The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chap 279
Nanping Valley.
It was late at night, and fresh snow was falling outside the thatched cottage.
In the past few days, Mo Ran’s injuries were getting worse and worse. Even though Chu Wanning used the Flower Soul Sacrifice Technique to heal him, the results were minimal.
In the afternoon, he vaguely woke up once, but his consciousness was still not clear. He squinted his eyes, and when he saw Chu Wanning, he just cried. He said he was sorry, but also said he didn’t want to leave. His words were incoherent, and in the end, he was choked with sobs.
He kept dreaming, kept shuttling back and forth in those turbulent years of his life.
In one moment, he thought that he had just been picked up by Xue Zhengyong, and in the next moment, he thought that he was in those five years when he had painfully lost Chu Wanning.
The only thing he couldn’t dream of was the memories that had been taken away by the Eight Distresses Everlasting Regret Flower. He couldn’t dream of all of his sacrifices, all of his protection, and all of his innocence.
“Mo Ran …” Carrying a bowl of freshly cooked porridge, Chu Wanning came to his bedside.
The porridge was barely edible, and it was a dish from his previous life.
He sat down by the bed, raised his hand, and touched Mo Ran’s forehead.
It was very hot.
He called him, but he couldn’t wake him up. Chu Wanning waited until the porridge gradually cooled down and became cold. He felt that it couldn’t continue like this, so he warmed the porridge with water.
He didn’t know when Mo Ran would wake up, but if he did, he could eat something immediately.
“It’s made with chicken soup. You like it the most.” Chu Wanning whispered to him. The spiritual energy that kept Mo Ran’s heart beating had never stopped, but Mo Ran couldn’t wake up.
If he couldn’t wake up, that meant that once the spiritual energy stopped, he might never open his eyes again.
There was no way to save him.
But he couldn’t accept it. How could he accept it?
Mo Ran was still alive. He still had a breath, even if it was very weak. These days, Chu Wanning stayed by his side. Seeing that his chest was still rising and falling, he felt that there was still hope. Everything could still be turned around.
There was still time.
Chu Wanning still remembered one night when Mo Ran woke up in a daze. At that time, there was no light in the room. Mo Ran stared blankly at the candlestick, his dry lips moving slightly.
He was very excited at that time. He quickly held Mo Ran’s hand and asked him, “What do you want to say?”
“… Light …”
“What?”
“… The light … I want the light …” Mo Ran stared at the candlestick that he was destined to never be able to light. Tears rolled down his cheeks, “I want the light to be lit …”
In that instant, time overlapped.
It was as if he had returned to the past, when he had just become his disciple. Mo Ran had fallen ill, and the skinny youth had been curled up in bed, in a daze.
When Chu Wanning went to visit him, he was sobbing softly as he called for his mother.
Not knowing how to coax him, Chu Wanning sat by the youth’s bed. He hesitantly raised his hand and touched the youth’s forehead.
The skinny child cried and said, “It’s black … it’s all black … Mother … I want to go home …”
In the end, it was Chu Wanning who lit the candlestick. The bright light illuminated the four walls, and also illuminated Chu Wanning’s face. As if he felt the warmth of the light, the feverish child opened his pair of bright, watery eyes.
“Shizun …”
Chu Wanning responded and helped him adjust the blanket. His voice was low and gentle, “Mo Ran, the light is on … don’t be afraid.”
After so many years, the lonely lantern lit up again. The warm yellow light filled the thatched cottage, dispelling the endless darkness and coldness.
Chu Wanning stroked his hair and called out in a hoarse voice, “Mo Ran, the light is on.”
He wanted to continue saying, don’t be afraid.
But his throat was choked, and he couldn’t say anything. Chu Wanning held back his tears, but in the end, he pressed against Mo Ran’s forehead and sobbed, “… The light is on. Wake up, okay?”
“Can you talk to me, please …”
Lantern flowers, candles, tears, and a pool of dreams. This lantern kept burning, from bright and clear until the lantern ran out of oil.
