Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 68

When he got out the acupressure mat, many images flashed through Yuan Luori’s mind.

This must be what it was like when your life flashed in front of your eyes before you died, like a movie recalling your bleak and oblivious life, ending with a sigh and regrets about your past deeds.

What had he done in his whole brief and stupid life? When he had first come to the studio, he had held a dagger to Yu Hua’s neck and threatened him to walk out and not look back.

Thinking back on it, if Yu Hua hadn’t wanted to cover up his identity as the clearer, then wouldn’t Yuan Luori have been dead a hundred times over then?

Oh, no, there was no need to die a hundred times over. Yuan Luori’s gaze fell on Director Ha. Seeing the faint bomb in Director Ha’s body, he had guessed who Director Ha had been originally.

He and the black-cloaked man had plotted against Destroyer 192 and had stood with the Protector on the roof, facing 192.

Destroyer 192 hadn’t even spared a single glance for him then, but now the husky let him brush its fur, take it for walks, pick up its poop, and give it baths. The world was changeable; life was truly full of ups and downs.

In Yuan Luori’s eyes, Director Ha’s bomb was a little black ball with a fuse on it. The spark of the fuse was extinguished, and the bomb was gradually becoming transparent. It was nearly invisible. But it seemed that at Director Ha’s tail, there were two long threads stretching away. Yuan Luori couldn’t clearly see what was at the ends of those threads.

What did this mean? The extinguished bomb becoming transparent symbolized that Director Ha’s past ability had vanished, but why would there be two threads?

Yuan Luori couldn’t understand it.

He looked at Huan Zixu and saw a blue particular energy hidden in his brain and a lotus flower growing on his tongue. The blue energy was like Director Ha’s bomb, nearly invisible; it was inactive. The tongue…this must have been his inherent skill. Recalling Huan Zixu’s eloquence at the base, he thought that he really was as glib as though he had a lotus flower growing on his tongue.

But what did it matter what ability he had? Wasn’t he ignorantly trapped in the studio all the same, still naïvely believing that he could resist Yu Hua?

As his thoughts floated back to Yu Hua, Yuan Luori in spite of himself remembered the very beginning, when he hadn’t lost his ability yet and had carelessly signed the employment contract. He had sat at the studio’s only desk, bossing Yu Hua around, all “stupid native this,” “ignorant human that,” “waste of space with no combat ability…”

In the studio, right in front of Yu Hua’s face, he had spoken fervently to Zhen Li, telling him that the great master clearer was his savior, his idol. While he had been talking, he had even made Yu Hua pour him a cup of water!

No wonder Zhen Li had looked like he was keeping himself from saying something then. No wonder Zhen Li’s contract was the best in the whole studio. No wonder Yuan Luori had yet to see a hint of his salary and had been eating expired instant noodles all along. He…had only himself to blame!

He had also wanted to kill Yu Hua at the amusement park, make the Protection Organization believe that Yu Hua was a Destroyer, and free himself of suspicion!

He had also ruined Yu Hua’s date with his husband and shot Yu Hua with an arrow through the chest. Then all of his powers had been removed and his eyes had been damaged. He had suffered many broken bones and spent days recovering at the Protection Organization’s base.

The more Yuan Luori remembered, the more he thought that him still being alive was pure philanthropy on Yu Hua’s part.

He knelt heavily on the acupressure mat, lowering half of his body onto it and burying his face against the mat’s little nubs. He was too humiliated to face anyone.

“Yuan Luori, Yuan Luori!” Seeing him looking half dead, Lian Yufan went to pull Yuan Luori up. “What’s going on with you, get up!”

“I’m not getting up,” Yuan Luori said dully. “I’m too humiliated to live. Just let me rot in peace.”

“Get up!” Lian Yufan couldn’t budge him. He stealthily kicked his shin. “The show group is here, the camera is rolling.”

“What!” Yuan Luori lifted his head at once. His face was covered in indentations from the acupressure mat. He saw a blur of color in front of him and could faintly distinguish that there were five people there. They had some black pieces of equipment on their shoulders. He couldn’t tell what their features looked like. He couldn’t even tell whether they were men or women.

Though he had obtained the acknowledgement of the world law and had his special ability awaken, he was still near-sighted. When he looked at special ability users and those with the potential for special abilities, he could see them clearly, but for ordinary objects, he was still practically blind.

Thinking about it carefully, he had had eyes but been unable to see; the great master had truly accorded him the most appropriate punishment. What use were his eyes? He ought to donate them to someone who needed them!

Yuan Luori squinted and strove to distinguish the appearances of the show group’s members. The person responsible for filming him was a young woman. “Sorry, we came a little earlier than we arranged. My surname is Fu, you can all call me Xiao Fu. I’m going to shadow Yuan Luori for a day and night to make source material for the future show.”

