Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 62

—XX/XX/XX, I have become a married person. This is something that I never expected a year ago.

I’m a person who likes plans. When I was twelve years old, I planned out my whole life.

Go to a school that looks good to outsiders, be a student there who doesn’t stand out much. After graduation, like many university students, I would find a job through my school, starting at the lowest level. I wouldn’t need to exert myself to the utmost. I would work steadily, slowly relying on time and accumulation of experience to make it to the middle management level.

Before thirty, I would save enough money for a downpayment, take out a loan to buy a small apartment where I could live alone, get a car with good gas mileage under two-hundred thousand yuan, live this ordinary and languid life through to the end.

It was all right if I had no ambitions or couldn’t save much money. I didn’t want to work very hard. I only wanted to drink a leisurely cup of black tea in the afternoons.

I arranged everything, but I didn’t think of feelings and blessings. These are things outside of plans, and things that I never understood before. I had even rejected them.

I told Xiao You during our blind date that I wanted to find a person who longed for a comfortable life, but this was only an excuse.

Perhaps being alone had already become a habit. I couldn’t imagine spending my life with a complete stranger and accepting his circle of friends, being admitted into another family. Just imagining this picture made me shudder.

These were ideas I had before meeting Xiao You. Now, holding my marriage certificate, I’m reexamining my past ideas. I can only sigh about how changeable the world is. Plans can never keep up with change.

My considerations were indeed comprehensive. The only thing I didn’t think of was that my plans were black and white. They didn’t have the colors of life. I rejected everyone, and Xiao You crashed into my peaceful world and added color to it with his brush.

Thinking about it carefully, it is frightening to walk towards the grave alone. If there’s someone on that road to support you and be supported, you’ll have more courage.

From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

In the base’s lounge, You Zhengping turned on his personal computer and read the photographs of Yu Hua’s calendar diary. After Lian Yufan’s investigation, he had deleted all the electronic duplicates and sent the original to You Zhengping. Even though he had a physical copy, You Zhengping still couldn’t stand to delete the electronic one and had saved it to his hard disk. The computers in the base were only connected to the internal network. The outside internet couldn’t intrude. It was the safest possible computer.

He had already read the calendar diary many times. Before, he had only read sweetness in it. When he opened it again this time, he tasted bitterness.

Yu Hua’s current life was completely different from the one he had planned out in that diary entry.

When You Zhengping had met Yu Hua, he had been only an assistant in the human resources department, the lowest level of employee. He had seemed to have no ambition. During the year the two of them had dated, Yu Hua’s position had soared. When they had gotten married, he had been only a step from senior management.

And he hadn’t bought a small one-room apartment. Before he was twenty-five, he had bought a nearly two-hundred fifty square meter apartment, because You Zhengping had many friends and relatives and needed a large apartment to entertain guests.

Buying the apartment had cleaned out Yu Hua’s savings, which had come from who knew where. He had struggled for a few years before having spare money again to buy You Zhengping a car that cost over 300,000 yuan, and even then he had been a little unsatisfied; he had originally wanted to buy one for between half a million and a million.

A car for less than 200,000 hadn’t been on the agenda.

Because of You Zhengping, there had been earth-shattering changes in Yu Hua’s life. You Zhengping didn’t know whether the changes he had brought had been good or bad.

But when he thought of Yu Hua’s original plan, living alone, choosing his own grave, waiting to die a natural death and then going quietly, You Zhengping felt oppressed.

Lian Yufan had taken this diary as meaningless feelings, Cen Xiao and the others had complained about eating dog food again, and You Zhengping had at first been so delighted that his heart had filled with honey.

Until now, when You Zhengping finally understood the sort of story that lay behind this diary.

He thought of Huan Zixu’s absurd conjectures about the black-cloaked man. You Zhengping had been unable to control himself. He had stood up to argue with Huan Zixu. He had wanted to tell everyone that the black-cloaked man didn’t have any of those intentions. He was only tired.

He only wanted to rest, only wanted to live a peaceful life, only wanted to live peacefully to the last moment of his life. Why was that so hard?

You Zhengping rubbed his chest. It hurt. It hurt more than being blown up by Destroyer 192. It hurt so much that he was going to cry.

