My Little Poplar - Chap 72

Bai Xinyu slumped to the ground, fumbling with his hands for dry food and mineral water, he had already eaten and drunk half of it, did that mean the test was almost over? His mind was already a bit foggy but in a blur, he suddenly remembered what Huo Qiao had said outside, Huo Qiao had said, this would be the test with the highest elimination rate and he didn’t believe him…

No one who has never experienced it can understand the physical and psychological devastation of this enclosed, dark space, the infinite darkness, the suffocating loneliness, shatters Bai Xinyu’s psychological defences, he watches as the darkness engulfs him and there is nothing he can do about it. He began to have visions, uncontrollable visions of ghosts and monsters hiding in the darkness, watching him, ready to drag him to hell in a place where no one knew he was, where everything he had experienced before could become a twisted nightmare and gradually he was afraid to think about the good memories, because thinking about them could end up in his mind because the thought of it could end up in his mind as a bloody scene. His body was filled with despair, loneliness and pain, he banged his body against the wall, he drowned his head in the water filled sink, he screamed his head off, he didn’t know if he had gone mad.

When the hell are we going to got out of here? Dad, Mum, Brother, do you miss me? Then come and see me, talk to me, one word will do… Yu Fengcheng, what are you doing? Are you crazy too? Maybe you’ve given up, is this something I can take… If you’ve already given up, why am I still holding on?

Bai Xinyu lunged at the door, banging on it and hissed: “I can’t stand it! I give up! He cried and shouted, at the end he could not make a sound but the door was still closed, it separated him from the other world, it became his enemy, he lifted his marching bed, he slammed it against the door, the loud banging and scraping of metal pierced his ears The sound of the crash and the scraping of metal hurt his eardrums but he liked the sound, it made him feel alive.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been in there, he falls asleep again, wakes up and keeps going, over and over again. Not only does he hallucinate, he even starts to hear and see, even though he can’t see anything, he sometimes lies in bed mumbling, sometimes jumping and shouting like a madman, sometimes crying and begging to be let out.

Why? Why wasn’t he let out when he’d already said he’d give up? Wasn’t he being watched? How could he have chosen to abstain? Huo Qiao wouldn’t lie to them, what should he do? What should he do?, That’s right… That’s right… let himself get hurt… He didn’t believe that the people watching him could just watch him die!

He jumped off the bed, took a deep breath, slammed his head against the wall, there was a thud, he bounced back on the bed with the force of the impact, the back of his head hit the other wall, he held his head, rolled twice on the bed, cried out in pain.

It hurt too much… He couldn’t take it anymore, he didn’t dare to hit it, his head seemed to bleed, his skin was on fire, he felt like he was spinning around.

He lay in bed for a long time, the impact, apart from the slight concussion, cleared his muddled mind a little, he knew he was acting like a psychopath, he was aware of it, maybe he hadn’t gone completely mad?

After a few days of breakdown, the pain made him realise he couldn’t got out of here by cutting himself and most importantly, he realised he shouldn’t have cut himself, how could he hurt himself? He wants to got out alive, he wants to feel the sun again, he wants to go home, he wants to see his family and Yu Fengcheng, he doesn’t want to become a madman, he should find a way to keep his sanity, not give up on himself!

Bai Xinyu lies flat on his back, trying to adjust his breathing, trying to relieve his stress, to hold himself together as long as he can, he’s running out of food and water, he must be able to got out of here soon!