Sissy (Niang Niang Qiang) - Chap 55
Chapter 55
As soon as Shao Qun heard Li Shuo’s name, he looked like he had stepped into dog shit.
He frowned with some uneasiness, neither saying yes nor no, and just looked at Li Chengxiu.
Seeing his expression, Li Chengxiu knew what’s up, and his body trembled with anger.
“How…how could you…”
Originally, Shao Qun wanted to pretend that he had nothing to do with anything but as soon as he realized that Li Chengxiu had easily seen right through him, his horrible nature was revealed. He craned his neck and disdainfully said: “I didn’t castrate him, so he got off lightly.”
Li Chengxiu was so angry that his eyes darkened. He spat out through his teeth:”Go away.”
Shao Qun was stunned for a moment, and his face showed a bit of desolation. He lowered his head and crushed a cigarette butt on the ground with his foot. In a muffled voice he said, “He’s not coming back anytime soon, so you guys should break it off before it’s too late.”
Li Chengxiu held his briefcase tightly to his chest. He took a step back and said in a trembling voice, “It has nothing to do with you!” As soon as he said that, he was about to pass Shao Qun to enter the building.
Shao Qun blocked his path, staring straight at him. He felt that Li Chengxiu had lost some weight yet again, and his face looked tired. Shao Qun couldn’t help reaching out to touch it.
Li Chengxiu quickly took a step back.
Shao Qun’s hand awkwardly stopped in the air, and he finally just dropped it in dismay.
He continued blocking Li Chengxiu, as he gritted through his teeth,”Tell me, what’s so good about Li Shuo? I can do anything he can do.”
Li Chengxiu shook his head coldly: “Go away.”
Shao Qun propped his hand on one side of the wall and looked at Li Chengxiu with some urgency: “Just tell me what it is, and I will do it! What exactly is he capable of? I don’t believe it’s so special. I can treat you better than him, really! Chengxiu, now that he’s gone, let’s start all over again, okay?”
Li Chengxiu felt a burst of sadness in his heart.
The person in front of him didn’t even realize that he was hurting others left and right. All he cared about was achieving his goals, which he stubbornly did step by step. He only thought of himself, and nobody else even registered on his radar.
Shao Qun lived according to his own rules, disregarding whether others liked it or not. What did he care about hurting or stabbing somebody on his merry way?
Shao Qun pulled Li Chengxiu’s arm and kept asking unrelentingly how exactly was Li Shuo better than him.
Li Chengxiu shook his hand away and said coldly, “He respects me and won’t lie to me. You don’t even deserve to be compared to him.”
When Shao Qun heard this, his eyes suddenly turned red. He still couldn’t get used to Li Chengxiu, who was so gentle in his memory, saying harsh words to him and stabbing his heart with a knife over and over again.
In a hoarse voice he said: “I will also…I will also respect you. And I will not lie to you again. In the future, whatever you say goes. I will be damned, if I ever act like a jerk again.”
It was difficult for Shao Qun to make these lowly promises. He was a man whose ego was higher than the skies, and now he had been trapped by somebody like Li Chengxiu. It was as ridiculous as a tiger paying tribute to a rabbit. Even children would laugh at him, and Shao Qun was really embarrassed. But he knew very well that even though he could knock Li Chengxiu down with just one slap, Li Chengxiu could kill him with just one sentence. So what could he do?
These few words were difficult for Shao Qun to say, but in Li Chengxiu’s ears, they were too meaningless to even be mentioned.
He remembered how many nice things Shao Qun said to him when they had just met.
It was all “darling this” and “darling that” and “I like you so much”.
In the end, all of it turned out to be fake. And Li Chengxiu had foolishly taken it to heart.
People like him can’t afford to repeat their mistakes. Li Chengxiu had too little, and the price of making mistakes was too high.
When Shao Qun saw his expression, he knew that Li Chengxiu didn’t believe him at all.
He trapped Li Chengxiu in the corner of the building. Like a stubborn teenager, he didn’t want to let go. He needed to know why the person who rejected him didn’t like him and how he could make him like him again.
Li Chengxiu turned his face away, unwilling to look at Shao Qun, and whispered, “If you respect me, let me go home now.”
