Sissy (Niang Niang Qiang) - Chap 12
They sat side by side, while the midday sun was still shining so brightly it made one dizzy. Especially now that both of them were not only feeling hot on the outside, but their hearts were also beating so fast, making them burn from the inside out.
Li Chengxiu suddenly turned around and asked in a low voice, “Do you have a girlfriend too?”
This question was thoughtless. In terms of grammar it was a little ambiguous, so it wasn’t really clear how to answer it. But Shao Qun felt that he understood what Li Chengxiu meant.
He shrugged lightly. For some reason he wanted to avoid the key issue, so he replied with a simple: ”There is currently no girl that I like, anyway.”
Li Chengxiu said “oh” and looked down on the ground.
Shao Qun suddenly bumped into his shoulder.Li Chengxiu looked up and met his slightly playful eyes.
“Hey, did you think that woman right now looked pretty?”
Li Chengxiu’s face turned red.
Shao Qun pinched him: “Why do you blush so easily? You blush whenever I say anything. Your skin is thinner than a dumpling wrapper.”
Li Chengxiu said: “Watching…watching that kind of thing is not good.”
“Which guy our age hasn’t watched it? Do you live under a rock?”
Li Chengxiu pursed his lips, not knowing how to react.
“So do you think she was attractive?”
Li Chengxiu felt dizzy when he recalled the obscene images on TV. He didn’t dare to look at Shao Qun.
Shao Qun suddenly put his hand on his thigh, and asked with some hesitation, “Right here. Did you feel anything here?”
Li Chengxiu’s brain was buzzing. He immediately pushed Shao Qun’s hand and moved his body away in panic.
Stunned, Shao Qun stared at his hand. Then he immediately became angry: “What is this pretend-modesty? If you didn’t react, then you’re a eunuch!”
Aggrieved, Li Chengxiu said: “I’m not a eunuch.”
Shao Qun reached out to him, “Come here!”
Li Chengxiu glanced at him hesitantly, but still moved closer.
Shao Qun stuck his chin out and continued messing with Li Chengxiu: “Even if you are not a eunuch, then you’re too much of a sissy to even watch porn!.”
Li Chengxiu felt so anxious that even the tip of his nose became red. Being called a sissy hurt him the most. He hadn’t even had enough time yet to learn how to behave like a man but he was already labeled with this shameful word.
He had spent so much time around Shao Qun that he had forgotten how much he looked down on him, so Li Chengxiu didn’t bother to conceal his innermost self in front of him anymore and had revealed his most embarrassing sides. Now, this made Li Chengxiu feel ashamed and angry: “Don’t… don’t say that to me.”
Shao Qun shook his head and pretended to be casual, “Am I wrong? Are you even a man? You’re more beautiful than that woman on TV!”
As soon as these words came out, both of them were stunned.
Shao Qun’s head was buzzing with chaotic thoughts, and he didn’t know how to sort them all out. Was it him or Li Chengxiu who was supposed to be ashamed right now?
Li Chengxiu was both angry and sad. His face blushed, as he fiercely stared at Shao Qun and shouted on top of his lungs: “You bastard! You…you…Bastard!”
Shao Qun quickly withdrew his hand, looking at Li Chengxiu’s red angry eyes, and felt a little regretful. He touched his soft hair and smoothed it out for him: “Okay, okay. I’m just talking out of my ass. You don’t have to be so mad.”
Li Chengxiu tried to avoid his hand by turning away from him. He sulked, his lips tightly pressed together.
Shao Qun continued petting his hair, as he softly said, “Don’t be angry. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I just said it as it is – you’re indeed prettier than that woman.”
Li Chengxiu turned around to give Shao Qun a vicious look.
Shao Qun looked at his pitiful appearance with his small nose and small eyes and couldn’t help laughing. He pinched his smooth and silky face, as he sneered: “Just look at you! You’re pouting so much, one could hang two pounds of pork on your lips!”
Li Chengxiu slapped Shao Qun’s fingers away while staring at him.
Shao Qun grabbed his hand in response and looked deeply into his bright and clear eyes.
Li Chengxiu suddenly held his breath. He quietly looked right back at him.
The two of them stared at each other for a long time – they didn’t even dare to breathe, as if even a little sound could ruin this delicate atmosphere.
It was really hot outside. So hot in fact that both of them were really dizzy. Many years later, when they recalled this moment, they were still not quite certain who made the first move.
When the two pairs of trembling lips finally came together, both of them were instantly overwhelmed by this forbidden sweetness that left their minds completely blank.
The soft, warm touch was really beautiful, intoxicating, and unforgettable. Neither of them dared to make any rash moves, for fear that it was just an illusion that would shatter the moment it was touched. Gently and cautiously, with their eyes closed, they were absorbing each other’s warmth through this small connection point.
Both of them were focused on that feeling of being intoxicated just by this light touch, by this kind of satisfactory sweetness. At that moment, they didn’t realize that they would eventually have to wake up from that sweet but fleeting dream.
