Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life - Chap 7

Because Zhen Li and You Zhengping had accomplished the magnificent feat of getting three basketballs in at once, quite a few of the people strolling around the arcade had come over to the basketball area to watch the two great masters shoot hoops.

By the time the two of them got five balls in at once, there was a large audience watching the worldwide basketball throwing championship. There was even someone recording it with their phone and posting it online.

In the recording, a very attractive young man wearing a glistening green jacket was competing at shooting hoops with a handsome uncle with a perfect figure, whose face showed the marks of time. These two people’s attractiveness, bearing, and technique were all first-rate. As soon as the recording was posted, it was instantly reposted countless times.

And among the characters in the recording, sometimes a figure would appear. This person’s attractiveness and figure were in no way inferior to the other two, but his shooting technique was appalling.

The sharp-eyed netizens discovered this person—

[First I was sighing over the two great masters’ faces…ahem, the two great masters’ techniques. When I was getting ready to kneel, I saw that person in the corner of the recording, and I stood back up. I may not measure up to the great masters, but I’m better than next door.]

[The three of them are standing in a row. Could I ask that person who can’t get the ball into the hoop no matter what he does, what gave him the courage to fight alongside two gods?]

[Probably because of his attractiveness. After all, the three of them are all just as handsome…]

[If we’re talking about attractiveness, I have to kneel again. I have no way to attain that kind of attractiveness.]

[Everyone is cheering for the two great masters’ technique. Was I the only one cheering when the hot guy next to them pumped his fist when he finally got the basketball to touch the hoop? Poor guy, don’t you see how hard he’s trying?]

[I’m also cheering for next door. He looked so adorable when he pumped his fist in celebration.]

[Go, handsome, go! While your technique can’t measure up to the other two, you won’t lose to them in attractiveness!]

[I looked at the address, and it’s at the shopping mall down the street from me. I’m dropping the unfinished hotpot in front of me to rush to the arcade to look at the hot guys. What’s important isn’t how good their basketball technique is, it’s how good their faces are.]

[I’m dropping my Häagen-Dazs to come. What the hell is it doing keeping me from looking at hot guys?]

[I’m dropping my movie ticket to come, what the hell, the actors aren’t as good-looking as the basketball-playing hot guys.]

As the recording spread, many people at the mall came to the arcade. When Zhen Li was struggling to hold six basketballs with two hands, there were cheers and applause all around.

Hearing the surrounding voices, Yu Hua looked around himself and saw that he was surrounded by people whistling and cheering. It made Yu Hua feel instantly uneasy.

He didn’t like the feeling of being surrounded by people, he didn’t want to attract attention, and he was only a social failure who had lost his job. If You Zhengping found out he hadn’t gone to look for work but had instead gone to fool around at the arcade, You Zhengping would definitely be hurt.

Yu Hua knew that You Zhengping would never think he was useless. His husband was willing to wage war on the world for him. Before they were married, Yu Hua had asked You Zhengping, if Yu Hua couldn’t earn money one day, what would they do?

You Zhengping had answered, “What are you scared of? When the time comes, I’ll go out and do physical labor to support you. I’m very strong!”

Then he had flexed his arms at Yu Hua to show off his biceps. You Zhengping had seen Yu Hua smiling in disbelief and had taken him to the gym, lifting a hundred-pound barbell one-handed, indicating that if he went to do physical labor, he would definitely be able to earn a lot of money.

Yu Hua had only been asking in passing. Who could have known that You Zhengping was so earnest that he really had considered the possibility and wanted to support him with a strength that could lift a hundred-pound barbell one-handed? Yu Hua had felt then as though he had been wrapped in soft and steady warm water. He had quietly indulged himself for a few seconds, enjoying the gentleness coming from You Zhengping.

But he didn’t want You Zhengping to support him, and he especially didn’t want his husband to discover that he wasn’t attending to his proper duties. Yu Hua put down the basketball, looked at the crowd, then quietly turned and left the basketball area.

The observing crowd was disappointed to see him leave. Someone even wanted to urge him to stay.

Yu Hua saw there was someone blocking his way and lowered his eyes slightly to look at this person. The look in his eyes was cold and distant. It made the person who wanted to encourage Yu Hua to stay immediately back up a few steps, not daring to try speaking to him again.

The handsome uncle You Zhengping had been holding six basketballs and planning to show the Destroyer Zhen Li how mighty the Protectors were, but when Yu Hua left, You Zhengping suddenly lost interest in relative superiority.

He dropped the basketballs and said, “I really can’t manage six basketballs. You win.”

The young people around them called, “Uncle, you haven’t tried yet. Try it, maybe you can do it!”

Being called “uncle” for the first time, You Zhengping touched his face uneasily and said, “I’ve gotten old. I’m not as fit as a young man anymore.”