Later, when the sky was bright and the sky was white, Mo Ran still didn’t open his eyes. The time when he could use a lantern to wake up the sleeping youth had passed.
He would never look back.
Another three nights passed.
These days, Chu Wanning stayed by his bedside every day, taking care of him, accompanying him, transferring spiritual energy to him, and telling him things that had faded from his memory.
On this evening, the evening snow had stopped. The red sun outside the window spread out and dyed the earth. A squirrel leaped across the snow-covered branches, causing the white pears to rustle and fall down in a sparkling dance.
The man lying on the bed was illuminated by this benevolent twilight. The sunset added color to his pale and haggard face. Under his thin eyelids, his pupils turned slightly — then, when the twilight was about to close, he slowly opened his eyes.
After a few days of being seriously ill and in a coma, Mo Ran finally woke up.
He opened his eyes, but his gaze was still blank and empty until he saw Chu Wanning lying on his bed and sleeping tiredly.
Mo Ran murmured in a hoarse voice, “Shizun …”
He lay in the depths of the quilt and slowly regained consciousness. Slowly, he vaguely remembered the words that Chu Wanning repeatedly said to him when he was half asleep.
A cup of wine on the Mid-Autumn Festival, a begonia handkerchief … and that year at the Red Lotus Pavilion, he sacrificed himself to plant the Eight Bitter Everlasting Regret Flower for him.
Was it a dream?
Was it because he was so desperate for redemption that he dreamt that Chu Wanning told him these stories? Was it because he wanted to turn back so much that he dreamt that Chu Wanning was willing to forgive him?
He turned his face and stretched out his hand, wanting to touch the sleeping man beside the bed. But before his fingertips touched him, he retracted his hand.
He was afraid that if he touched him, the dream would shatter.
He was still in the Heavenly Music Parlor, still kneeling on the confessional, and below him were the spectators. He knelt alone in front of tens of thousands of people. In his eyes, those people all became blurry faces one after another. They became the souls of those who had died in his hands one after another. They screamed and laughed bitterly as they demanded their lives from him.
No one wanted him, no one saved him.
He was the one who was shameless, the one who had wild ambitions, the one who had gone mad, the one who had fantasized that Chu Wanning would come. He was the one who, in the intense pain of having his heart ripped out, imagined the last flame in the world.
It was fake.
No one had ever cut off the iron chains, no one had ever hugged him, no one had ever come with the wind, and no one had ever brought him home.
His eyelashes trembled. With tears in his eyes, he stared at Chu Wanning’s sleeping face. He didn’t dare to blink until his eyes became hazy, until the tears finally fell.
Chu Wanning’s reflection shattered into thousands of specks of light. He hurriedly went to look at his sweet dream.
The dream was still there.
Mo Ran lay on the bed, exhausted. His eyelashes were wet, his throat was choked, and tears kept flowing from the corners of his eyes … His heart was very painful, and blood kept seeping out. He was afraid that he would wake Chu Wanning, who had just fallen into a light sleep, so he bit his lip and kept crying silently.
He woke up, but he knew his own body best. He knew that this was only temporary, the final radiance of the setting sun.
It was also the last mercy that the heavens showed him.
He, Mo Weiyu, had been anxious for most of his life, and crazy for a lifetime. His hands were stained with blood, but he couldn’t escape his bad reputation. In the end, he was judged to be innocent. Therefore, he felt very lost, and even a little nervous.
He didn’t know if this was fortunate or unfortunate.
Unfortunately, it was absurd to have two birds with one stone.
Fortunately, he could finally have peace for the rest of his life.
But how long did he have for the rest of his life? One day? Two days?
Those were the good days that he had exchanged his life for.
— — Those were the days of peace that he had never had before.
Later, when he heard the sound of Chu Wanning waking up, he hurriedly wiped away his tears. He didn’t want Shizun to see him cry.
Mo Ran turned his head and looked at the person beside the bed. His eyelashes trembled slightly, he looked at the person beside the bed stretching his phoenix eyes, he looked at the person beside the bed and saw himself reflected in the person’s eyes.
