Use Yourself As A Poison - Chap 85
　Chi Yan stared blankly at Yang Qian, and listened to what he said in disbelief.
　　The heart is twisted like pain.
　　Bai Luo was so stupid, he didn’t know anything anymore…
　　It was because of today’s excessive stimulation that he was so stimulated that he was no longer conscious…
　　”Chi Yan, did you hear that? I said that because of excessive fear and fear, some people will suddenly lose their memory, and they selectively forget the things they fear the most in their hearts… The same is true for
　　Bai Luo now…
　　only However, his condition is much more serious than losing his memory.
　　He doesn’t even have the slightest sense of sanity.
　　It’s not just as simple as losing his memory. He even lost himself…
　　He doesn’t want to Then go to perceive the world.
　　Because of the excessive pain, he closed himself up. He
　　has no memory, no thoughts, no sanity.
　　From then on, he is just a fool.
　　Then…”
　　Yang Qian They were already trembling and unable to speak.
　　Then, he just went through his life without knowing anything…
　　There is no difference between him living like this and dead…
　　”Chi Yan, you are really sorry for Bai Luo. He is with you We have been together for so many years, there is hard work without credit.
　　Even if you don’t like him, you shouldn’t treat him like this…”
　　Yang Qian grabbed Bai Luo with his hands. Although Bai Luo lost his sanity, he It also seems to know that Yang Qian treats him well.
　　Compared to being afraid when he saw Chi Yan, he was much gentler when he saw Yang Qian.
　　He looked at Yang Qian with some fear, and leaned towards him. It was as if he was the only one he could rely on now.
　　Yang Qian couldn’t help stretching out his arms to hug Bai Luo, feeling unspeakably uncomfortable in his heart.
　　Over the years, Yang Qian has always treated Bai Luo as his younger brother.
　　He tried very hard to find a way to rescue Bai Luo.
　　However, I finally found it, and I haven’t been happy for a few days.
　　It was completely ruined by Chi Yan…
　　Bai Luo’s life was not long, and he even lost his sanity.
　　He lived like a dead person, no matter what he said to him, he would not respond, and he would never know again…
　　Yang Qian really hated Chi Yan.
　　At the same time, he also hated himself for not being able to take Bai Luo away.
　　When he was in Chiyan Mansion before, he even failed to protect Bai Luo well.
　　Now he can only watch Bai Luo become like this.
　　”Bai Luo’s life has been too hard…He used to take care of those children, he didn’t care about himself at all.
　　It’s different from you royals and nobles who grew up in honey pots.
　　He grew up He’s so big, he’s never even celebrated his birthday…
　　The only birthday gift I’ve ever received before was a string of beads you threw to him.
　　Then, one day, I saw that the string of beads was gone, in order to comfort him , I ordered him a bowl of long-lived noodles.
　　I was thinking at that time, I must save Bai Luo, so that he can eat a bowl of long-lived noodles every year in the future.
　　But… ..”
　　Yang Qian said these things intermittently, his emotions had been suppressed to the extreme.
　　”But you actually used the way he made money to humiliate him.
　　Even if he supported those younger brothers and sisters by sleeping with you, so what? Didn’t you voluntarily give him the money? Do you think that instead
　　of Any guy, would he do that?
　　That’s a terrible thing!
　　While depriving him of his life, you actually used this matter to humiliate him!
　　Do you know how many things he has done for you behind the scenes? How much you have suffered! ”
　　Chi Yan looked at Bai Luo sitting there blankly. His
　　whole body was trembling.
　　His face was both absent-minded and painful.
　　It seemed that he was suffering.
　　That’s right.
　　How could he treat Bai Luo like this
　　? It was because of those bastard things he did that Bai Luo became what he is now.
　　He was clearly still alive, yet he died in such a way…
　　How much pain did Bai Luo have in his heart that made him fall into this state? The whole person closed up.
　　How cruel was he to force him into this state?
　　Chi Yan didn’t dare to think about it.
　　Chi Yan was very familiar with the string of beads that Yang Qian mentioned.
　　Before that, he still looked down on Bai Luo I
　　feel that he can’t put it down even a string of beads that he threw to him casually, and he really can’t be on the stage.
　　At that time, in order to belittle Bai Luo, Chi Yan even took him to see the gift he gave Shen Yunnian.
　　He told Bai Luo, compared to the gifts he gave to Shen Yunian, how cheap and see-sawed are his strings of beads.
　　He even crushed the strings of beads on Bai Luo’s hands with his own hands.
　　What’s more, at that time he Thinking that Bai Luo was lying, he directly poured the bowl of longevity noodles in Yang Qian’s mouth on Bai Luo’s head,
　　forcing him to eat like a dog…
　　Until this time, Chi Yan didn’t know why Bai Luo After seeing that bowl of noodles being knocked over by him, would he be so sad and sad?
　　But at that time, he still felt that he was making a fuss out of a molehill.
　　Still mocking him, isn’t it just a bowl of broken noodles?
　　Why do you have to make it look like you are dying?
　　However, it turned out that it was the first bowl of Longevity Noodles in Bai Luo’s life… It
　　was also Yang Qian’s most sincere encouragement to Bai Luo after he knew that he would not live long.
　　Everything was ruined by myself.