Then he picked up the suit jacket lying on the shelf next to him and casually draped it over himself. The sleeves of the ink-patterned shirt were rolled up, showing thin but powerful arms. You Zhengping put one hand in his pocket and held the jacket with the other hand. He looked like he was easily conceding defeat. In fact, he wanted to chase Yu Hua.

“Wait!” Zhen Li panicked. What about his clue? Wasn’t he supposed to get a clue if he won?

Seeing Zhen Li holding him back, You Zhengping turned alertly, wondering whether this Destroyer wanted to use the safety of all the people around them to threaten him. The look in You Zhengping’s eyes sharpened, his expression filling with danger. The Destroyer was already right in front of him. Even if he wanted to hurt the people around him, You Zhengping would be able to trap him in his space.

You Zhengping was a rare spatial ability user. He could imprison or protect a person in his spaces. The Protectors’ leadership had been extremely pleased and surprised when they had discovered You Zhengping. Before, the issue that the Protectors had been most worried about had been Destroyers hurting ordinary people. But You Zhengping could trap a Destroyer inside a space, and he could also use the spaces to protect ordinary people. His ability was made for protection.

At such a close distance, You Zhengping was certain of being able to capture Zhen Li. But there were too many people around, and there was still someone filming. He didn’t want to cause more problems, so he smiled easily, imitating Yu Hua. “Was there something else?”

Zhen Li took a deep breath, got out his phone, and said, “How about…we friend each other and swap pointers another time?”

Seeing him voluntarily extending an olive brach, the surrounding observers began to clap wildly. From time to time came a girl’s yell of, “I ship it, I ship it!”

You Zhengping saw that Yu Hua had already gone far away. He didn’t know where he had gone. He blinked, covering up the struggle and suffering in his heart. He wanted so much to be by Yu Hua’s side, to comfort him, to encourage him, to make his husband cheer up.

But that wouldn’t do. He was a Protector. He couldn’t abandon his work. He had to eliminate these vicious Destroyers.

You Zhengping blinked again, his expression steadying once more.

He put his arm around Zhen Li’s shoulders and warmly said, “It doesn’t have to be another time. Do you have time now? Let me get you something to eat.”

Here it comes! Zhen Li thought happily. When they were alone, would the middle-aged be able to tell him the clue?

He turned and waved at the observers, saying, “This gentleman and I are going to exchange tips. Everyone scatter, we’ll arrange to meet another day.”

“Exchange what tips?” someone jeered. “Basketball, or something else?”

You Zhengping composed his expression, thinking, I’m a married person, what’s with the shipping? How infuriating! He sacrificed so much for work!

Fortunately, the ordinary-looking Cen Xiao and other underlings were concealed among the crowd. They took the lead: “They’ve met someone who can appreciate their talents, what are you all gawking at? You can participate when you can get five basketballs into the hoop.”

The underlings worked very hard to disperse the crowd. You Zhengping took Zhen Li’s hand and smiled faintly. “What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever you want.” The important thing isn’t the food, it’s the clue! Zhen Li thought excitedly as he shook hands.

Arm around Zhen Li’s shoulders, You Zhengping took him as far as possible from the crowd. When they left the arcade, he suddenly discovered Yu Hua buying scratch-and-win lottery tickets at a lottery ticket stand in a corner. He was so upset he nearly cried.

Fortunately he had received specialized training and succeeded in covering up his true feelings.

Not giving anything away, You Zhengping walked by a restroom with Zhen Li. Cen Xiao had just told him in secret that they had already gotten everyone out of that restroom. He could act.

“I’ll go wash my hands first after touching the basketballs,” You Zhengping said, pointing naturally to the restroom.

“I’ll go, too.” Zhen Li raised his eyebrows. There seemed to be no one in the restroom. It was rather suitable for talking about clues.

The two of them went in together. You Zhengping stood in front of the sink, looking at Zhen Li in the mirror. Not giving anything away, he said, “Your shooting technique really is good. What work do you do? Does it have to do with basketball?”

“No, I’m just an ordinary student,” Zhen Li said, remembering the materials the System had given him. “Basketball is only a hobby.”

“Really?” You Zhengping said calmly. “Today is a weekday. Don’t you have class?”

Here came the choice! Zhen Li’s class schedule showed that he had many classes today, but instead he was amusing himself at the arcade. Should he acknowledge that he was cutting class, or should he find an excuse?

“I’m cutting class.” Zhen Li resolved to gain the man’s faith with sincerity. “Maybe I had some mystical sense that I would meet you today, and that’s why I came to the arcade.”

You Zhengping: “…”

No good, he couldn’t control his impulse to beat this person up anymore.

Cen Xiao was just then reporting the circumstances to their superiors. When he received permission, he said to You Zhengping, “Boss, the higher authorities have approved you to take him alive!”

