The Hunter’s Gonna Lay Low - Chap 195
Cha Eui-jae stared at Lee Sa-young, as if in a trance, and then looked at ‘Cha Eui-jae’, who was held in his arms. It was a familiar face, a reflection of himself, but it didn’t feel real. It was as if he were watching a scene from a movie.
His gaze soon shifted to Lee Sa-young. A vacant, unfocused stare, groping at empty air. The face in front of him was strangely familiar, but it wasn’t just because he had just seen it. It was from further back, from before… and then Cha Eui-jae let out a small exclamation.
“Ah.”
“I can finally let go.”
Yes. That expression was the same as the one Ham Seok-jeong had worn when he heard about his aunt’s death. Cha Eui-jae absentmindedly rubbed his lips. For some reason, his mouth tasted bitter.
“…”
The world hidden beneath the utopia. Lee Sa-young’s true world. Unlike the flawless, impeccable utopia, this place was barren, quiet, and unchanging. A vague sense of foreboding crept over him.
Perhaps this version of Lee Sa-young would forever hold Cha Eui-jae. His world had stopped the moment Cha Eui-jae died.
It was then that he heard a low whisper.
“Still as cruel as ever…”
Step, step… Footsteps approached from somewhere. Cha Eui-jae didn’t turn around. The footsteps stopped three steps behind him. A voice, devoid of emotion, muttered.
“Tearing everything apart like a mole.”
“…”
“So, are you satisfied?”
“…”
“You destroyed an entire world by sacrificing yourself.”
Cha Eui-jae turned his body. Lee Sa-young stood there, expressionless, looking at him. His lavender eyes swirled with endless emptiness. His dry lips parted.
“You should’ve been satisfied by now…”
A faint gloom flickered across his delicate face.
“I told you… you wouldn’t find what you were looking for.”
“…”
“I have nothing left to show you. This is all that remains.”
Lee Sa-young walked slowly past Cha Eui-jae and stood in front of the two preserved figures. His face, as he gazed at his past self, showed no emotion. Everything had burned away, leaving only ashes. His demeanor was as dry as a desert wind. Cha Eui-jae abruptly asked,
“You seem… different?”
“Hm?”
“You know, when I tried to—”
Cha Eui-jae made a circle with his hand. Lee Sa-young glanced back and replied with a casual “Ah.”
“I couldn’t help it. After spending so much time alone in a ruined world.”
“…”
“Even self-harm gets boring after a while. There’s no excitement anymore, and the world won’t change. It’s quicker than you’d think, becoming like a walking stone.”
“…”
“When I came into contact with you in that state… well, it was overwhelming. I couldn’t control myself. Were you surprised?”
This guy isn’t in his right mind.
Cha Eui-jae discreetly took a step back, but Lee Sa-young continued to stare at his past self. Cha Eui-jae knew he couldn’t let himself get lost here. He forced himself to engage in conversation.
“You said you wanted us to sleep together. What were you planning to show me then? Something about memories?”
“Hm? Where else would it be…”
Lee Sa-young’s pale lips curled slightly, but there was no smile in his eyes. The same emptiness swirled within.
“The place you destroyed yourself.”
A bit of Hong Ye-seong and the slimy Jung Bin floated to the surface of Cha Eui-jae’s mind. Without realizing it, Cha Eui-jae muttered,
“…No, that place was completely distorted to your own liking, wasn’t it?”
“Ah, it must’ve looked that way to you. I tried hard to piece it together though…”
Lee Sa-young lightly tapped his lips with his fingers. His eyelashes cast shadows over his eyes as if lost in thought.
“It couldn’t be helped. Everyone I knew was dead…”
“…”
“I pieced it together from vague memories, but it seems I failed… Sorry?”
Damn it!
Cha Eui-jae gritted his teeth. For some reason, this version of Lee Sa-young was hard to deal with. His aura, which felt more like a system than a human, the emotionless face and voice— yet, there was still something human left about him. It was right here.
A person who had discarded all emotions to wander for an eternity, alone. Joy, anger, sorrow, and fury— all thrown away. But there was one thing he couldn’t let go of.
Cha Eui-jae was staring into the core of a human being.
It was heavy. Everything was.
“…”
Cha Eui-jae clenched and unclenched his fists, his tense muscles moving stiffly. Lee Sa-young murmured.