Outside the window, the golden crow was sinking, and the big dipper stars were rotating.
He heard Chu Wanning call out softly in a hoarse voice: “Mo … ran?”
That voice was low and gentle, like the spring buds breaking through the soil, like the ice that had just melted. It was also like the wine on the little red clay stove that had warmed to the third degree. Wisps of steam rose and filled the air, scalding one’s heart. That was the sound of nature that he would never forget for the rest of his life. Mo Ran was silent for a while, and then he smiled.
“Shizun, I’m awake.”
There was no wind or snow on a clear night. The rest of his life was so long.
That night, in the deep valley of Nanping Mountain, Mo Ran had finally waited for the most relaxing and softest time of his two lives. He woke up. He could see the joy and sadness in Chu Wanning’s eyes. He woke up. He leaned against the bed, letting Chu Wanning say whatever he wanted to him, letting Chu Wanning tell him this and that kind of experience and misunderstanding.
To him, none of this was important.
He just wanted to hold on a little longer, just a little longer.
“Let me look at your wound again.”
“I won’t look.” Mo Ran smiled as he grasped Chu Wanning’s hand. He pulled it over and gently kissed it. “I’m fine.”
After several rejections, Chu Wanning looked at him. As if he suddenly understood something, the blood on his face slowly faded.
Mo Ran forced himself to be calm and said gently: “It’s really fine.”
Chu Wanning didn’t answer. After a while, he got up and walked to the stove. The firewood inside was gradually extinguished. He left Mo Ran with his back to him as he slowly fiddled with the firewood in front of the fire pit.
The fire was lit and then brightened. The entire room was warm, but Chu Wanning didn’t look back. He still used the tongs to fiddle with the firewood that didn’t need to be fiddled with anymore.
“Porridge …”
Finally, he spoke in a hoarse voice.
“The porridge is still warm. You can drink it when you wake up.”
Mo Ran was silent for a moment. He lowered his eyes and smiled: “… It’s been a long time since I drank porridge cooked by Wanning. In my last life, after you left, I never drank it again.”
“It’s not cooked well.” Chu Wanning said: “I still don’t know how to, probably … it’s barely edible …” His voice trembled as if he couldn’t continue.
Chu Wanning paused for a long time before slowly saying: “I’ll get you a bowl.”
Mo Ran said: “… Okay.”
The room was very warm. When the night turned dark, it began to snow intermittently outside.
Mo Ran held the bowl of porridge and drank carefully. After a few sips, he glanced at Chu Wanning. Then, he lowered his head and drank a few more sips. Then, he looked at Chu Wanning again.
Chu Wanning asked: “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well? ”
“No.” Mo Ran said softly, “I just want to … look at you more.”
“…” Chu Wanning didn’t say anything. He used a silver dagger to cut the barbecued fish on the fire pit. The fish melted in the mouth, but there were still bones. He picked out the bones and carefully divided the snow-white fish.
In the past, when he ate, Mo Ran always took care of him.
Now, it was the same.
He handed the cut fish to Mo Ran and said: “Eat it while it’s hot.”
Mo Ran ate obediently.
When this man leaned on the bed and wrapped in the quilt, he didn’t look so tall. The orange light of the fire shone on his face. He looked very young.
At this time, Chu Wanning suddenly realized that whether it was the Emperor Ta or Master Mo, they were all younger than him by a full ten years.
But they had gone through so much suffering.
After Mo Ran finished the porridge, he picked up the fattest piece of fish and wanted to give it to Chu Wanning. He was stunned: “Shizun, what’s wrong?”
Chu Wanning lowered his head. His eyes were slightly red. He calmed himself down and said lightly: “Nothing, I just caught a cold.”
He was afraid that if he continued to sit, he would lose control of himself. He got up quickly: “I’m going to investigate the surroundings. You should rest early after eating. When you’re better, I’ll take you back to the peak of life and death. ”
Both of them knew that the so-called improvement was just the final radiance of the setting sun. All of the tenderness had not much time left.
