hungover Lian Yufan’s head hurt a lot. When he saw the new “public relations director,” it hurt even more. He sat right down on the dance practice room’s little rest bench and rapped twice on his forehead with his hand.
“Yu Hua told me to come to work. Where is he?” Lian Yufan asked.
“He’s negotiating a talent show contract for Yuan Luori. He’s gone out of the office,” Zhen Li considerately explained for Yu Hua.
“For me?” Yuan Luori pointed at himself. He didn’t know that Yu Hua was the black-cloaked man and hated this cold-blooded human resources director. Frowning, he said, “What stupid talent show? I want to study.”
Zhen Li didn’t try persuading him. When the time came, Yu Hua would have his own way of making Yuan Luori go, anyway. The only difference was whether he went obediently or against his will.
Lian Yufan drank a cup of water to revive himself and went up to the little husky. Naturally he didn’t know that this husky was Destroyer 192. He only took it for a dog Yu Hua had bought.
“What did Yu Hua buy this thing for?” Lian Yufan poked the little husky’s head. The little husky opened its blue eyes wide. Written in its eyes were the words “I don’t want to live.”
“It must be to attract fans during the livestreams.” This was the excuse Zhen Li had thought of for Yu Hua after thinking all last night. “Cute animal livestreams are very well-received now, and huskies are particularly successful. Our studio is in its pioneering stage. We have to try everything once.”
Lian Yufan said, “But this husky looks like it wants to die. It’s all sickly, and it won’t eat. How long will it live? Why didn’t Yu Hua buy one in better condition?”
Zhen Li knew that it was because Destroyer 192 didn’t want to live anymore after becoming a dog that it was refusing food like this, but he didn’t say anything. It was far too much of a coincidence for the dog Yu Hua had just bought to be Destroyer 192. It would make Lian Yufan, who had dispelled his misgivings, suspect Yu Hua again. He had to choose to keep silent.
Luckily, Lian Yufan thought of an answer himself. “It must be because the dog is sick and he got it for cheap. Yu Hua is unbearably stingy. He buys everything cheap.”
There was still an acrid smell floating through the studio leftover after the decoration. The couple of formaldehyde-absorbing money plants had been bought by Lian Yufan at his own expense when he really couldn’t stand it anymore. If not for the fact that everyone here was either a Destroyer or a special ability user with superhuman constitutions that couldn’t be harmed by formaldehyde, then Yu Hua’s actions would have amounted to slow murder!
Zhen Li didn’t want everyone to pay too much attention to the little husky, afraid that its identity as Destroyer 192 would leak out. So he mentioned how much money he had made yesterday. This was the greatest income the studio had had since it had been established. It was worth celebrating.
Since yesterday had been brought up, Lian Yufan said, “Yesterday went well thanks to your clever substitution, eating all the slips of paper and the cardboard box in time. There were so many people on the first floor then. If the slip Destroyer 192 wrote the phone number on had turned into a bomb, all our efforts would have been wasted.”
Hearing about the slips of paper, the little husky instantly looked up at Zhen Li with a vicious look. It had originally meant to use the customers at the first floor lottery drawing as hostages, but when it had opened the phone app, it hadn’t seen the largest bomb. It turned out that it was this waste of space, who had only gone through four levels, who had spoiled his plan!
The husky got up with difficulty and fiercely began to eat the dog food in the bowl. It wanted revenge, it couldn’t starve to death!
Pooh, what kind of dog food is this? It tastes so bad! Its senses of smell and taste were very sensitive. A single mouthful, and it could taste that there was meat gone off, illegally recycled cooking oil, and flavorings to cover up the odor of decay, as well as an appetite stimulant…
This must be shoddy dog food bought by that demon Yu Hua for the sake of torturing it.
Yuck… The little husky bore the disgust, eating the dog food with difficulty.
“I could only eat a little.” Hearing Lian Yufan praise him, Zhen Li felt awkward. “You’re the real hero. Weren’t you the one who repaired the mall building when it was blown up? I saw yesterday that you were leaning against the wall the whole time without moving. Were you hurt?”
Lian Yufan was very contained. He thought it was what he ought to have done. “I was a little injured. My spine was broken, but the black-cloaked man used Destroyer 192’s System to get a healing pill. Your System’s technology is really advanced. I was completely recovered right after I took it.”
The little husky, having finished eating the dog food in the bowl, quickly lifted its head. So the building didn’t blow up yesterday because of you!
And then there was Yuan Luori. It had only been taken in because he had tricked it.
The three people in the studio, in addition to the black-cloaked man Yu Hua, were all his personal enemies!
“Aw-woooo!” the little husky howled mournfully. I’ve fallen to today’s state of being forced to eat garbage dog food entirely because of you people!