Shao Qun whispered, “Is this your home? Huh? So this is your home!” Shao Qun was reminded how Li Chengxiu had silently rejected everything at his house. And now he was actually calling Li Shuo’s place “home”!
Imagining that Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo lived their daily lives here was as painful as having his heart gouged out. And now, Li Chengxiu wanted to go back to his and Li Shuo’s “home” right in front of him!
Li Chengxiu stared at him alertly, clutching his briefcase to his chest, holding it in front of him like a shield.
Shao Qun felt that he could not exert any strength. He propped himself up with one hand on one side of Li Chengxiu, and his other hand was very close to his face. But he didn’t dare touch him.
He was afraid to see Li Chengxiu’s evasive expression if he tried to touch him.
Time passed by quietly, and the two of them didn’t speak or move for a while.
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu’s soft hair, and there was a sudden rush of viciousness in his heart.
He wanted to love him. He wanted to hold him in his arms. And as long as Li Chengxiu came back to him, he was willing to pull out his heart for him. He was willing to swallow his pride and forget all about Li Shuo.
But Li Chengxiu’s repeated indifference and alienation were driving him crazy.
He was not somebody who could control his temper. He didn’t want to scare Li Chengxiu, but he felt that the aggression in his body was about to burst out after being provoked by Li Chengxiu over and over again.
He felt a lot of pain in his heart, knowing that what he was about to say would only push Li Chengxiu farther away, but Shao Qun just couldn’t help saying it.
“Do you want that phony foreign devil to not be able to return to China for the rest of his life?”
Li Chengxiu was shocked and looked up at Shao Qun in astonishment.
The muscles on Shao Qun’s face were strained, and there was a flash of ruthlessness in his eyes: “Break up with him. If you break up with him, I won’t go after him again.”
Li Chengxiu’s eyes slowly turned red, and he said in a trembling voice, “Shao Qun, you are a monster.”
Shao Qun felt that there was a big hole in his heart, and the pain made him want to cry. He tried to endure it as much as he could: “Yes, I’m a fucking monster. And you are all such fucking good people. So it’s up to you to decide what is more important – your itsy-bitsy feelings or Li Shuo’s more than ten years of entrepreneurial efforts in China.”
Li Chengxiu’s eyes gradually became wet. He looked at Shao Qun, his vision blurred. The more he looked, the more blurred this person became and the more Li Chengxiu couldn’t even recognize him anymore.
How far will this man push him before he finally stops?
Li Chengxiu was tired of a life of uncertainty and fear. Shao Qun forced him into the corner again and again, and now he even used Li Shuo to threaten him.
“Shao Qun, I don’t owe you anything… why can’t you…”
Why can’t you just let me go?
Shao Qun glared at him: “Yes, you don’t owe me anything. But I owe you. So give me a chance, and I will compensate you, okay?”
Li Chengxiu lowered his head, sniffed, and said nothing.
Shao Qun said softly: “Chengxiu, I didn’t want to force you, really. But… but I can’t stand you being with him. I’ve never cared so much about anybody else in my life. All that I said is true. If you split up with him, I can provide you with everything that he can. Chengxiu, give me another chance, and I will give you the sun and the stars. Just give me another chance.”
Li Chengxiu bowed his head and still kept quiet.
He thought about his phone call with Li Shuo – he could clearly feel how distressed Li Shuo was.
His frustration and loss were so obvious, yet he still comforted Li Chengxiu.
Li Shuo was his benefactor. Could he watch his hard-earned career be destroyed by Shao Qun?
Li Chengxiu felt a shattering pain in his heart. He felt as if he had been drained from all his strength in one heartbeat. Hoarsely he said, “I will…break up with him.”
Shao Qun was stunned for a while. Then with a look of joy on his face he said: “Really? Chengxiu, you…”
Li Chengxiu slowly pushed Shao Qun away and whispered, “We will break up… So don’t make his life difficult anymore.”
At that moment, Shao Qun could hear that Li Chengxiu’s tone and expression were not quite right. However, he was too focused on being happy that Li Chengxiu was finally going to part with that Li bastard.
Shao Qun couldn’t help laughing: “I…Don’t worry, as long as you break up with him, I will not give him any trouble.”
Li Chengxiu looked at him indifferently: “You’re not lying, right?”
Shao Qun looked earnest and sincere: “I won’t lie to you ever again.”
