The Pheromones Say We Have No Chance - Chap 5
Chapter 5 — Do You Like Honey Peaches?
“Shit, how many times have I said this, why do you keep provoking him!” Fan Yue massages his butt, in pain after getting whipped, while yelling in the direction of the two who were running off.
Xiao Yan takes a moment while running away to wave at Fan Yue.
“Students these days are really something…” The instructor leaves the scene, still shell-shocked.
“Come come, the pop and the watermelon is for everyone, think of it as a start-of-semester gift.” Good Samaritan Fan Yue, best at peacemaking and taking credit for others’ efforts, attempts to do something good to salvage face for his deskmate. “It’s all fresh and untouched, take what you like.”
The crowd of first years who had been salivating after the watermelon for ages rushed over at once, divvying up everything and dispersing happily.
In the offices within the school building, a few teachers are conversing with the Director of Academics.
“If it were up to me, I will only be in charge of Class 3 from now on.” Director Wu jokes, “Look at these math grades, there’s Xiao Yan in Second Year, Class 3, and Luo Zhiyu in First Year, Class 3. These two students never make me worry. They’re self-motivated too, saves you so much worrying when you’re teaching them.”
“Xiao Yan has lots of ideas of his own; sometimes he doesn’t listen to everything the teachers say.” Second Year, Class 3 homeroom teacher Mr. Li says modestly, “It seems like Luo Zhiyu is a little more obedient, with a good personality.”
“Yes, he seemed like a very polite kid over the phone.” The homeroom teacher for First Year, Class 3 says, “should be an omega boy that won’t cause too many headaches.”
“We’re pretty prestigious, here at First Metropolitan, so our recruitment is always very good.” Director Wu stands up proudly, holding his tea and faces the window, taking a sip.
“Have you guys seen the news earlier, the one about the rare pheromone compatibility?” A teacher shares a link in the Wechat group chat from the X City Morning News account, “Pretty interesting.”
Mr. Li is just about to respond when he notices that Director Wu’s hand starts to tremble while holding his tea.
“What, what is that…” Director Wu looks, unbelievingly, at the small path outside the school building.
There is a hunt occuring; the two students that the teachers were just speaking proudly of have turned into the main characters of this scrimmage.
“I dare you to run more, motherfucker!” Luo Zhiyu chases determinedly, the big broomstick in his hand wielded as if he was swinging a forty-meter long knife.
“I’ll give you…I’ll give you a thirty nine meter head start.” Luo Zhiyu’s big broomstick lunges, hitting at the spot Xiao Yan was just at. Xiao Yan agilely jumps to the side, dodging it.
Xiao Yan evidently does not look like a first-time offender for this kind of crime, and Luo Zhiyu also obviously does not look like it is his first time taking revenge with violence — both people move at a very fast speed, Xiao Yan dodging around in all directions, Luo Zhiyu chasing madly while brandishing the broomstick. It is not long before they pass by the little path in view of the teachers’ office.
A room full of teachers go speechless, unintentionally at the same time.
“Luo Zhiyu, are you not tired?” Xiao Yan asks as he runs.
“None of your business.” The broomstick in Luo Zhiyu’s hand lunges again.
“I am starting to think of the suggestion you had last night.” Xiao Yan pauses for half a second in front of the cafeteria, “We will just be normal schoolmates from now on, let’s chill out with a truce.”
Luo Zhiyu does not believe Xiao Yan’s words at all, broomstick swinging and landing on Xiao Yan’s calf.
In the cafeteria, the students and teachers who are eating: “……”
Everyone puts down the chopsticks in their hands, pulling out their phones in tacit agreement, digging out the campus forum post from a few days ago. As expected, the post that was barely visited a few days ago has become a hot topic on the forum.
[Has anyone seen the news, I am kind of curious about what it’s like to have 0% compatibility with someone.]
A day ago, the post discussion looked like this:
1L: As the title says, they are definitely innocent, so does that mean that they definitely cannot have a romantic relationship? I am referring to Luo and Xiao.
2L: Kind of a pity, I screenshot the two together from the entrance ceremony. Good looking people should just be together, dude, especially if it’s a good looking omega and alpha.
3L: Borrowing this post to ask, does Luo Zhiyu have a boyfriend?
4L: What, you want to pursue him, bro on 3L? Tongue out smile.jpg, I used to be at the same middle school as him, I suggest that you think again.
After one day, the post that had originally met a cold reception suddenly saw multiple replies —
98L: I am the bro on 3L, I take back what I said.
99L: Hahahaha 0% compatibility, I really think these two people have some problems.
100L: Borrowing the post to ask, does anyone have the Wechat or QQ of our school-grass? I saw him at once when he was sitting on the grass today, he’s so handsome! Oh, also begging for his dorm number.
101L: The school-grass is getting beaten up. I am a first year, I’m kind of feeling great right now, I just want to say, serves him right!
The temperatures at the start of September are still quite high. Not long after, the duo’s clothes are sweat-soaked; Xiao Yan hears Luo Zhiyu’s pants from behind him and turns and enters through a doorway.
“No more fighting.” After entering the room, Xiao Yan’s running speed noticeably slows. He waves at Luo Zhiyu, walking further into a building.
Luo Zhiyu is getting hungry anyway, but his anger reading has not completely lowered to zero. Xiao Yan goads him by still strutting around right in front of his eyes; Luo Zhiyu is ultimately reluctant to just let it go like this. He doesn’t care where Xiao Yan has entered, swinging the broomstick over his shoulder, chasing a few more steps and lunges again in Xiao Yan’s direction.