The door to the rooftop flew open but the two boys were too distracted to notice it. None of them heard anything until loud cursing tore them out of their little world.
They turned around and saw the three boys – Li Wenxun was standing in the door in total confusion, the cigarettes in Big Li’s hands fell to the ground, as he looked at the scene in front of him with a startled expression.
Shao Qun felt his blood rushing in his ears, as he quickly pushed Li Chengxiu away and jumped up from the ground.
Li Chengxiu stabilized his body with his elbows and looked up. He would never forget the expression on Shao Qun’s face at that time.
It was like he had just woken up from a dream and was looking at an enemy.
“Fuck… this…what are you doing… what the fuck…” The three boys were shocked and incoherent.
Shao Qun’s face was pale, and his legs were weak, barely holding him up. When he realized what he had just done, he broke out in a cold sweat.
Li Wenxun stepped forward and fiercely grabbed his arm: “What the fuck is wrong with you? Shao Qun, what the hell are you doing?”
Shao Qun turned around to look at Li Chengxiu, who also looked whiter than a sheet of paper. At that moment, he felt that Li Chengxiu’s usual weak appearance was no longer pitiful but rather dazzling: “I… I don’t know, I… I am not…not gay…I’m not.”
Xiao Sheng, who rarely even said anything, suddenly rushed over, picked Li Chengxiu up by his collar and slammed him against the wall, saying coldly: “Of course you are not. This sissy is, though. Admit it, did you seduce Shao Qun??”
Li Chnegxiu’s simple mind couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of that word.
Big Li cursed: “It’s exactly as I told you before – this sissy really is gay! It’s fucking disgusting! A-wen, you were right! People like him are only thinking about hooking up with men all day long. Shao Qun was just being nice to him, and he used this opportunity…Damn, I’ll fucking kill him today.” Big Li ran up to him and kicked Li Chengxiu to the ground.
Xiao Sheng also gave him a slap: “Bah, what’s the difference between hitting him and hitting a woman? But we can’t go easy on this sissy.”
Li Chengxiu covered his burning cheeks and looked at Shao Qun with his clear eyes without blinking. Shao Qun guiltily turned away.
Li Wenxun kicked Li Chengxiu’s shoulder and scolded him: “You damn sissy, you stinky shemale! Give you an inch, and you take a mile! How dare you seduce my bro? How shameless are you?”
Big Li echoed his sentiment: “This creature is just too disgusting! He may look like a man but do you think he actually has a dick?”
Li Wenxun smiled maliciously: “How can we be sure without checking?”
Li Chengxiu looked at them in horror: “You…”
Big Li leaped towards him and started taking off his pants.
Li Chengxiu screamed in fright, pressing himself into the wall. He couldn’t help calling out: “Shao Qun, Shao…”
Xiao Sheng frowned and slapped him on the mouth before he could say another word. “Don’t call him by his name again! Shao Qun is different from you, and you don’t deserve to say his name.” he warned.
Shao Qun looked conflicted. His eyes were red, and he seemed to be frozen in place, as he just stared at Li Chengxiu.
Seeing Shao Qun’s indifference, Li Chengxiu’s heart instantly dropped, and he started crying. He shrunk helplessly in the corner, looking at the four boys in front of him in shock and fear. All of them were taller and stronger than him. They all looked at him with expressions of disgust and hatred, as if they wished they could swallow him alive.
He didn’t understand what he did wrong. Everything was fine just moments ago – why did all of this happen in a blink of an eye?
He didn’t seduce Shao Qun. What did that even mean?
He wasn’t gay. He didn’t know what these boys were talking about.
Shao Qun finally pulled Big Li and Xiao Sheng away from Li Chengxiu and whispered: “Let’s go. It’s enough. Let’s just go.”
Li Wenxun gave Shao Qun a complicated look, put his clothes back in order and straightened out.
Shao Qun lowered his head and moved towards the door without turning around. He didn’t dare to look at Li Chengxiu, as he desperately tried to ignore his shrill cries.
Big Li spat at Li Chengxiu, gave him a contemptuous look and turned to follow Shao Qun.
Xiao Sheng pointed at the tip of Li Chengxiu’s nose and warned him, “If you dare tell anybody about what happened today, or if you dare implicate Shao Qun in any way, you will be in serious shit.”
Li Chengxiu trembled all over, tears streaming down his face, as he watched the boys leave. Finally, he hesitantly whispered: “I didn’t seduce him. I’m not gay.”
Shao Qun couldn’t endure it any longer – he turned around and glanced at Li Chengxiu’s tear-stained face. His heart suddenly tightened, and he almost fled away from this small rooftop, leaving many of his memories behind.
After their figures disappeared into the stairwell, Li Chengxiu cried for a while holding his head.
Punches and kicks that the boys had delivered to Li Chengxiu didn’t seem to bring them any relief.
Since that day, Shao Qun had been absent from school, and he refused to appear in front of anybody.
Li Wenxun and Big Li were not happy about it, so they instructed Li Chengxiu’s classmates to make things difficult for him. Li Chengxiu’s school life became an absolute hell.