Li Chengxiu nodded, turned around and walked upstairs.
Shao Qun hurriedly grabbed him: “Chengxiu…”
Li Chengxiu pulled his arm back: “Didn’t you say that you will respect me? Let go.”
Shao Qun choked and was speechless for a while. He dejectedly lowered his hand, but still asked, “Then when will you move out of here?”
Li Chengxiu’s eyes were empty: “Soon.”
Shao Qun said happily: “Just give me a call when you want to move, and I’ll prepare a place for you… Oh, don’t worry, you don’t have to stay with me. Everything will be according to your wishes. But you just have to let me take care of you, okay?”
Li Chengxiu didn’t comment on that and proceeded to go upstairs.
Shao Qun looked at his thin back almost obsessively, his heart beating like a drum.
Thinking that Li Chengxiu might very soon return to him, he was so excited that his fingertips slightly trembled.
As soon as Li Chengxiu came through the door, he sat down on the sofa and took out a thick book from his briefcase.
It was a second-hand book, which he had bought for three RMB at the bookstand on his way home from work.
Although it was used, it looked like new. The original owner might not have used it at all. The hardcover was very colorful, and there were words “Spoken English Crash Course” printed in gold on it.
Li Chengxiu looked at the cover and couldn’t help crying.
He didn’t know what to do with the book. He knew that he didn’t actually have the courage to cross the ocean and leave his country. But when he saw this book at the old book stand, he thought for a moment that, maybe, just maybe, English wasn’t that difficult. And maybe America wasn’t difficult either.
Except it was.
Was there any guarantee that he and Li Shuo could last for a long time? What was he supposed to do in a completely unfamiliar place, once he lost his only support?
Where would Li Chengxiu find the courage to banish himself to the edge of a cliff yet again?
He couldn’t leave the foundations of life in somebody else’s hands again. Once that person walked away, he would inevitably fall to pieces. This was the lesson that Shao Qun had taught him.
Li Chengxiu, who was usually very unwilling to throw anything out, put the book directly into the trash. He had made up his mind.
He picked up Teacup, kissed it on the tip of its nose and said, “I’m sorry, we’re moving again.”
The little Teacup pushed Li Chengxiu’s face away with his paw and whimpered.
Li Chengxiu was sick of moving. Even Teacup was barking unhappily when it saw him pack his things, as if the pup knew what was going on.
Li Chengxiu kept asking Teacup to be quiet but there was nothing he could do about the dog.
After packing up as fast as he could, Li Chengxiu sat behind the coffee table and wrote his resignation letter.
Li Chengxiu had always been a very efficient person, and he never procrastinated when he encountered problems. He quit his job the next day.
His boss didn’t say anything about Li Chengxiu’s hasty resignation out of respect for Li Shuo.
When he came back from work, Li Chengxiu called Adrian and told him that he was going home and that there was no need to be worried if Li Chengxiu didn’t contact him for a while.
Adrian was aware of what happened to Li Shuo, but he didn’t know that Li Chengxiu had no home to go back to. He thought Li Chengxiu was planning to visit his hometown before leaving the country and was happy for him: “I’ll come to America to have fun with you guys!”
Li Chengxiu was stunned, knowing that Adrian had misunderstood, but instead of explaining, he just bitterly hummed.
After the call, he sent a long text message to Li Shuo.
“Li-Dage, I’m sorry. I can’t go to the United States with you. I’m almost 30 now, and I don’t have the courage to start my life over in a foreign country. Thank you for taking care of me for so long. I can’t repay you, so I can only sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. You treated me really well. I will always remember that. I caused you a lot of trouble, and I hope you can forgive me for that. I’m planning to leave Shenzhen. After I leave, Shao Qun won’t bother you or me anymore. It’s for the best. I’ve let down your kindness, and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Please don’t worry about me. I have a relative who is doing business in another city. I’m planning to go to him. Li-Dage, I’m sorry that I can’t say goodbye to you face to face. I hope all the best for you, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Li Chengxiu pressed “send” with his uncontrollably trembling fingers, as tears ran down his face.
If only he had met Li Shuo first… things would have been so different.
After the message was delivered, Li Chengxiu took out the SIM card.
Early next morning, he headed to the long-distance bus station with Teacup and his few suitcases.