Bang-bang-bang. Someone was knocking on the door.

You Zhengping quickly turned off his computer, wiped away his tears, and opened the door to see that Cen Xiao had come with Zhen Li.

Zhen Li was a Destroyer. He didn’t have the authority to move around the base on his own. He had to call on the Protectors. The Protector responsible for him was Cen Xiao. Zhen Li had requested that Cen Xiao take him to see the handsome uncle Protector.

“He said that he had something to say to you,” Cen Xiao said, “and he won’t let me listen. I’ll withdraw.”

Cen Xiao left the room. You Zhengping looked at Zhen Li uncomprehendingly, not knowing what this naïve Destroyer could have to say to him.

“I came to thank you,” Zhen Li said, getting right to the point. “If you hadn’t woken me up in time, I would have been tricked by Huan Zixu.”

You Zhengping reverted to his official bearing and said emotionlessly, “I was only looking at the thing on its merits. That’s where my duty is. There’s nothing to thank me for.”

Zhen Li said earnestly, “But I still have to thank you. I learned too many things today. My head was a mess. It’s only just occurred to me that I’m disturbing your rest.”

“You didn’t disturb me,” You Zhengping said simply.

“I was about to suspect that the great master clearer had hidden intentions. If you hadn’t warned me, my fate would have been terrible.” Zhen Li touched his face. He was afraid of being disfigured.

“Fate would have been terrible…” You Zhengping looked Zhen Li up and down and tentatively said, “You were the first Destroyer to have contact with the black-cloaked man, and much of our information about the black-cloaked man comes from you. Do you understand him well? Do you have much contact? Do you know his true identity?”

Zhen Li felt a trace of animosity from the handsome uncle Protector’s three soul-searching questions. He quickly waved his hands. “I don’t understand him, I don’t, all I know is what he was willing to reveal. He probably wants to use me to express goodwill towards the Protection Organization. I believe that he has no ill intent and is willing to work with the organization. He just doesn’t want to reveal his identity.”

“Really?” You Zhengping scrutinized Zhen Li.

In fact, the reason Lian Yufan had suspected Yu Hua from the start was that Zhen Li’s studio had hired him. That was what had brought about the investigation.

Now…Yu Hua was the only “ordinary person” among the studio’s staff. The rest were all Destroyers or Protectors, and yet no one was suspicious. Even Lian Yufan, who had at first retained his 1% suspicion, had become firmly convinced of Yu Hua’s “ordinary person” identity.

Zhen Li took Yu Hua as his guide. He gave him shares, gave him administrative powers, taught Yuan Luori the sliding kneel on the livestream. Knowing that Lian Yufan was a Protector, he still asserted himself to help Yu Hua make trouble for Lian Yufan.

The strangest thing was that the Protector squads who were following the livestreams hadn’t felt any suspicion about the arrangement of authority in the studio. Luo Huai had voiced a doubt, and Lian Yufan had personally explained the unusual situation.

Even Director Xiao had privately ordered You Zhengping to pay constant attention to Yu Hua’s mental state and take good care of him. If Yu Hua had been bullied at the studio, then Director Xiao would certainly have helped him find a well-paid job if he had the opportunity.

All of them had extreme faith in Yu Hua, as though they had been enchanted. “Yu Hua is an ordinary person” was a deeply-rooted idea in the Protectors’ hearts.

You Zhengping was certain he didn’t have any ability similar to Huan Zixu’s “false exchange.” He had no special ability, no brainwashing skills. This was an idea that had grown up in their minds through daily subtle influence.

Wasn’t the reason that they were all so certain because there was an accomplice who seemed unable to hold his tongue, who was always saying the wrong thing, who was extremely cooperative, who was a total fool?

You Zhengping trusted his intuition absolutely. He loved Yu Hua. He had been unable to move on from the moment he had seen Yu Hua’s face. He was certain that his feelings wouldn’t stray. He was narrow-minded and could only love one person. If he loved someone, that person was Yu Hua!

He had no arguments, no evidence, no facts, but he was certain!

Zhen Li saw the handsome uncle Protector’s expression looking more and more off. He backed up step by step, until he had retreated to the wall and had nowhere else to retreat to. He was scared into trembling and crouched down, holding his head. “I really wouldn’t dare to lie to you!”