“Oh…sorry.” As the studio’s president in name, Zhen Li went up to block Yuan Luori and communicate with the show group. “Our Xiao Yuan hasn’t had time to do his makeup yet.”

“Oh, that’s all right, Yuan Luori looks good without makeup, too…” Xiao Fu stared blankly at Yuan Luori and Zhen Li’s faces.

If there was no filter, people in reality looked better than people on camera. People in reality were three-dimensional and dynamic, but the camera would flatten them out, stretch them vertically and horizontally, and make them lose their dynamism. However good the equipment, actors on camera would still look fatter than they did in real life, so all actors were desperate to keep their weight down, keep their figures very skinny; that way they would look good on camera.

Yuan Luori had been an assassin. His figure was like a black cat’s, slender and supple. His muscles were well-proportioned and firm, giving him the sort of physique that looked thin when he was wearing clothing and muscular when he took it off. He also had a coldly arrogant face. Seeing his face in real life was a frightening assault on a person’s vision.

Though right now he was a little ridiculous, kneeling on the acupressure mat with uneven imprints on his face. His indifferent and wandering gaze added to his movements made him seem somewhat cute in a stupid way, entirely different from his previous livestreams.

“You’re also very handsome, President Zhen…” Since walking into the studio, Xiao Fu hadn’t known where to put her eyes. “Director Lian, your bearing is very forceful when you move. You have a military sort of elegance. We haven’t seen that side of you in the livestreams before. And then there’s…”

“Hello, Miss Fu, my name is Huan Zixu. I’m the new marketing director.” Huan Zixu drew back his previous lost expression, tidied his clothes, and shook hands with Xiao Fu.

Zhen Li turned on the livestreaming equipment in the corner in a timely manner. They had to livestream every morning anyway, so Yu Hua had ordered Zhen Li to livestream while the filming was going on so the show group wouldn’t try any malicious editing.

Zhen Li briefly explained the contents of today’s livestream, and soon countless fans surged up. Many of them called out on the barrage [We’re watching the crappy little studio all grown up and taking on business!]. The fans got excited. There was something of the happiness of “my child is a success.”

Yu Hua was a person who spent money on the edge of a knife. He had chosen decoration materials that were cheap but looked good. On the surface, his work was always satisfactory. But as for the livestream equipment, he had scooped the bottom out of the studio’s funds to buy good equipment. The angle of the lens was wide. It wasn’t an ordinary internet celebrity’s phone screen. It was a camera lens that could see in all directions around the whole studio.

As soon as the livestream began, what met the eye was Zhen Li’s lovely face, which had many times been in danger of being disfigured. When Zhen Li moved away, the three other attractive men were already arranged in working poses to welcome the show group.

Lian Yufan was specially trained. His posture was upright. He stood properly and sat properly and made no excess movements. His whole bearing was a comfort to the obsessive-compulsive. He had originally been excessively stiff, but the plastic surgeon had added a teardrop mole to the corner his eye; the mole added a bit of softness to his face, diluting his imposing military manner and making him look more simple and unassuming.

Yuan Luori had just stood up from the acupressure mat. He stretched his arms, displaying his slender, supple body. He was wearing all form-fitting black clothes. Standing next to the upright Lian Yufan, one stiff and one soft, they made a perfect contrast.

Zhen Li set up the livestream equipment and went over to the others. To welcome the show group, he had changed into a pure white suit, which suited his overly pretty but harmless face. He fit in perfectly among Lian Yufan and Yuan Luori.

The three of them were as beautiful as a picture, but the fans were already familiar with them. The barrage comments on the screen were thick, all asking about another person—Huan Zixu.

[Long hair, phoenix eyes, thin lips… In my view, this is a beautiful male character from ancient times appearing in front of me like this. May I ask who he is?]

[Why isn’t he wearing ancient dress? Where are President Zhen’s ancient robes? Get them out and give them to the new director to wear!]

[They’re introducing themselves, the new director is named Huan Zixu, even his name sounds like an ancient figure1. I’m clutching my chest. He should be a beauty in red or purple. It’s best if he follows the demonic path, both good and evil.]

[He despises everyone on earth, but in his heart there is only one “him.” For that “him,” Huan Zixu would kill everyone under the sun, and he would also put down his butcher’s knife and become a Buddha on the spot. Ah! I’ve already written a million character novel in my head.]

[Sister, if you can talk, then keep talking! Write it down for us! Hurry up!]

[Is there anyone else like me who has the impulse to tear that teardrop mole off of Director Lian’s face and stick it onto Director Huan?]

[Me too, I’ve always though a thin-lipped, long-haired beauty is most suited to a teardrop mole, as though he’s shedding a single tear as he goes from demon to human for that one good and pure “him.”]

[So who is that “him?” Currently I don’t think there’s anyone suitable. President Zhen is only beautiful, Director Yuan is only proud, Director Lian is only ruthless—their auras don’t match with Director Huan’s!]