But they were both talking about tomorrow, about the future. It was as if they were trying to squeeze the next few decades into this one night. All of their future Xingyi would be spent on this snowy night.
After Chu Wanning left, Mo Ran sat in front of the fire for a while. Then he undid his clothes and looked down at the hideous scar on his chest.
Then he stared blankly for a while. He felt empty.
Southern Ping Night Snow.
The drifting snowflakes outside were getting stronger and stronger. Mo Ran didn’t know when his condition would worsen, nor did he know when his life would come to an end. He lay on the side of the bed, looking at the falling snow outside. All he could hear was the whistling of the wind. He suddenly felt that his life was like the turbulent wind at this moment. Everything that had happened yesterday was gone.
In fact, whether it was in the last life or this life, there were always smart people scheming and playing games.
Whether it was Shifu or Shi Mei, one of them wanted to protect him, the other wanted to harm him. But they both had their own plans. Even if in the end they didn’t succeed due to some strange combination of circumstances, they still had a long-term plan.
Mo Ran was different from them. He was the kind of dog that was stupid enough to die. He didn’t have any complicated thoughts. He also didn’t know how to plan step by step, how to play his chess pieces beautifully. He only knew how to honestly guard the person he loved. Even if he was beaten until his skin was torn and his flesh was lacerated, even if he was injured to the bone, he still stubbornly stood in front of that person and didn’t leave.
To put it nicely, this kind of person was brave.
To put it bluntly, he was stupid.
This very stupid person lay by the window, his eyelashes trembling. Suddenly he saw a familiar shadow standing under the plum blossom tree.
Chu Wanning didn’t go out to patrol. This was just an excuse.
He was standing under the tree. The distance was too far, and the wind and snow were too strong. Naturally Mo Ran couldn’t see any expression on his face. He could only see a vague silhouette. He stood alone in the snow that covered the sky and the sun, motionless.
What was he thinking?
Was he cold?
He …
“Shifu.”
Chu Wanning, who was lost in thought in the snow, turned his head and saw that in the dark night, amidst the frost and snow, the black-clothed youth with the quilt had unexpectedly appeared behind him.
Chu Wanning was shocked. He immediately said, “Why did you come out like this? What are you doing out here? Quickly go back — ”
Before he could say “go”, a burst of warmth enveloped him.
Mo Ran, who was under the quilt, lifted the quilt. In the overwhelming darkness, the overwhelming warmth, he also wrapped Chu Wanning in the quilt.
The two of them stood under the old plum blossom tree. They stood under the thick quilt that hadn’t been used for a long time. No matter how they dried it, it still smelled moldy. No matter how heavy the snow was outside, no matter how strong the wind was, it had nothing to do with the two of them.
Mo Ran embraced him in this warmth and pitch-black darkness. “Don’t think about it. Although I don’t remember what Shifu said, but …”
He paused. He first kissed Chu Wanning’s forehead, and then said in a small voice, “But if I had to go back and experience it all over again, I would still do the same.”
“…”
“Moreover.” He held the quilt and stroked Chu Wanning’s ice-cold hand. “Shifu doesn’t need to feel sad. In fact, I feel that what Shi Mei said was correct. The Eight Bitter Everlasting Regret Flower only encouraged those thoughts in my heart, those thoughts that couldn’t see the light of day to come to fruition. ”
Their fingers intertwined.
Mo Ran touched his forehead. “I originally had a lot of hatred in my heart, but I didn’t vent it when I was young. Slaughtering the Confucian Wind Sect … I thought about it. Ruling the world, I also thought about it. Speaking of which, it’s quite funny. When I was five or six years old, I hid in a rundown house and fantasized that one day I would be able to call the wind, summon the rain, cast beans, and turn them into soldiers. These were all my own thoughts, no one forced them on me. ”
He stroked Chu Wanning’s face. “So, if the person who was poisoned by the Gu was you, perhaps you wouldn’t have become an unpardonable tyrant like me. You wouldn’t have been used, and you wouldn’t have been killed by the Heavenly Sound Pavilion. ” He laughed with a deep nasal voice, and rubbed his forehead to comfort him. “You weren’t replaced by me. Don’t think too much about it. Go back to your room and sleep.”