After all this time, You Zhengping had finally gotten permission. He pressed down on the back of Zhen Li’s neck with his palm. “Really? I also think it was fate!”

Then his palm firmly gripped Zhen Li. At the same time, his thoughts moved, and he released a space that only had enough room in it to contain one person, firmly trapping Zhen Li inside.

To prevent against Zhen Li using something like a spatial ability to escape, You Zhengping’s hand was also closed up in the space.

“Done,” You Zhengping said.

Cen Xiao and the others charged into the restroom and saw that You Zhengping’s right hand had vanished in midair. Shi Yongfu waved his hand a few times in the place where You Zhengping’s right hand had been, saying in wonder, “Are Zhen Li and your hand here?”

“Yes,” You Zhengping said, frowning, “he’s using a heat weapon to attack my hand. It hurts a little. Let’s hurry back to the base!”

“Why can’t we see your hand or touch it, if it’s still in the same place?” Shi Yongfu asked.

“It’s a parallel space. Things I put in the spaces exist in a space and time parallel to us. It’s not that I create an invisible space, it’s that I open a space separate from this world,” You Zhengping explained with some satisfaction.

And all abilities would be weakened to less than one tenth of their power in his spaces. Zhen Li, trapped in the space, seemed to be attacking his hand with a gun. With the restriction of the space, You Zhengping only felt a slight pain. He wasn’t seriously injured.

Despite this, if Zhen Li used too fearsome a weapon, You Zhengping’s hand might still not be able to withstand it. They had to return to the base as soon as possible.

Director Xiao had ordered them to do their best to take the Destroyer alive. Their world had been safe for fifteen years. A Destroyer appearing again meant that something was wrong. They had to think of a way to learn the reason from the Destroyer.

Even though Destroyers who were questioned might commit suicide, they still had to try.

They quickly took Zhen Li back to the base. This was an underground base that could withstand a nuclear bomb. Director Xiao and other formerly illustrious Protectors put on face-changing masks and nodded to You Zhengping. You Zhengping opened his space, letting Zhen Li out.

At this moment, Zhen Li’s rather good-looking face was covered in tears. He was too careless. How could a world where all the levelers had been lost be so simple to solve? It was a trap, it was all a trap!

He looked hatefully at the handsome uncle who had caught him. “Who are you people? I don’t have any money. Why did you kidnap me?”

Zhen Li knew that the Chief Deity didn’t permit levelers to tell the worlds’ natives about the System. If the levelers were questioned, the device the Chief Deity had planted in their heads would force them to commit suicide. So he had had to pretend that he didn’t know anything. He absolutely couldn’t reveal his identity!

Everyone: “…”

Was this person stupid?

The handsome uncle You Zhengping sighed and raised his injured hand, saying, “I used a space to catch you, and you used a heat weapon to shred my hand to bits. At this point, are you still pretending to be an ordinary person?”

Director Xiao shook his head. This was the worst grade of Destroyer he had ever seen. It was fortunate You Zhengping’s performance had far surpassed his imagination. Each time he saw You Zhengping and Yu Hua together, Director Xiao would think that perhaps this Protector that the country had focused on educating was already past his prime. But the abilities You Zhengping had demonstrated in this action were admirable. It seemed he was only an idiot in love. He was stupid in front of Yu Hua, but the rest of the time he was quite normal.

“You already know my identity?” Zhen Li said hopelessly. “How could you know my identity? Did that final big boss send you? I’m really stupid, I thought you were there to give me a clue. I didn’t think you were an enemy. Of course it’s a final mission, how could a newbie like me pass? I’m a goner, boo-hoo…”

He couldn’t take the pressure anymore and began to wail.

Everyone: “…”

—

While the Protectors joined forces to grill Zhen Li, Yu Hua, at home, had used all his strength to make dinner and was waiting quietly for You Zhengping to come home when he received a message from You Zhengping: The public security bureau is short on field personnel. We’re going to help. I’m working overtime today. I may not come home.

Yu Hua put down his phone and looked at the table full of food, feeling a little sad.

From the time when they had gotten married to now, You Zhengping had always been idle, arriving home precisely on time. He had never worked overtime.

Yu Hua thought, He must think I’m under too much stress. He’s voluntarily requested overtime to earn extra money.

It was because Yu Hua was useless.

As Yu Hua was reflecting bitterly, his new phone lit up. A familiar interface appeared spontaneously on the phone.

Yu Hua unlocked the phone and saw a mission prompt: A leveler has been captured by locals. Clearer 001 is requested to destroy/rescue this leveler as soon as possible, or else the System will use the arrested leveler to publicize Clearer 001’s identity in this world. The time limit is 24 hours.

Author’s Note
You Zhengping: We Protectors have received specialized training. No matter how sad we are, we won’t cry. Unless we can’t resist.