[Wait, when they were introducing themselves just now, what did Director Huan say he was the director of? Marketing director? What is your studio going to market, beauty? If it is beauty, then I’ll give up a family fortune…]

[The Zhen Li Studio really is unique. They’ve collected all kinds of beautiful men who would be big hits in the entertainment world, and they’ve made them go direct public relations, marketing, cleaning… Your company’s human resources director is a rare genius.]

[And who was the Zhen Li Studio’s human resources director again?]

[Yu Hua.]

As soon as the characters “Yu Hua” appeared, the barrage instantly emptied out, as though all protests, doubts, and criticisms became powerless before this name.

A few minutes later, someone tentatively posted a [Let’s talk about the talent show] comment, and the barrage slowly became active again. From then on, no one touched the subject of the allocation of responsibilities.

From then on, in the Zhen Li Studio livestream, whenever there was any trouble, argument, malice, or name-calling on the barrage, if anyone so much as posted the characters “Yu Hua,” the barrage would instantly call a truce and turn to harmony. “Yu Hua” became the barrage’s protective talisman, clearing away all the forces of evil.

Of course, that was later.

With four handsome men all in different style standing in front of her, Xiao Fu was ready to faint. She covered her nose, turned her face away, and said, “Let’s start filming. Not need to be nervous, we’ll just film your lives and your interactions with Director Ha. You can answer a couple of questions from time to time. Yuan Luori-xiaogege, you also don’t need to worry, you look very good on camera!”

“All right,” Yuan Luori said, squinting.

“But don’t squint…” Xiao Fu said as soon as she saw his expression. “Glasses, contacts, either is good, just don’t squint.”

“Put on your contacts. I still need to do his makeup, wearing glasses is unsuitable,” Zhen Li said.

He took out contact lenses from a cabinet. These had been bought by the Protection Organization. They were of excellent quality, much better than contacts bought on the market in drug stores or makeup stores.

Yuan Luori still hadn’t come around from learning Yu Hua’s true identity. He seemed rather obedient, entirely different from his usual “you’re all stupid humans” manner on the livestreams. He also didn’t have the cold legal feeling of his midnight study livestreams. He seemed more like a proud black cat coming over once in a while to rub up against you. It softened the heart.

He opened his eyes wide and looked towards Zhen Li’s face, longing for Zhen Li to help him put in the contacts. He had had enough of this sunless sky.

Glasses seemed to be able to seal his special ability. When he put them on, the world became bright again, and Yuan Luori had the feeling of escaping from Yu Hua’s energy field. His body warmed up.

The way he had just earnestly and obediently let Zhen Li adorn him just now made the livestream fill up wildly with “LimingLuori.” Of course, there were also a few “CaoYuanLuoriLiming2” comments sandwiched among them from ill-intentioned believers, vainly attempting to carry their point.

The script in Xiao Fu’s hands was full of questions for Yuan Luori. She asked, “Why do you want to participate in the show ‘Idol’s Light?’”

Ordinarily, a person would give a conventional answer like “It’s my dream” or “To have a platform.” But Yuan Luori said, “In order to realize Yu Hua’s dream.”

“Yu Hua…is the human resources director we’ve been negotiating with but haven’t seen in person?” Xiao Fu asked. “What dream does he have?”

Yuan Luori was going to recite his answer from the script, but he suddenly remembered that Yu Hua was the great master clearer and instantly choked.

The great master clearer had subjugated countless world, acquired terrifying power, raised carnage in the System’s countless parallel worlds, and changed the structure of the System itself. You could say that Yu Hua could do anything he wanted. So in coming to this world and hiding among countless ordinary people, what did he want to do?

Yuan Luori remembered the world law that Huan Zixu had mentioned yesterday and suddenly had a bold idea. Did the great master clearer perhaps want to seize this unopened world’s natural law power and use it to defeat the System?

Somehow, what Yuan Luori said was, “It must be to conquer the world.”

“I had no idea myself that I had such a grand dream,” a voice said from the door.

Yu Hua walked into the studio, carrying his briefcase. He swept his gaze over Yuan Luori and said, “I belong to the salaried class, working diligently, desperately making money to pay back my mortgage and support my family. If I have to say that I have a dream, then it’s to work less and spend more time at home.”

Author’s Note
Yu Hua: You may not believe it when I say this, but everything I’m doing is to find a job with little overtime and relatively flexible hours.

Translator’s Note

1His given name (子虚) looks like a courtesy name with the 子(zi) character, though actually it’s a word meaning “fictitious.” For that matter, his surname (桓) sounds similar to the word for barter (换).

2From earlier, the name of Yuan Luori’s fanbase thrown in with the ship name. Put together, it’s “grasslands sunset and sunrise.”