His desk, textbooks, and workbooks were covered in insults. During class, someone openly threw chalk at him, while the teacher was completely indifferent.
Ugly rumors quickly spread throughout the campus. He was no longer just a weak sissy but rather a shameless, disgusting, and scary homosexual. Although at the time, very few people actually understood what homosexuality even meant, it was still enough of a reason to bully Li Chengxiu. Going to school every day became a torture for him. Even if he kept next to the wall and avoided everyone, he would still often be humiliated for no reason. This made it actually impossible to study productively.
Just three or four days seemed like a year.
One afternoon, after classes were over, he received a note from his classmate.
He opened it and saw a message written in Shao Qun’s handwriting, asking him to come meet him at the teaching building after school that day.
Li Chengxiu gritted his teeth and crumpled the note, hesitating in his heart.
He didn’t know when exactly he started to rely on Shao Qun so much that he actually hoped for him to show up and save him. But Shao Qun’s indifference that day really chilled his heart. He wasn’t sure whether he should meet Shao Qun or not.
After thinking about it, he stayed in the classroom, watching the sky slowly turn dark.
It was a secret hope that forced him to stay. Sitting in a dark and empty classroom, he fantasized that Shao Qun would give him an explanation or even a little comfort.
He had been so exhausted the past few days that he fell asleep on his desk while waiting for Shao Qun to show up. When he woke up from the cold and looked out the window, it was already dark outside.
The empty classroom with swaying ceiling fans and gloomy blackboards seemed so terrifying in the dark.
Li Chengxiu shuddered. He wanted to turn on the lights and look at the clock that was hanging on the wall.
However, after school was out, the power to the entire teaching building had been cut. It was pitch dark and deadly quiet. Only the dim moonlight entered through the windows.
Li Chengxiu opened the classroom door in a hurry. He looked at the empty corridor. It was an endless path of darkness that extended into nowhere. His legs felt weak, and he could only manage to walk towards the stairs while heavily leaning against the wall.
There was no moonlight in the stairwell, so it was even darker than the classroom. Li Chengxiu could only take blind steps, while holding onto the handrail.
Usually it took him less than a minute to leave the small four-story building but right now, it seemed to be the longest road he ever had to walk in his life.
He felt trapped in the darkness with four white walls surrounding him. It seemed there was an unknown beast hidden in the dark that was about to swallow him at any moment. He didn’t know what was behind him and what was in front of him. His hand fumbled around with the handrail, not sure what he’ll touch the next second. His imagination ran wild, and he managed to scare himself silly.
Li Chengxiu knew that he had been tricked. He was angry, hateful, and sad in his heart. Now that he was completely alone in a huge teaching building, all his feelings of helplessness, fear, and grief were infinitely magnified. When he finally reached the first floor, his legs were shaking, his eyes felt blurred, and he was sweating profusely.
The exit on the first floor was indeed already locked, but fortunately it was an iron gate, not a solid door. Li Chengxiu grabbed the bars and shouted loudly, sticking his face into the gap: “Is anybody here? Anyone at all?”
His loud shouts echoed eerily in the empty campus, which made Li Chengxiu even more afraid.
After a full ten minutes of shouting, a ray of light finally appeared from the direction of the school gate. A man with a flashlight was trotting over towards him.
Li Chengxiu cried, “Campus police shūshu, hurry up and let me out of here!”
The campus policeman shouted at him from a distance, “Student, did something happen? Why are you still here? Why didn’t you go home after school?”
Li Chengxiu didn’t know how to explain his situation, so he just waited quietly for the man to come over and open the door for him.
The campus policeman shone a flashlight in Li Chengxiu’s face and smiled strangely: “Oh, it’s you.”
Could be that because the word “homosexual” was so new and unheard of in this closed social environment, it was all everyone could talk about at that time. Thus, Li Chengxiu was a well-known topic of conversation in school.
Li Chengxiu felt ashamed. He wiped his tears and whispered, “Thank you, campus police shūshu.”
The man raised his hand and looked at his watch: “It’s past ten pm. What are you doing here so late?”
“It’s already past ten o’clock?” Li Chengxiu choked, “I… I fell asleep.”
Of course, the man didn’t believe him. After giving it some thought, he had an idea what had happened. He turned around, opened the gate and asked, “How are you going to get home?”
Li Chengxiu was stunned: “I don’t know… There are no more buses at this time.”
The campus policeman shook his head: “That’s right. Where do you live?”
Li Chengxiu answered, and the man’s eyes widened in shock, “That far? If you walk, you’d only be home at dawn.”
Li Chengxiu sniffed and nodded, feeling sad and wanting to cry again.
The policeman waved his hand: “Forget it! I’ll be a good person and take you back on a bicycle. That’ll be faster, eh?”
Li Chengxiu raised his head gratefully: “Really… really? Thank you, campus police shūshu!”
The campus policeman looked at Li Chengxiu’s fair little face and raised the corners of his mouth in a crooked smile.