“Don’t be so tense.”
“…”
“Do you really think I’d kill you…”
Cha Eui-jae forced a lighthearted joke.
“You could probably lock me up, though.”
“…”
Oddly, no denial came. Even though he waited for a long time. Was he really planning to lock him up? Cha Eui-jae’s eyes widened.
“Did you really plan to do that?”
Lavender eyes averted slightly.
“Not confinement… I was planning to shelter you.”
“Shelter?”
“The end is coming soon, even to that world.”
“…”
“I could’ve taken you in. Into the world I made.”
Cha Eui-jae thought of that eerily perfect world. A world obsessively committed to replicating reality, down to an almost compulsive level. A world with just one empty place, waiting for Cha Eui-jae. His utopia would have been completed the moment Cha Eui-jae arrived.
Lee Sa-young spoke gloomily.
“Even though you destroyed it yourself.”
Cha Eui-jae bit his lip hard. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come easily. He hesitated for a long time before finally managing to ask one thing.
“Did you really think I’d go there?”
“You wouldn’t have.”
“…”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
“…”
“Even I know that. But still…”
His gaze, which had been lingering on the ground, suddenly locked onto Cha Eui-jae. In the emptiness of his eyes, Cha Eui-jae’s reflection stood out clearly. Only Cha Eui-jae.
“It was a great comfort, thinking that you might come. It helped me endure.”
“…”
Oddly enough, Cha Eui-jae understood what he meant. There were days when just thinking about what he would do if he went back was enough to keep him going.
At first, he thought about returning safely with his aunt and fellow hunters. After losing his aunt, he thought about returning with his comrades. And after losing them too…
He thought about living with the boy. That was all he had left.
Thinking about what kind of house to buy, how to decorate the rooms, and how the boy would react made the loneliness a little more bearable. Just a little.
That’s why Cha Eui-jae understood ‘Lee Sa-young.’
And ‘Lee Sa-young’ didn’t miss that moment of understanding.
A black hand cautiously gripped Cha Eui-jae’s sleeve. An empty voice spoke.
“Don’t go. Stay here. We can rebuild the world again.”
“…”
“Don’t throw your life away meaninglessly.”
“…”
“You’ve sacrificed enough…”
His voice grew smaller and smaller, his head lowering as he spoke. It was the smallest and most pitiful sight Cha Eui-jae had ever seen of him.
Had ‘Lee Sa-young’ ever said such things to Cha Eui-jae? No. He wouldn’t have. These were probably the words he regretted never saying, finally spilling out now. The weight behind them spoke to that, words chewed over and over.
However,
Cha Eui-jae took a deep breath. Then, he gently grabbed ‘Lee Sa-young’s’ arm.
“Lee Sa-young.”
Empty eyes blankly stared at Cha Eui-jae.
“I may not be exactly the same as the Cha Eui-jae you knew, but I’ll tell you this.”
“…”
“I know what you’re saying. I know what you’re worried about. I’m really grateful for that. But I’m going to make it.”
“…”
“I don’t have any confidence, really. I’ve failed twice already.”
“…”
“But I’m certain. Thanks to you, I’m sure.”
Cha Eui-jae tightened his grip on Lee Sa-young’s arm. His eyes gleamed blue.
“Hong Ye-seong said this is the last chance. That it was supposed to end in the last world. But you held onto the world and created this chance.”
Cha Eui-jae spoke each word carefully, as if chewing on them.
“This is the last chance you gave me. I’m not going to let it slip by. I’m going to stop the end.”
“…”
The empty lavender eyes flickered with a faint light. His pale lips moved soundlessly. Cha Eui-jae released his grip. He hadn’t realized how tense he was until now, breathing heavily. He sighed quietly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
Before, he wouldn’t have tried having such a conversation with this guy. He would’ve thought it was pointless to even try.
But…
“I like us… because we’re special.”
“More than any other Lee Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae.”
“You promised me you’d come back.”
“I just kept my promise.”
“Do whatever you want. Because now, hesitation has taken root in you.”
Thanks to those words that had kept him anchored, Cha Eui-jae found the courage to face this. Because someone had held him steady on his shaky ground. Because someone had endured endless waiting.
There was only one way to repay that person.
Cha Eui-jae reached out his hand.
“Help me.”
He had to stop the apocalypse. For the days they will spend together.