Xiao Yan stands in the first floor of the Alpha dorms and knocks on a door from the hallway, footsteps immediately sounding from inside.
“You came back alive?” Fan Yue opens the door in boxers, medicinal oil in his hands, “you…”
Halfway through his sentence, he spots the broomstick, slowly looming higher and higher, behind Xiao Yan.
Fan Yue: “……”
Xiao Yan reacts quickly by kicking the door closed, closing the door on Fan Yue clad in only boxers, hiding him away from Luo Zhiyu’s line of sight. Yet, he is not fast enough to dodge Luo Zhiyu’s broomstick landing squarely on his back.
“What’s going on? What happened?” The dorm a-yi comes rushing at the noise, seeing at once the huge broomstick in Luo Zhiyu’s hands and the tiny leaf stuck to Xiao Yan’s head.
It is still high noon, all the alphas in the entire dorm are awake, watching the two people standing at the dorm entrance in timeout 1 instead of taking an afternoon nap.
In the group chat for Alpha dorm Building 1, Room 109:
[Tang Yuan]: Who is it? Who has couragely invaded our dorm of fierce As.2 (>vv<)
In front of the dorm, two people and one broomstick face the wall, reflecting on their actions. Fan Yue avoids the dorm admin’s line of sight and hands Xiao Yan a large sun umbrella.
“Have you guys eaten?” Fan Yue asks.
“Didn’t have time to yet.” Xiao Yan has just one can of pop left; he had held onto it the whole time running away.
“I’ll go get some for you guys.” Fan Yue holds his hand out for the two’s meal plan cards. “You’d be lucky if there’s anything to eat at all at this hour, I hope you sirs won’t get picky.”
“Meal card?” Luo Zhiyu thinks, tilting his head. It seems that after he used it for lunch yesterday, he had stuffed it into his drawing board bag out of convenience. “I don’t have it on me, I’ll just pass.”
He had just baked under the sun for a whole morning, and then chased Xiao Yan around for three blocks. At this point, he is a little sleepy.
“Just swipe Xiao Yan’s, then.” Fan Yue takes Xiao Yan’s meal card from his hands, “he deserves it.”
Fan Yue leaves to get food for the two of them. Xiao Yan sees that there isn’t anyone around right now and opens Tang Yuan’s huge, pink umbrella.
“Come here.” Xiao Yan says, looking at the wall.
Luo Zhiyu takes one step to the left, ducking under the shade of the big umbrella, and hmmphs, continuing to face the wall and reflect on his actions.
Concerned for his students, Director Wu asked quite a few people on his way over, finally finding the two Excellent Student Representatives at the corner of the wall at the Alpha dorms, accompanied by the big broom from the school’s sports field.
The two students face the wall, holding up a delicate pink umbrella, standing in timeout as punishment. Neither of the two acknowledge the other being there. On the back of one of the two, on top of the blue and white school uniform, is a clear and recognizable imprint of a broomstick.
What kind of beef can there be between two teenagers? Especially these two, who are some of the most promising students at First Metropolitan. Director Wu decides to do some conflict resolution.
“Got told to stand here as punishment, the two of you?”
“Hi, Director.” The two excellent students greet the Director of Academic Studies upon seeing him.
Director Wu’s heartbeat stutters a little, believing more and more that excellent students are all courteous deep down. They just need some correct guidance, and they will grow up with unity and friendship.
“Many of the people you meet in your school days will become part of your life’s most precious memories.” Director Wu starts to establish compassion with the two students with his own life experiences. “You two are still young, what kind of animosity can you have? Why don’t you both reconcile now and go rest in your dorms. Luo Zhiyu, take a day off from military training. Xiao Yan, don’t you have class in the afternoon?”
Director Wu self-evaluates that his words have taken good effect. After all, the two students‘ gazes have moved from the wall in front of them and onto each other.
Director Wu decides to give another push. He sees the soda in Xiao Yan’s hands.
“Student Luo has been in military training all morning, have you had a chance to drink some water?” Director Wu asks.
“Student Luo.” Xiao Yan had originally planned to save a can of pop for Luo Zhiyu after provoking him anyway. He had forgotten after he got chased by Luo Zhiyu all the way to the dorms, but after Director Wu’s question, he puts the umbrella aside and holds out the can of pop very respectfully in front of Luo Zhiyu’s hands. “Here, whatever’s between us ends today.”
Luo Zhiyu is actually pretty thirsty after the prolonged chaos, so he doesn’t look closely at the honey peach soda in Xiao Yan’s hands.
Luo Zhiyu slowly reaches out, just about to take the can of soda from Xiao Yan’s hands.
Director Wu thinks that this has been his most successful moment of moral education since he was promoted to Director of Academics, the kind that is worthy of publishing a case study of.
Luo Zhiyu presses his lips together, reaching out to pull at the tab, opening the can.
Director Wu is expectantly waiting to witness the innocent and pure friendship between two students; Luo Zhiyu is expecting to take a drink, and Xiao Yan is waiting for Luo Zhiyu to stop being mad.
It occurs to none of them that this is a can of pop, and that Xiao Yan held onto it while running for three blocks — it has been shaken to the utmost extreme.
Accompanying the sound of Luo Zhiyu pulling open the can’s tab, the honey peach soda spurts out with a tss, seemingly anxious to leave its can right this second. Luo Zhiyu blanks for a moment then reacts immediately after, turning the can onto Xiao Yan’s general direction before the first wave of pop flies out.
Like a raging fountain, honey peach soda erupts.
