My Little Poplar - Chap 82

Yu Fengcheng took a few steps over to him, took him into his arms and whispered softly in his ear: “Xinyu, I’m sorry.” There was so much in that “I’m sorry”, there was more than one thing he felt sorry for Bai Xinyu but in the end, he could only say “I’m sorry”.

Bai Xinyu closed his eyes, it was the first time he had heard an apology from Yu Fengcheng but the words did not comfort him, they made him feel endlessly sad. What was there to apologise for? The problem between them is not solved by apologies, who they like, who they don’t like, no solution.

Yu Fengcheng said in a muffled voice: “Xinyu, I’m sorry… for many things, I shouldn’t have said anything about your brother. I shouldn’t have said anything about your brother, I shouldn’t have hit you, I shouldn’t have even… I shouldn’t have helped you come to the Snowleopard brigade, this is not the place for you, why did you save me… You shouldn’t have to suffer this…”

Bai Xinyu would love to tell Yu Fengcheng, if it was any other soldier, he would have rushed out, although he now has to endure daily pain and inconvenience but if he had to do it again, others he might hesitate but Yu Fengcheng he wouldn’t, he would have traded his shoulder wound for the uncertainty of what would hit Yu Fengcheng for a bullet in a place he doesn’t know where it will hit him, it’s worth it. The feelings are gone, the comradeship is still there, he has no regrets.

Besides, some things really do take a life or death experience to understand, if this hadn’t happened, how long would he have felt about Yu Fengcheng? It’s a good thing, he can finally make up his mind.

Bai Xinyu pushed Yu Fengcheng away, pulled out his phone to write something but doesn’t know what to write, what should he say? He had nothing more to say to Yu Fengcheng…

Yu Fengcheng took his hand and said, “Xinyu, you asked me if I liked the Lieutenant, I’ve been thinking about it, I didn’t dare to think about it before, I didn’t want to think about it, that’s why I said I didn’t know, I really didn’t know, whether my admiration and attention for him was like that or not, I’ve had my eyes on him since I was a kid, I don’t know what it is anymore. But one thing I know for sure, I never wanted to kiss him or hug him, I only wanted to do these things with you, I think, it’s you I like.”

Bai Xinyu’s heart fluttered, his breathing became a little shortness. He hadn’t expected Yu Fengcheng to say this, despite the uncertainty in his voice but in all the time they had been together, there had never been a confession or a promise, maybe he was too embarrassed to say it, maybe he hadn’t thought about the future, or maybe it was because, he didn’t know what Yu Fengcheng had in mind, So, he didn’t want to appear to be wishful thinking. He had been expecting a decent word from Yu Fengcheng but now that he had heard it, he could not be happy, he believed that Yu Fengcheng had some feelings for him but they were never as deep as his feelings for Huo Qiao, even Yu Fengcheng did not know what he thought of Huo Qiao, how could he, an outsider, know? Even Yu Fengcheng couldn’t see what he really thought of Huo Qiao, how could he, an outsider, see it? To him, if a person’s heart is not entirely in him, then for whatever reason and with whom, it is the same, it is all the same unacceptable. He took a deep breath and typed on his phone: What do you feel for the Lieutenant, I really don’t care anymore, I’m going home, you take care.

Yu Fengcheng’s eyes reddened and he said, “Xinyu, you are as irreplaceable in my heart as anyone else, the Lieutenant was in a worse situation than you, that’s why I…” He realised that his defence was too pale, he couldn’t go on, he just held Bai Xinyu’s hand tightly, he didn’t want to let go of it, he had done it once, he wouldn’t do it again.

Bai Xinyu’s heart is aching, he can’t hold on any longer.

Yu Fengcheng lifted his face, his deep eyes locked into his and said, “Xinyu, I know you blame me but it won’t be over between us, give me time, I’ll go back to you and then I won’t let you down again.”