Sissy (Niang Niang Qiang) - Chap 71

Chapter 71

Li Chengxiu looked at the thin piece of paper in surprise. It was the resignation letter he had handed in today: “You… how did you…?” Then suddenly he didn’t want to ask anymore. Figures that Shao Qun had a way to find these things out. So what if he asked? Li Chengxiu had been so proud of himself, thinking that his achievements at the company were actually the result of his own hard work. What if it turns out that these were also just handouts given to him by Shao Qun?

If it turned out that he was nothing without Shao Qun, how would he be able to go on?

Shao Qun crumpled the piece of paper, threw it at Li Chengxiu’s feet, stared at him with his red eyes and asked sternly, “Where are you going? Where do you want to go this time?”

Li Chengxiu took a step back, feeling weakness in his legs. He knew now that there was nowhere for him to go.

Shao Qun suddenly leaned over, fiercely hugged Li Chengxiu and hoarsely shouted at him: “Chengxiu…Where do you want to go? You want to leave me again, so that I can’t find you anymore. Why are you so fucking cruel?”

Li Chengxiu’s eyes were full of tears, and the desperate feeling in his heart could not be described in words.

Shao Qun’s voice trembled slightly: “I won’t let you go. You’re not going anywhere. You’re not leaving me again…”

Li Chengxiu said, shaking: “Shao Qun. You’re done here. I’m done too. Let’s just end it.”

Shao Qun roared, “I’m not fucking done! I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So where are you going?”

Li Chengxiu slowly pushed him away, then sat down on the sofa, feeling exhausted. He then choked:”Shao Qun,your words are so cheap.” This person told him that he liked him, told him that he was going to treat him well, told him that he was not getting married, told him that he was the only one… The same person then stepped on him. These promises were such flimsy and frivolous things…How could one believe in such things?

Even now, Shao Qun was so persistent in claiming his sincerity. But if he was so sincere in the first place, then why was he being so forceful in making Li Chengxiu accept him? Shao Qun was still the same Shao Qun, after all. He still thought that everything had to go according to his wishes. If he wanted to abandon Li Chengxiu, he would abandon him in a heartbeat. If he wanted to reconcile again, Li Chengxiu wouldn’t be allowed to say “no” and would be forced to accept his “care” and “sincerity”.

Why was that? In fact, Shao Qun had never even given him a choice. If Shao Qun said he didn’t want him, then that was it. But if he said he wanted him, then Li Chengxiu had to immediately come back. Shao Qun already owned a lot. Li Chengxiu had almost nothing. Could he at least keep the right of making his own decisions in life?

Shao Qun squatted beside Li Chengxiu’s legs and looked up at him: “Chengxiu, you hear my words, and you think they are cheap. Do you have any idea how much I’ve paid for these words that you describe as “cheap”? Do you know what I’ve traded to be able to give you this promise? I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. I’ve only ever liked you. In my entire life, this is the first time that I’ve lost somebody I love. So, of course, I am disheartened and I have no idea what to do. I’m just trying to get close to you, trying to look at you and tell you over and over again that I know that I was wrong and that I can still change and that I hope you can give me another chance…Other than that, I don’t know what to do. If I need to do something else, just teach me. I’m willing to do whatever you ask of me. I’m not going to get married, I won’t let anyone bully you, even my own family. I will listen to whatever you say. You can even tell me to die. Just teach me what I should do, so we can go back!”

Li Chengxiu said hoarsely: “What if I tell you… to let me go?”

Shao Qun’s vision gradually blurred, and his heart was in so much pain that he almost lost consciousness. He heard his own voice as if it was coming from somewhere far away, “That’s the one thing I can’t do.”

Li Chengxiu held back his tears, took a deep breath and said: “Shao Qun. You said that you respect me. But when have you ever… taken my feelings into consideration? When you moved next door to me… did you ask me what I thought about it? Did you ask my opinion… when you intervened in my work life? I won’t give you a child… and you can’t bring me anywhere with you in public… since your family will never accept that. How long can we even… be together then? One day… you’ll get tired of me. Then… where should I go? What… should I do? You’ve abandoned… and humiliated me… before. So what if it… happens again? Have you ever… thought about this? You’re only thinking about… your current wish to reconcile… but have you actually… thought about me?”[1]

Shao Qun looked at him blankly. This was the first time that he heard Li Chengxiu speak so much, and every single word was like a knife mercilessly slashing at his body. When Li Chengxiu was done, Shao Qun almost had no more strength to squat.

Shao Qun choked: “Chengxiu, it’s unfair of you to say that. I have been working hard for our future. I want my family to accept you, and I want you to enter the Shao family publicly. And I will be able to achieve all of this, if you give me some more time. Everything in the Shao family will be yours one day, so how can you say I haven’t been thinking about the future? I’m only afraid that you won’t want me. I can promise you everything, except for giving up. Even if you tell me to let go, I won’t be able to, so there is no use for you to tell me that.”

Li Chengxiu slightly turned his head : “Shao family… doesn’t concern me. And … I don’t want to have anything to do…with your family anymore.”

