My Beloved Fool - Chap 100
Chapter 100: Done with feeling sorry for oneself
Li Xuan’s face was particularly ugly. He growled, “Are you mentally ill? Can’t you see what he means? If it works, what are so many people committing suicide in the world? Can you save your face? Give our old Li Family a little respect? Is h.o.m.os.e.xuality a long-faced affair?”
Li Yu hung his lips tightly, and his face was terribly white.
He had never suffered such humiliation in his life, whether from Jian Sui Ying or his eldest brother. In his first twenty-one years of life, he lived carefully, so that people could not pick out his faults. But now he must be mentally ill. Otherwise, how could he come in such a low voice to ask a man to change his mind and fight with a man he despises like a fxcking bxtch?
But he still didn’t want to go out of the door, and he still couldn’t get Jian Sui Ying into the hands of others. Compared with humiliation and humiliation, and Jian Sui Ying’s fear of strangers has triumphed over everything since then.
Jian Sui Ying doesn’t want to go back any more. If he lets go like this, they’ll be like that all their lives. He can’t accept it. He really can’t accept it.
Li Xuan looked at Li Yu, who stood there frozen, motionless. He sighed heavily and said slowly to Jian Sui-Ying, “Li Yu has talked to me about a lot of things… It is the responsibility of our Li Family failure to educate him well. I’ll take him away, and you won’t have to meet again. You’ll save your mind, and we’ll save our mind.”
Jian Sui Ying looked at Li Yu, who was lost in his soul, and turned his head. Li Yu did not shy away from looking at Jian Sui Ying, his eyes could not see the bottom.
Li Xuan felt very tired. For Li Yu’s sake, he has already delayed his work for several days. He scrambles around to squeeze out such a few days and then goes back after the fifteenth year. Now that he can’t drag on, he must go back to Beihai. But how can he rest a.s.sured of his brother’s appearance and the gloomy clouds in his family?
He pushed Li Yu, he whispered: “Go.”
Li Yu did not move.
“Let’s go.” Li Xuan pushed him hard again. “Li Yu!”
Li Yu shook his fist, took a deep look at Jian Sui Ying and turned to the door.
Li Xuan gave Jian Sui Ying a silent look and followed him.
Jian Sui Ying looked at the empty corridor and closed the door.
He slowly moved back to the sofa, lit his cigarette, and then cried, “Xiao Zhu, you come out.”
Xiao Zhu opened the door and stepped out. His face showed no joy or sorrow, as if with countless helplessness.
Jian Sui Ying laid his elbow on his knee, fingers crossed over his forehead, and gently rubbed his temple.
Xiao Zhu whispered, “They’re gone.”
“Gone.”
Xiao Zhu stood at a loss and looked at him. It took him a long time to choke up a sentence, “Do you want to eat?”
“I don’t want to eat.” Jian Sui Ying was restless and said in a loud voice, “I don’t want to eat anything!”
Xiao Zhu shivered and dared not speak.
Jian Sui Ying held his head for a long time and said in a mute voice, “I can’t stay with you all the time. I have to find something to do. Besides, Li Yu knows I’m here. I don’t know if I’ll bother you again, so I’ll move back in two days.
Xiao Zhu opened his mouth and his eyes were red.
Jian Sui Ying raised his head and looked at Xiao Zhu’s grieving expression, feeling a little bit unbearable.
“Come on, sit down, and don’t stand.”
Xiao Zhu sat beside him and looked at him intently. “You’re leaving.”
He’s finally leaving. Although I knew it would happen, it was much faster than he thought. He wished that such a day would last one more day, or one more.
Jian Sui Ying threw his cigarette into the ashtray and whispered, “Xiao Zhu, that girl today, loves you very much.”
Xiao Zhu blinked and nodded gently.
“I don’t mean to break up my friendship with you when I move back. I want to see you if I want to. We can live as long as we can, even if we share, I will not care if you have difficulties in the future you can look for me if you need help. But that’s the most. I’m not a long-term person, you know.”
Xiao Zhu, with tears in his eyes, nodded silently. How could he not understand that he was not the one who could keep Jian Sui Ying heart?
“I don’t know what’s going on in your family, but generally speaking, one day you’ll have to get married and have children. You weigh it yourself. If you’re willing to be with me. I’m willing to keep you, but I don’t want you to delay my things or me yours.” Jian Sui Ying can see that Xiao Zhu likes him. He has seen such admiration in many people’s eyes. As a result, he felt cheapened. He just looked at one who disdains him.
If he were someone else, he would not feel anything. There are so many people in the world who can’t get what they want, and so many people who like him. He is too lazy to give even a little pity.
But Xiao Zhu is different in his mind. He really misses his companionship and really pities him. This boy is kind and gentle, regardless of whether he has other plans or not, at least he is wholeheartedly good, Jian Sui Ying’s hooliganism style, he cannot bear to use it for him. He felt Xiao Zhu was not gay, and he didn’t want to delay him.