　　I have been rich and well-fed for so many years, and every time I have a birthday, I have to do something special.
　　Countless people came to congratulate, and there were countless gifts.
　　However, Chi Yan never thought that Bai Luo would even have a bowl of longevity noodles as a luxury.
　　Chi Yan simply didn’t know how to describe his mood?
　　He wished Bai Luo could treat himself in the same way!
　　”Bai Luo, I’m sorry! It’s all my fault…I’m sorry!”
　　Chi Yan wanted to hold Bai Luo’s hand and confess to him.
　　But Bai Luo was too afraid of him, so whenever Chi Yan touched his body, he screamed loudly.
　　He doesn’t know anything.
　　He couldn’t hear Chi Yan’s confession, and didn’t understand his sadness and sadness.
　　All he knew was that he was afraid of this man.
　　Not wanting to let him get close…
　　Chi
　　Yan finally took Bai Luo back from Yang Qian.
　　Bai Luo is near the end of his life, Yang Qian said, he only has one month to live at most.
　　Moreover, even if he is still alive now, he is actually almost dead.
　　He doesn’t know anything… it’s almost like a living dead.
　　Chi Yan could not accept such a result at all.
　　He couldn’t accept Bai Luo’s death.
　　As long as you think that the person in front of you will leave you…
　　Chi Yan felt heart-piercing pain.
　　He must find the best doctor to treat Bai Luo.
　　He couldn’t watch Bai Luo leave him like this.
　　The marriage that had been planned for so long was rejected by Chi Yan.
　　During this period, Shen Yunnian came many times, but was turned away by him.
　　Chi Yan could no longer deceive himself.
　　He thought he liked Shen Yunnian…
　　he thought that Shen Yunnian was much more important than Bai Luo.
　　But now when facing Bai Luo who is about to lose his life.
　　Only then did Chi Yan realize that it was not at all.
　　He likes Bai Luo.
　　And only like Bai Luo!
　　The person he wants to marry back home has always been Bai Luo…
　　Ridiculous.
　　For so many years, he has never seen his own heart clearly.
　　He thought he liked someone else.
　　Abandoning the person you really like, like that, hurts deeply.
　　”Lolo, don’t be afraid, I will treat you well. In the future, I will definitely help you find the best doctor and let him cure your illness.
　　We…we will always be together in the future , okay?
　　Even if I want to get married in the future, that person must be you…”
　　When Chi Yan said these words, his voice was choked with sobs.
　　His whole body has been crying sobbing.
　　Chi Yan had never felt that he was such a jerk.
　　In fact, he fantasized more than once that Bai Luo would put on a wedding dress for him.
　　However, when this day really came, he drove Bai Luo crazy.
　　Chi Yan kept confessing to Bai Luo.
　　However, Bai Luo didn’t understand Chi Yan’s sadness and sadness at all.
　　No matter what Chi Yan said to him, he would not have the slightest reaction.
　　He’s clearly sitting here, but it’s like he doesn’t have this person…
　　he doesn’t have a soul.
　　There is no joy, anger, sorrow and joy.
　　There is not even any hatred for this person.
　　Chi Yan helped Bai Luo search for famous doctors.
　　He found all the doctors and imperial doctors he knew and could find.
　　However, each of these people shook their heads.
　　Chi Yan felt that his heart was dying bit by bit.
　　He didn’t know, how would he keep this person and keep him from leaving him?
　　The soup for Bai Luo was simmering on the stove.
　　Chi Yan brought him in from the outside.
　　Then he saw a large bloodstain around Bai Luo’s mouth which was shocking.
　　Bai Luo’s health became worse and worse, and he vomited blood more and more frequently.
　　Whenever he sees Bai Luo spitting blood these days, Chi Yan feels heart-wrenching pain.
　　However, Bai Luo didn’t know what the blood he spit out meant…
　　He looked at the blood and started playing.
　　The blood was all over his body, even his hands were covered with blood.
　　Like a child, Bai Luo smeared the blood on the wall.
　　He is having fun.
　　But when he saw Chi Yan looking at him with very ugly eyes, he instinctively became afraid again.
　　He shrank himself into a small corner.
　　Wiping the blood stains on the wall with his fingers, trying to wipe the blood away.
　　However, the blood was wiped more and more, and it couldn’t be wiped off at all.
　　Bai Luo was afraid that Chi Yan would punish him, so he covered his face with his hands, and said in fear, “You…don’t come here, I’m afraid.” Chi Yan just looked at this scene like this
　　.
　　I just felt my chest twitch violently.
　　It was as if there were countless small and dense needles piercing fiercely.
　　He walked over almost trembling.
　　There was unprecedented despair in his eyes.
　　This must be the most terrible punishment in the world, he thought.
　　There was nothing he could do to heal the man.
　　There was no way to stop him from vomiting blood.
　　There is even no way to pass on his regret and discomfort to him.
　　I can only watch him getting weaker and weaker…
　　getting closer and closer to death…
　　What should he do?
　　How can we keep this person?
　　Chi Yan hugged Bai Luo’s body in pain, his whole body almost collapsed.
　　He gritted his teeth and said in extreme pain:
　　”Luo Luo, don’t be afraid of me, I’m sorry…”
　　”Are you back?”