After crying out, the little husky threw itself forward to bite Lian Yufan’s neck…
It was tied on a leash. Within the radius of the leash, the only person it could touch was Lian Yufan, who was completely unguarded against this dog.
Lian Yufan’s reflexes were extremely good. How could he get bitten by a dog? He turned slightly and raised his hand. The husky bit his sleeve, tearing away a piece of fabric.
“This dog bites? Does it have rabies?” Lian Yufan calmly stretched out his arm and lifted the little husky by the scruff of its neck, instantly controlling the dog.
“I don’t think it has rabies,” said Zhen Li dryly, knowing the reason behind the attack. “Maybe it doesn’t like you.”
“I don’t think so. I had dogs when I was little. Dogs don’t hate me.” Lian Yufan saw that there was a little yellow duckbill muzzle on the table. He picked it up and put it on the little husky. “That will stop it from biting. It can wear a muzzle for now. We’ll take it off when it eats. Who bought these dog products? There’s a pretty complete set.”
“It must have been Yu Hua…” Zhen Li said.
Yesterday’s operation had ended before 11 AM. It had been after 7 PM when Zhen Li had come back to the studio. Yu Hua had been soaked through then, looking like he had spent a long time out in the rain. When Yu Hua had left, Zhen Li had seen articles for training a dog stacked in a corner and guessed that Yu Hua had braved the rain to buy them.
“And there’s a cage,” Lian Yufan said in satisfaction. “Put it in. That’ll keep it from going to the toilet everywhere.”
Seeing how practiced he seemed, Zhen Li said, “How long did you have dogs?”
Lian Yufan was silent. Then he said, “…When I was little, my dad often wasn’t home. My mother and I weren’t close, so I kept pets to relieve the loneliness. Later, while training with the Protectors, I also took part in training police dogs.”
“Do the Protectors need to train police dogs, too? This world doesn’t have animals with special abilities, does it?” Yuan Luori asked curiously. His parrot had been taken by the Protection Organization and investigated for a long time. Finally they had determined that it was an ordinary parrot. It had been taken to a zoo to be cared for.
“There were no Destroyers in this world for fifteen years in a row. Without Destroyers, the Protection Organization has no reason to exist. Five years ago, the organization told us that we could choose to train at a second job we liked during our spare time. So I went to the police dog unit to intern for a while, but later…” Lian Yufan didn’t continue. He looked at Zhen Li.
Later, Zhen Li had come, and Director Xiao had had Lian Yufan transferred from the police dog unit to come to the Xuyang District and investigate Yu Hua’s identity.
All Protectors had cover identities. People like You Zhengping were comparatively fond of play. They had gone through the back door to get jobs as temporary workers at the subdistrict office. Except for when the subdistrict office was especially busy, they wouldn’t use them. Lian Yufan, however, had gone to the police dog unit, had seriously studied how to be a trainer, had taught police dogs.
Five years ago, when he had received the notice that he could choose a second job, Lian Yufan had been truly happy. He had thought that it was all over, but…
“Let me train this dog,” Lian Yufan said towards the dog in the cage. “Huskies have low intelligence and a low capacity to be trained. They can’t become police dogs. If you want it to be a cute pet and attract livestream fans, at least it has to be clever and understand human speech. It’s not like you can livestream it biting people. I can’t train it to be a police dog, but an internet famous dog shouldn’t be much of a problem.”
Lian Yufan and Destroyer 192… This livestream combination was truly weird.
Zhen Li picked up a cup and drank a mouthful of water to steady his nerves. “I didn’t think you would worry about how many fans we have.”
Lian Yufan had never cooperated with their work. He didn’t have any sense of belonging to the studio. Though he was a beauty with a birthmark, his popularity was low. Any fans of his who appeared in the livestream met with major disappointment.
Lian Yufan scratched the little husky’s head and said, “Although you’re Destroyers, you don’t have the System’s power anymore and have to have jobs to scrape by in this world. I’m responsible for minding you, so I can’t watch you starve to death or come to the ends of your ropes and go out robbing people. It’s much better for you to be able to make money and support yourselves than for the Protection Organization to support you. The country doesn’t have so much money that it can support former enemies.”
Following the battle with Destroyer 192, Lian Yufan’s view of Zhen Li and Yuan Luori had changed. He didn’t even hate You Zhengping so much anymore, or else he wouldn’t have warned him to pay attention to Yu Hua’s mental state.
Fighting shoulder-to-shoulder was the best method for getting closer.
Lian Yufan pinched the center of his brow and earnestly wrote a training table for the husky Xiao Er and stuck it on the wall. Xiao Er was the name Lian Yufan had chosen for the husky.