Shao Qun’s body trembled, he turned Li Chengxiu’s chin towards himself and said with some excitement: “Chengxiu, what I told you is true. The Shao family will be yours. If I give you the entire Shao family, will you believe me again? In that case, can you give me another chance?”

Li Chengxiu pushed him away: “What are you even talking about…?”

Shao Qun grabbed Li Chengxiu’s hand: “Chengxiu, believe me. Listen, I am going to give you the Shao family. Together with me, the entire Shao family will belong to you. Does that put your mind at ease? As I already told you earlier, you think that you have nothing, but if you have me, you will have everything.”

Li Chengxiu wanted to pull out his hand and stop this torrent of nonsense: “Stop talking. Just leave…”

“Chengxiu!” Shao Qun seemed to be desperate, “Chengxiu, do you remember your physical examination that day?”

Li Chengxiu’s heart skipped a beat and he turned to look at Shao Qun.

“In nine months…you will have a child of your own.”

It seemed that Li Chengxiu was struck by lightning at that moment. He was completely stunned, unable to digest the bomb that Shao Qun had just dropped on him. He thought that he must have heard it wrong.

Shao Qun looked at him and said with excitement: “The surrogate mother I’ve found has been successfully fertilized. She will give birth to your child. And this child’s name will be Shao. He is your child and also mine. He is ours. In the future, everything in the Shao family will belong to him and to you…”

Before Shao Qun even finished speaking, Li Chengxiu’s face was already distorted. His whole body trembled, he raised his fist and punched Shao Qun right in the face.

Shao Qun was knocked to the ground by the sheer force of it, but Li Chengxiu still wasn’t done venting his hatred. As if he was possessed, he got on top of Shao Qun and kept hitting his face and body over and over again.

Unexpectedly, even weak people could go berserk, if they were angered enough, and their wrath could be quite painful.

At first, Shao Qun subconsciously blocked Li Chengxiu’s punches a couple of times, but then he simply frowned with a painful look on his face and let him beat him up as he pleased. In any case, these fists hurt his heart much more than his body.

After an unknown amount of time, Li Chengxiu was so exhausted that he couldn’t even lift his hands anymore. His body softened, and big teardrops started falling onto Shao Qun’s face: “This is… Shao Qun, you bastard! This is…this is a life…You can’t just casually….casually do whatever you want…are you even human? This is… a human being you’re talking about!”

Shao Qun struggled to sit up and hugged Li Chengxiu, tears welling up in his eyes: “Chengxiu, I had no choice. I can’t let you go. I will go absolutely crazy without you. I’m so scared that I can’t sleep anymore. I’m afraid that when I wake up one day, I won’t be able to find you again. But you don’t want me anymore. So what else could I have done to keep you? Apart from this, what other option did I have to keep you? If you don’t want me anymore… What the fuck should I do then? What do you think I should do?

Li Chengxiu opened his mouth and fiercely bit Shao Qun’s shoulder, wishing that he could bite through the flesh. But even that wouldn’t be enough to vent his hatred.

How far was Shao Qun willing to push him before he was finally willing to give up?

A child! A child! A lowly homosexual like him now had a child. This was something he had never even dared to think about in his life. To Li Chengxiu this was such a sacred and beautiful thing. And Shao Qun had the nerve to actually use it as a bargaining chip to preemptively force him into a corner. This innocent child now had to be born into these complicated circumstances. What was Li Chengxiu to do? What would happen to that child? How could Shao Qun do such a thing?

Shao Qun was hugging him tightly, but Li Chengxiu couldn’t even feel or care about the pain in his shoulders or his body.

This tragic love affair was doomed but Shao Qun had the guts to do whatever needed to be done. He was really stupid before because he had to reach the end of the dark tunnel before he finally realized how much he loved Li Chengxiu and that he actually couldn’t live without him. It was his retribution that their relationship had become what it was now. There was no chance that Li Chengxiu was willing to return to the way things were before. But Shao Qun couldn’t let him go. He knew that this would only make Li Chengxiu hate him more, yet he couldn’t think of a better way. Li Chengxiu was Shao Qun’s only failure in life. He didn’t dare to think where his actions would lead the both of them, and he didn’t know if Li Chengxiu was ever going to smile at him again.

Shao Qun held onto Li Chengxiu just like a drowning man holding onto a driftwood.

This was the most important wish in his life, the most urgent desire. He could give up anything, but he could never let this person in his arms go.

Li Chengxiu sobbed and cried – at this moment, he had entirely collapsed. The two of them hugged for a long time, as if they were the only ones left in each other’s worlds.

Teacup’s angry barking was what finally brought them both back to reality.

Li Chengxiu struggled to get himself up from Shao Qun’s body, picked up Teacup that was biting Shao Qun’s clothes, put the puppy into his pocket and then stumbled out of the door.

Shao Qun quickly jumped up and chased after him: “Chengxiu, where are you going?”

Li Chengxiu’s face was full of tears: “Don’t follow me…”

Shao Qun grabbed his arm: “Chengxiu, where are you going? You are in a really bad state right now. You shouldn’t walk around like that…”

“Don’t follow me!” Li Chengxiu screamed, pushed him as hard as he could, turned around and ran away.