The bed was very narrow. Mo Ran hugged him.
The moment that should come would always come closer and closer, and it couldn’t be avoided.
Mo Ran’s consciousness began to blur and scatter again. The pain in his heart was even more intense than before. The final radiance of the setting sun wouldn’t last for too long. It was the same when his mother died. He knew that he didn’t have much time left.
He lowered his thick eyelashes, and the fire in the furnace was already somewhat dim. The dim yellow light shone on his young and handsome face, making him look especially gentle.
This stupid man probably saw the pain in Chu Wanning’s eyes, so he endured his own discomfort and joked, “Do I look good?”
Chu Wanning was stunned. “What?”
“Scars,” Mo Ran said. “A real man should have a few scars on his face.”
Chu Wanning was silent for a while, then raised his hand and gave him a slap. The slap was too light, and it was more like a caress.
After a while, he seemed to be unable to bear it any longer. He buried himself in Mo Ran’s warm chest and didn’t make a sound, but his shoulders were trembling slightly.
He knew very well.
Chu Wanning knew.
Mo Ran was stunned for a moment, then hugged him and kissed his forehead and hair.
“So ugly.” After surviving a disaster, he was more affectionate than usual. He sighed softly. “Did you make Wanning cry?”
If he called him Shizun, it would have been better.
But if he called him Wanning, then two lifetimes would have passed.
Chu Wanning hugged this man’s burning and lively body in the depths of the bedding. He had always hated and felt ashamed to express any of the intense emotions in his heart, but at this moment, he felt that his tightness and shame were so laughable, so absurd.
So in this intertwined embrace, on this tight bed, in this empty hut, in this long night of wind and snow.
Chu Wanning said softly, “How can it be ugly? It doesn’t matter if you have scars or not. It’s all pretty. ”
Mo Ran was stunned.
He had never heard Chu Wanning express himself so directly.
Not even on the day of the Imperial Sword Confession.
There was only a little bit of afterglow in the room. It was very quiet and very gentle.
The peace and gentleness that came late.
“In the last life and in this life, I liked you and was willing to be with you. I will also be willing in the future. ”
Mo Ran listened to him say one sentence after another in his arms. He couldn’t see Chu Wanning’s face clearly, but he could imagine Chu Wanning’s appearance at this moment.
He was afraid that his eyes were red, and even the tips of his ears were red.
“I once knew that you were bewitched, but I couldn’t show it. I could only hate you … Now I can finally make it up to you.” Chu Wanning’s cheeks were burning, and the corners of his eyes were wet. “I like you. I am willing to marry you. I am willing to split my soul for you. I am willing to submit to you.”
Hearing that he was willing to submit to you, Mo Ran’s heart seemed to be burned by a raging fire. His entire body trembled.
He was both moved and sad. He was both in pain and attachment.
He was almost trembling. “Shizun …”
Chu Wanning raised his hand to stop him. “Let me finish.”
But after waiting for a while, Chu Wanning was someone who didn’t know how to say words of love. He thought about many things, but no matter how he thought about it, it wasn’t enough.
For a moment, Chu Wanning really wanted to say, “I’m sorry. I made you suffer and bear too many burdens.”
He also wanted to say, “In the previous life, until I left, I couldn’t tell you the truth clearly. I wronged you.”
He also wanted to say, “That year at the Red Lotus Pavilion, thank you for being willing to protect me.”
He even wanted to throw away his dignity at this moment. He wanted to cry to Mo Ran. He wanted to hug this body that was still warm and say, “I beg you not to leave. I beg you not to leave.”
But his throat was choked, and his heart was bitter.
In the end, Chu Wanning lowered his head and kissed the scar on Mo Ran’s heart. His eyelashes fluttered, and he spoke in a low voice.