He told Zhen Li and Yuan Luori, “I won’t necessarily be able to train Xiao Er every second. When I’m not here, it’ll be up to you two to help. This is its training table. When you’re training a dog, you have to start when it’s a puppy, particularly when it’s between two and sixth months old. This husky looks three months old from its size. That’s when its rate of growth and ability to learn are greatest. Making a foundation is very important. We can’t relax.”
Looking at the table, Zhen Li’s head spun. What was all this fixed times for defecating, oral commands, biting, picking up, jumping… A course of study with rewards and penalties was carefully written on the table, what mild punishments to use if the dog didn’t behave, how to reward it with food; it was very rational and scientific.
Zhen Li brought the table up in front of the husky. Taking pleasure in its misfortune, he smiled and said, “From now on, you’re a social animal.”
The husky Xiao Er was literate. When it read the assignments on the training table, it immediately lay down on its back in the cage. Because of the muzzle, it couldn’t howl. It could only make a groaning sound.
It had not only become a dog, it was also going to be tortured by its enemies.
“You’re staying in the studio overnight, so talk to it from time to time,” Lian Yufan ordered Yuan Luori. “It’s currently in its learning period. If you talk to it more, that will help the dog understand our speech and grasp oral commands faster.”
After handing out assignments, Lian Yufan left to go rest. His head really hurt. Before leaving, Lian Yufan warned the two members of staff not to tell Yu Hua that he was skipping work. They had to count him as present.
Zhen Li took a picture of Xiao Er’s training table and posted an update that said: Our studio has hired another new director. This is the new director’s training table.
[Hahaha! Are you trying to kill me with laughter and inherit my credit card and checks? The new director has four legs. What is its job?]
[Apparently we have to wait for Director Yu to get back to determine its job. President Zhen let slip that Director Yu said that Director Lian isn’t dedicated to his work, so he wants to replace him with Director Ha1.]
[What the hell is a Director Ha? Why is the public relations director a dog? What can it do in a public relations crisis?]
[It must be that it’ll grovel when something goes wrong.]
The fans were very much looking forward to seeing the new Director Ha. Zhen Li said that when it was properly trained, it would appear on the livestreams. The fans thought they would have to wait a long time, but that night, when Yuan Luori was studying on the livestream, Director Ha appeared on camera.
In the livestream image, Director Yuan was sitting on the ground with Criminal Law placed on top of the husky’s cage. He was reciting, “The crime of endangering public safety is the most harmful crime among ordinary criminal offenses. It is a wide concept, encompassing the crimes of setting off bombs and releasing poisons. Depending on the circumstances, the penalties are divided among three years imprisonment or less or short-term detention, between three and seven years of imprisonment, or ten years imprisonment or more with death as the highest penalty.”
The husky Xiao Er: “…”
The three-month-old dog trembled all over in its cage. Yuan Luori’s words made it remember its experiences on the rooftop in spite of itself. The black-cloaked man like an evil spirit had lifted him and turned on the video conference with the Clearing League, committing atrocities against his injured self, catching him between life and death; it had hurt so much.
This had all been because he hadn’t behaved according to what the black-cloaked man had said. He had broken the law.
“Biting belongs to the crime of deliberately harming people. Depending on the circumstances, the lightest punishment is a short-term detention, while the heaviest is ten years or more imprisonment or death,” Yuan Luori said. “So you can’t go around biting people, understand?”
After being shut up in the cage, the husky’s muzzle had been removed. Yuan Luori reached into the cage to poke the husky’s head.
The frightened Director Ha didn’t bite him. It raised its head and howled miserably: “Awoooo!”
“Uh…I’m not so familiar with civil law, let me flip through the book.” Yuan Luori put down Criminal Law and found the Civil Law he had borrowed just that day. “As I thought, being noisy and disturbing residents belongs in the category of civil law. You need to compensate for losses. We’re in a business district here, the second category of the five standard categories of environmental noise. During the day, the noise level can’t exceed sixty decibels, and during the night, it can’t exceed fifty decibels. Our studio is rented. If there are complaints from our neighbors, we won’t only have to pay a fine, we may also lose the studio. The rental costs and decoration expenses were pretty high. If you howl too loudly… Well, I don’t know how Yu Hua will take it out on you. After all, you don’t even have a contract.”
Director Ha: “…”
Hearing Yu Hua’s name, it was scared to the point of collapse, but the instincts of a husky made it want to howl, so Director Ha bit the muzzle that had been dropped in the cage. It hit the cage with the muzzle, indicating that Yuan Luori should put the muzzle on for it.
While it could still howl that way, it would at least remind it not to.
“What? You understand so well?” Yuan Luori looked at the little dog in surprise.
“Bark…” Director Ha called quietly, looking askance at Yuan Luori’s stupid look.