Xiao Zhu wanted to cry sadly, but he wiped away his tears and said with a faint smile, “Master Jian, I understand.”
Jian Sui Ying was stunned. He carefully measured the phrase “Master Jian” and felt that it was not a good thing at all.
Xiao Zhu calmly said, “That girl is actually… my mother introduced to me as my girlfriend. I don’t hate her. She needs to be taken care of in Beijing, so I take care of her. We… Look ahead and see if it’s appropriate… We got married early over there, but I still think she’s too young to tell others right now…” Xiao Zhu said that the more he could not grasp the center of gravity, the more chaotic his heart had become, and he could not speak any more. He looked at his palm in amazement and said, “I’m not sure about the future…”
Jian Sui Ying touched his head and said softly, “If you get married, I’ll give you a big red envelope.”
Xiao Zhu withstood the upsurge of sourness and choked back his tears.
Two days later, Jian Sui Ying moved out of Xiao Zhu apartment. He didn’t return to the apartment he had tangled with Li Yu, nor to any other property. Instead, he moved back to his home.
He remembered that when he moved out of the house, he should be in his first year of high school. He first lived in school dormitory. After a semester, he found that it was so nice to be outside and live and screw who he wanted. So he moved out. More than a decade later, he moved back to the place where he was born and raised.
Several of the servants in the family who grew up with him were very happy. They took care of this and tidied it up for him. Jian Sui Ying thought he was staying at home this time. He had lived for several years, and decided not to let Zhao Yan and Jian Sui Lin smear his house.
Moving has been busy all day.
In the old apartment in the city, he had most of the things he used to use, and he had them all moved back.
He won’t go back there. Even Li Yu can’t find him. As for how to deal with the house, he hasn’t thought about it yet. Let’s just leave it there. Every time he drove there, he would think of the foolish years he spent to warn himself.
Having settled down here, Jian Sui Ying looked out the window at the rare warm sun and decided to go and see his mother resting place.
He usually goes three or four times a year. Birthdays and anniversaries he must go there. Sometimes during Qingming also he goes, or thinks about it. For example, today is not a day he would usually go, he just want to see.
He changed into a black suit and drove out of the cemetery.
The pace of the city’s development is too fast, but everybody’s land prices are rising to the golden heights. Jian Sui Ying is really worried that one day the city planner will plan to come to this cemetery.
Anyway, it’s still calm here.
He took a bottle of his mother’s favorite wine, sat down at his mother’s grave and drank a gla.s.s of alcohol with her.
The cemetery plot next to his mother was bought by his father, probably because of his guilt for his wife. His father planned to sleep with his mother when he grew too old to live on.
Now Jian Sui Ying felt that it’s better to leave it to himself when he is too old to live on. A piece of land as small as a hundred thousand yuan can’t be wasted. If you think about it, the mother would not want to let the man who betrayed her stay with her for a long time and disgust her. It’s better to let her favorite son accompany her by being buried next to her grave.
Jian Sui Ying drank two gla.s.ses of alcohol and whispered, “Mom, I came to see you. It’s not a day I would have normally come, but I missed you. I fell in love a while ago, but then I blew it off again. Hey, that’s all. I’ll never think about love again. It’s no use. Business also got scammed a handful, but it’s okay, your son, is born fighter and will have a resurgence. You don’t have to worry about me. I don’t know how you’re doing there. If you have lived to now, when I grow up, you can make me be filial to you. What are you leaving me so early? If people say I’m not a good person, it’s your fault that you didn’t care about me and left me here all alone.”
Jian Sui Ying’s tears fell uncontrollably. For so many years, he hasn’t cried at any unfortunate event, and he doesn’t know what happened this time.
In fact, he did not really want to cry, for more than ten years, intense emotions have faded, he is really embarra.s.sed to let people know, no mother this matter, let him a big man, feel unfair.
Compared with most people, his Jian Sui Ying is really windy and rainy. He has to be proud of his life every day. How can he envy those who are nothing because he has no mother? It’s a joke.
Jian Sui Ying wiped his face with his sleeve and stopped talking about his own affairs. Instead, he talked about some family matters, especially Bai Xin Yu’s news, with great care.
He didn’t drive away until it was getting dark and a bottle of alcohol was almost finished.
While in the car, he called Li Wen Xun.
These days were spent thinking, he has a rough idea.
“h.e.l.lo, Sui Ying!” Li Wen Xun’s voice was full of surprises. “Where are you hiding? Several brothers are looking for you. Can you fxcking use this fall as an excuse? Who hasn’t had a fall in his life?”
Jian Sui Ying smiled and said, “What’s wrong with me taking a break? Don’t think so. Wen, did you tell me in the last two months that you wanted to work with me on a guarantor company?
“Come on,” said Li Wen Xun. “After I entered the Ministry of Commerce, I had been thinking about this idea for a long time, but I never found a partner. If I want to make a big job, are you going to do something about it? ”
“Well, I’ve had enough rest. I have to earn money. Otherwise, who will feed me and who will feed my people? Well, let’s make an appointment for a meal and have a chat.”