Shao Qun didn’t care how fierce Li Chengxiu was acting. He still chose to chase after him.

He had never seen Li Chengxiu like this before. It seemed that all the anger that had been suppressed in his body before had been ignited at the same time. Shao Qun had never imagined that this incident was going to stimulate Li Chengxiu so much.

Shao Qun felt a little regretful in his heart, and he knew that he did something very wrong again. He kept making mistakes like that, pushing Li Chengxiu farther and farther away. But the more mistakes he made, the more mistakes he needed to make to fix them. So he had no other choice but to continue making mistakes. There was no way back for him anymore.

When Shao Qun rushed downstairs together with Li Chengxiu, he saw a car approaching from a distance. He knew at a glance that that was his eldest sister.

He wanted to ignore it and continue chasing after Li Chengxiu but the car suddenly accelerated and swerved in front of him, blocking his way.

Shao Wen got out of the car, grabbed Shao Qun and said angrily, “So you see me and then you run…”

Seeing Li Chengxiu moving farther and farther away, Shao Qun was so anxious that he broke out in sweat. Now all he wanted was to get rid of his sister.

Shao Wen asked sharply, “Shao Qun, what happened to you? Who hit you?” She looked at her brother’s face, which was blue and purple. Shao Qun’s cheeks were also still swollen. She realized that Shao Qun seemed to be in a hurry right now, so she kind of had an idea of what might have happened. The whole thing made her angry and distressed.

Shao Qun said anxiously, “Sis, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Then he bypassed her and ran in the direction where Li Chengxiu had disappeared to.

Shao Wen blushed from anger, turned around and got into the car.

“Follow him,” she instructed the driver.

Li Chengxiu was running very fast, and he actually had no goal in mind. Right now, at this time, he just didn’t want to look at Shao Qun anymore. The farther away he could be from him, the better.

Although Shao Qun followed closely, he didn’t dare to get too close. He kept a little distance between them, afraid that if he approached Li Chengxiu right now, he would go berserk again.

Li Chengxiu’s thoughts were a jumbled mess. All of a sudden, countless pictures and sounds were rushing through his mind. He felt that he was thinking a lot, yet at the same time he wasn’t thinking at all.

Teacup was nervously twisting inside his pocket. The puppy whimpered, clasping at the edge of his pocket with its claws, and looked at the distance between the ground and Li Chengxiu’s pocket. It tried to jump down a couple of times, but didn’t dare.

Suddenly, the phone right under Teacup’s butt rang. The vibration startled the dog, so it started whimpering even more anxiously.

It took Li Chengxiu a long time to calm down too. He took out his mobile phone, looked at the number on the screen and accepted the call.

Ji Yuanqi’s energetic voice came from the other side: “Hey, Li Chengxiu, why haven’t you come to visit this Young Master in such a long time? I’m stuck in this shabby house, and I’m dying of boredom. I want to eat tasty food.”

Li Chengxiu didn’t speak, instead he just pressed out an “um”.

Ji Yuanqi immediately sensed that there was something wrong with his voice: “Hey? What’s wrong with you?”

Li Chengxiu still didn’t speak, so Ji Yuanqi quickly repeated his question: “Li Chengxiu, what’s going on? Are you crying?”

After a long while, Li Chengxiu finally just said “um” again. At this time, he could no longer control his emotions, and his voice was trembling.

The person on the other end of the phone immediately exploded: “Shit, you’re crying again… What happened? Who caused you trouble? No, I mean, you’re a man, so you shouldn’t cry under any circumstances. Tell me what’s going on, and I’ll help you vent.”

Li Chengxiu uncomfortably called out: “Xiao Ji…” After that he couldn’t help but cry even more.

He was indeed a man, so he really shouldn’t cry after every little thing. But he was a man who had absolutely no say about his own life – even if he could provide for himself, he was still under somebody else’s control. And now he was forced into such a dilemma. Even if he doesn’t want to have this child, can he still reject it? It was his own flesh and blood after all.

Li Chengxiu had always known that he wasn’t the most capable person, but this was the first time in his life that he felt so desperate about any kind of situation.

He hated Shao Qun’s willfulness, and he also hated his own weakness and uselessness. He still couldn’t come up with a solution to this problem. So he was now crying his heart out to a child who was a decade younger than himself.

Ji Yuanqi was anxious: “Where are you now? I’ll ask someone to pick you up. Don’t cry, just come over. I’ll help you. Tell me where you are.”

Li Chengxiu ran out of the house at the spur of the moment, and now he didn’t want to go back. In the big city of Guangzhou, he really only had this one friend. After hesitating for a while, Li Chengxiu told Ji Yuanqi his location.

Ji Yuanqi told him to stay put and immediately sent someone to pick him up.

Li Chengxiu waited at the side of the road for about 20 minutes. Sure enough, a familiar car appeared. The same men in black from the last time respectfully opened the door for Li Chengxiu.

Shao Qun had been monitoring Li Chengxiu from a distance, and as soon as he saw what happened, his eyes widened. He hastily jumped into a taxi and followed.

Remembered this quote for some reason.

At least Shao Qun didn’t kill Teacup.