The audience for Yuan Luori’s late night livestreams was mostly people studying to take graduate entrance exams, civil service exams, or certification exams. They wanted someone to accompany them in their studies, so they had found the studio. The number of people watching was very large, though no one spoke. Everyone was quietly reading.
Now, Director Ha’s astonishing natural talents attracted everyone’s notice. They expressed surprise one after another:
[Is this dog spiritually enlightened? Can it learn Civil Law better than me?]
[Director Yuan, please repeat, don’t interfere with the children testing into university.]
[Studying late at night is bitter. Seeing that there’s a fluffy dog to accompany me, I instantly feel healed.]
[I fervently request for Director Ha to appear in the late night livestreams after this.]
Through his studies and teaching the husky law, the not very popular Yuan Luori gathered some fame. #HuskyCivilLaw# climbed up the livestream channel’s popular searches. Though its position was low, it was still enough to attract notice.
When Yu Hua got up the next morning, he received the news that someone had posted a recording of the livestream online. Yuan Luori hadn’t managed to arrange a ship with President Zhen, but he had made sparks with Director Ha.
That made sense. The two of them had inadvertently violated the same laws. Only the degree of severity was different. Of course they would have a common language.
Cold-blooded Director Yu expressionlessly watched the recording and read the popular searches, then quickly contacted the talent show group to renegotiate Yuan Luori’s position.
At first the talent show group didn’t agree. At the beginning, they had had their eyes on Zhen Li. Yu Hua had insisted on changing to Yuan Luori. The talent show group, on account of the contract, had reluctantly agreed. But Yu Hua kept changing things. The internet celebrities under the Zhen Studio’s banner weren’t especially well-known, and they couldn’t provide the talent show group with resources. Where did they get the capacity to make such a fuss?
Though after they had read Yu Hua’s plan, the talent show group was forced to admit that this script was truly ideal. They really wanted to headhunt Yu Hua.
While Yu Hua was haggling with the talent show group, You Zhengping quietly looked at him through the study door. Seeing his husband seriously at work and probably too busy to attend to him, he smacked his own chest and quietly returned to the bedroom. He locked the door, took his hiking bag out from the bottom of the wardrobe, and took out a thick book.
This was the desk calendar diary that Lian Yufan had copied when he had been investigating Yu Hua. When the investigation had ended, it had all reverted to You Zhengping. You Zhengping had bound it into a book and hidden it at home, planning to indulge in it when he had nothing else to do.
Today he wasn’t going behind Yu Hua’s back to get out the desk calendar diary because he wanted to remember the past. You Zhengping really didn’t know how to plan a date!
He had talked big, said to leave everything to him this time, told Yu Hua he was to sit back and enjoy it. Tomorrow was the date. What should he do?
You Zhengping had promised Yu Hua that he wouldn’t go to Cen Xiao to ask his friend for help. He had to overcome this crisis on his own.
You Zhengping had spent half the night going through forum posts on his phone. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, but he still hadn’t found a perfect date plan.
He hadn’t slept all night. His eyes had been wide open until daylight. When he had gotten up in the morning, his pillow had been covered in hair.
When Yu Hua went to the study to work, You Zhengping finally had a brain wave and slapped his thigh. Didn’t he still have Yu Hua’s desk calendar diary?
In Yu Hua’s desk calendar diary there were records of countless date plans. Though they had all fallen through, these plans fully embodied Yu Hua’s preferences. He couldn’t go wrong following them!
Of course You Zhengping didn’t want Yu Hua to know that he had copied his diary. When he had secretly determined that his husband hadn’t noticed him, he took the diary out for reference.
What he didn’t know was that when he locked the door, Yu Hua had already silently appeared outside the bedroom door. He pressed his ear gently to the door and heard the sound of You Zhengping rummaging through the wardrobe. He laughed quietly.
Yu Hua returned to the study, flipped open the desk calendar, and briskly wrote:
—XX/XX/XX, Xiao You has locked the door behind my back for the first time and is going through the wardrobe, looking for clues about me.
Last night, I frantically hinted to him that recently I’ve been enjoying a TV drama about a wife hiding a secret from her husband. He must have understood my meaning and knew to go searching behind my back.
I’m delighted. I’m looking forward to him personally prying away my disguise and finding the secrets hidden inside.
How will Xiao You treat me when the time comes? Will he be troubled, struggling between duty and affection? Will he choose to conceal it or expose it?
I feel a twisted sort of secret happiness. I don’t know which outcome I’m looking forward to.
Author’s Note
Yu Hua: When I think about how if Xiao You betrays me, naturally I’ll be able to imprison him, threaten him, make it so he only looks at me, only eats my cooking. I might be insane.
Lian Yufan: You control freak. You’ve always been seriously insane, all right?
Translator’s Note
1”Husky” is transcribed as 哈士奇 (hashiqi), so the name comes from the first character of that.