You Zhengping stared at Zhen Li, feeling so sick at heart that he was in a muddle. Zhen Li was the only person who had seen the black-cloaked man’s true face.

The only one!!!

With one hand, he lifted Zhen Li, who was like a scared little rabbit. He looked him up and down, left and right, and suddenly understood something Yu Hua had said—there was something attractive about Zhen Li’s flat cheeks.

Zhen Li was scared nearly to death. He thought that if the handsome uncle Protector asked one more question, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from telling the truth.

But the handsome uncle Protector only pinched his chin and carefully studied his face. Sneering, he said, “You’re pretty good looking. No wonder you managed to become a minor internet celebrity.”

“I’m passable. If you were twenty years younger, you would definitely be better-looking than me,” Zhen Li praised You Zhengping’s nanotech mask.

I don’t need to be younger, I’m already more handsome than you! You Zhengping flared up inside, but he didn’t say it out loud. He let go of Zhen Li and waved his hand. “All right, you’ve thanked me, go on.”

“Oh, thank you.” Zhen Li felt that he had escaped a calamity and dejectedly left the room. When he walked out the door, he let out a long breath.

Cen Xiao, waiting outside the door, saw that Zhen Li’s expression was unhappy and asked, “Why are you looking so bad?”

“It’s nothing. Your captain just told me I was handsome,” Zhen Li said, holding his chest, still scared after the fact.

“What? He said you were handsome?” Cen Xiao’s voice nearly broke.

What was wrong with You Zhengping? Not only was he defending the black-cloaked man in every way he could, he was also flirting with Zhen Li. What was going on? The seven year itch? He had been married too long and wanted stimulation?

Cen Xiao wanted to go have a heart-to-heart with You Zhengping, but first, he still had to take Zhen Li back, and second, he had already warned You Zhengping twice today.

“Aren’t I handsome?” Zhen Li looked at Cen Xiao in some disappointment. Where good looks were concerned, he had to stand up for himself when he could.

“That’s not it, I didn’t mean that you aren’t good-looking, I was just saying, he shouldn’t be… I don’t want him to… Forget it, don’t mention it, don’t take any notice, you’re the most handsome. Go get some rest, I’ll take you guys home tomorrow,” Cen Xiao said vaguely in the end.

Inside the lounge, after seeing Zhen Li off, You Zhengping leaned feebly against the door and slid down. He sat down on the cold floor.

If he had only asked one more question, Zhen Li wouldn’t have been able to withstand the pressure. He would have told the truth. But then what?

Yu Hua’s husband You Zhengping wanted to clear up his stew of messy feelings, but the Protector You Zhengping couldn’t know the black-cloaked man’s identity.

A Protector had a duty. If he acquired definite evidence, he would have to report it to the organization. He couldn’t do anything that wouldn’t be in the organization’s interests. He couldn’t hide any information concerning Destroyers.

He had been born into a military family and grown up in the Protectors’ training base. The teachings of generations of his ancestors and the education he had received growing up were all telling him that he had to be prepared at any moment to offer up everyone for his country and the people, to fulfill his duty. He couldn’t betray that.

So…what should he do?

He remembered that dream, the dream about the black-cloaked man kissing him. It hadn’t been a delusion, and it hadn’t been a disturbance to his thought field. It had been his intuition and his heart telling him the truth.

At the same time, intuition had told You Zhengping to ignore that dream.

You Zhengping painfully closed his eyes, every word Yu Hua had written in the calendar diary flashing through his mind.

Yu Hua wanted to live a peaceful life, and You Zhengping, who had married him, wanted to protect that dream.

You Zhengping opened his eyes. With no evidence, relying solely on his personal intuition, nothing was clear. Lian Yufan had been very suspicious of Yu Hua, but faced with the outcome of the investigation he had had to acknowledge it. Unless there came a day when the black-cloaked man took off his mask in front of everyone, all his guesses, intuitions, and feelings were of no avail.

The Protector You Zhengping didn’t know anything.

Author’s Note
Xiao You: I can only love one person. No matter what he becomes, I’ll still love him.