“Mo Ran, no matter what happened in the past or in the future, I will always be with you.”
Shame burned through his blood.
But his words were so solemn.
“I will always be the Emperor Ta’s man, and also Grandmaster Mo’s man.”
It was too hot.
Mo Ran only felt that the flame of another lifetime in his arms lit up again. In front of his eyes were bright fireworks. All of the pain and sorrow in this moment was far away.
“Two lifetimes, I will always belong to you.”
“I won’t regret it.”
Mo Ran suddenly closed his eyes, full of tears.
He kissed Chu Wanning’s lips one last time. He sighed and said, “… … Shizun … … Thank you.”
The snow outside grew heavier and heavier, and the night grew darker and darker.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms. They both thought, so this is the rest of their lives.
Mo Ran knew that his clothes were soaked with tears, but he didn’t say anything. Since he was young, he had hoped that the rest of his life would be filled with happiness. At this time, he should be happy.
He hugged Chu Wanning and said, “Sleep, Wanning. Sleep, I’ll hold you. You’re afraid of the cold, I’ll warm you up. ”
“When I’m better, we’ll go back to the peak of life and death. I want to go ask uncle and auntie for forgiveness. I want to argue with Xue Meng again … … We still have so many things to do … …”
Mo Ran stroked Chu Wanning’s hair, his voice soft.
His throat was full of the sweet taste of blood, and his breathing became more and more difficult.
But he still smiled. His expression was very calm. “Shizun, I will hold the umbrella for you for the rest of your life.”
In his embrace, Chu Wanning was already choking on her sobs.
“Junior Brother Xia … …” He teased him again. He was clearly almost unable to speak, but he still teased him. “Senior Brother … … I’ll tell you a story … … Every night in the future, I’ll tell you a story … … Don’t despise senior brother for being clumsy. In the end, I only know how to talk about cows eating grass … …”
In the end, Mo Ran raised his eyes and looked at the sparkling layer of snow on the window frame.
The world was a vast expanse of pure white.
“Wanning.” He hugged him. His heartbeat reverberated in Chu Wanning’s ears. He said softly, “I’ve always loved you.”
He slowly closed his eyes. His dimples were shallow, soaking in two pools of pear blossom white.
His heartbeat slowed down bit by bit. Bit by bit, it became intermittent.
Suddenly, a plum tree outside the window was crushed by snow. The snow was too heavy. The branches snapped, making a sudden noise. The snowball fell with the branches, making a crisp crackling sound.
After this clamor, Chu Wanning could no longer hear the sound of his heartbeat.
He waited for a moment. He waited for a moment. He waited for a while. He waited for a long time.
There was no more sound.
No sound … … Nothing at all … …
It was a terrifying silence that made one’s flesh and bones tremble.
It was a terrifying silence that made one despair for life.
Finally.
It stopped.
It rested.
The room was deathly silent. It was so quiet that it was terrifying.
After a very long time, Chu Wanning did not move. Chu Wanning was still lying in Mo Ran’s arms on the bed. He did not even get up, raise his head, or speak again.
His little disciple, his Senior Brother Mo, his Emperor Ta wanted him to sleep peacefully.
He said he would hold an umbrella for him for the rest of his life, tell him stories for the rest of his life, and love him for the rest of his life.
Mo Ran said, It’s cold outside, the snow is heavy.
I’ll warm you up.
Chu Wanning curled up in his arms, curled up in his chest, and did not move at all.
They were going to leave for home tomorrow.
He wanted to have a good rest with Mo Ran.
Chu Wanning reached out and wrapped his arms around Mo Ran’s waist.
In the dark night, he said, “Okay, I’ll listen to you. I’ll sleep. … … But tomorrow, when I call you, you have to remember to wake up. ”
He leaned against the chest that was no longer rising and falling. His tears soaked and warmed Mo Ran’s clothes.
“Don’t stay in bed.”
Good night, Mo Ran.
It’s a long night, but I’ll be with you. I hope you have good dreams. There’s fire, there’s light.
And home.