You! Don’t Press that Button! - Chap 101

Try as I might to suppress it, I eventually lost the battle against the turmoil in my chest and abruptly stood up. With steps that were both urgent and angry, I walked to Karhan’s office. Clenching my fists and heaving my shoulders, I approached the office just as Claude was exiting. He asked cautiously, with a bewildered expression:

“Is something the matter?”

I answered with a nod, gritting my teeth. Claude hesitated for a moment before informing Karhan of my arrival.

As soon as permission was granted, I flung the door open, only to be greeted by the sound of laughter. Laughter? I twitched my eyebrows and poked my head in past Claude, experiencing a moment of utter disbelief.

Ruzel, who had turned my insides upside down, was sitting across from Karhan. And they were eating ice cream together. I hadn’t even eaten ice cream with Karhan yet! I furrowed my brows, creating walnut-like wrinkles on my chin. If I didn’t control my emotions here, I felt like tears might well up from within.

Taking a deep breath through my nose, I slowly entered the office. Karhan greeted me, patting the seat beside him.

That’s right! My place is next to Karhan! With tense shoulders, I quickly sat down right next to him. I lifted my head to glare at Ruzel across from us, but he just smiled as if nothing was amiss.

“You two seem very close,” he said in an irritating voice.

Karhan laughed and sipped his tea. Why isn’t he saying anything? I blinked and glanced at Karhan, but he continued to savor his tea quietly.

When did Ruzel even get here? What kind of conversation did he have with Karhan before I arrived? Are they enjoying a secret rendezvous? No, no. Karhan isn’t that kind of person.

I had so many questions for Karhan, but I couldn’t open my mouth with Ruzel present. It didn’t seem like they were discussing anything particularly important, but whether out of obliviousness or intentionally, Ruzel wasn’t leaving. As I fidgeted like a puppy needing to relieve itself, Karhan’s large hand covered mine.

“Do you have something to say?”

“Huh? Ah, well… It’s nothing important.”

As I shook my head, Ruzel’s laughter rang out again. I looked at him with sharp eyes, but he was just smiling the same way he had when we first met. With nothing particular to say, I pressed my lips together. Ruzel blinked once and then looked at Karhan.

“It seems I may have offended someone,” he said in a somewhat melancholic tone.

“I came to learn various things, but… perhaps it would be better if I came back later.”

He rose slowly from his seat, tightly fastening the coat Karhan had given him. Wait, hold on. If he leaves like that, what does that make me? I looked back and forth between Ruzel and Karhan with wide eyes.

Ruzel made a show of swishing his coat as he headed towards the door. As Ruzel showed signs of leaving, Karhan, who had been sitting next to me, also stood up. The warm touch that had enveloped my hand disappeared, leaving a sense of loneliness.

Karhan kindly opened the door and saw Ruzel off. I sat alone on the sofa, watching the scene unfold.

With a soft click, Karhan closed the door and turned to look at me. He wore a faint smile, not seeming angry. As he gazed at me with calm eyes, I felt as if I had done something wrong and lowered my head slightly.

As Karhan sat down beside me, the sofa sank deeply. My upper body tilted naturally, and I ended up resting my head on Karhan’s shoulder. Before I could move, Karhan’s arm slipped behind me and wrapped around my shoulders.

“You shouldn’t show your emotions so obviously,” he said softly.

His thick hand patted my shoulder as if to soothe my heart. I chewed on my lips and spoke without smoothing my furrowed brows:

“Karhan… how old are you? When’s your birthday? What’s your family like? How many lovers have you had before? W-what’s your race? Do you have any moles in secret places or any information no one else knows? Tell me!”

I want to share Karhan’s secrets that no one else knows!

Faced with this sudden barrage of questions, Karhan’s lips sealed shut as if zipped. His pale silver-gray eyes widened, taking me in.

“Tell me! I want to know more about you too!”

I couldn’t lose to Ruzel. It wasn’t right for me, Karhan’s lover, to know less about him than a guest like Ruzel. As I spoke petulantly, jutting out my lower lip, Karhan’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

“Ask one at a time, slowly.”

The corners of Karhan’s usually stoic mouth lifted slightly. He seemed somewhat amused, so I tilted my head and started with what I was most curious about.

“How old are you, Karhan?”

“Hmm… I haven’t counted carefully since passing 400. I think around 426 years old.”

So… so many… Am I dating a grandfather?

I couldn’t hide my wavering gaze at the unexpectedly high number. As I swallowed hard, Karhan furrowed his brows and chuckled softly. The hand that had been wrapped around my shoulder fell away and gently brushed the hair fluttering on my forehead.

“Are you surprised?”

“N-no, I’m not. I’m a little taken aback, but not surprised.”

I hurriedly shook my head, but it seemed my true feelings had already been exposed.

Honestly, it was impossible not to be surprised. Learning that there’s an over 400-year age gap with your first lover – wouldn’t it be strange to remain calm? Feeling cold sweat run down my back, I averted my gaze.

It’s okay. Karhan doesn’t look that old, and he’s caring… It’s not unreasonable yet! He’s robust! Thinking this way, I forced myself to nod.

“Then, when’s your birthday? And what about your family?”

“My birthday is next month. As for family… My parents passed away early, and as you know, I have a younger brother, Arthur.”

Both parents died early? I looked at Karhan with round eyes.

“They both passed when I was fifteen. My father took his own life, and my mother succumbed to illness.”

Fifteen years old… That’s too young to survive alone. I was the same. I had no parents from a young age. I was too young to hear properly from adults, but I heard that my father had abandoned my mother and me, leaving for somewhere else. My mother also disappeared at some point. Suddenly alone with nowhere to go, it was my aunt who took me in.

I stayed at my aunt’s house until I finished high school, and in the year I became an adult, I left with a small amount of money, almost as if I was being kicked out. The ending wasn’t very pleasant.

Lost in old memories, I snapped back to reality when a cold touch tickled my cheek. I blinked to see Karhan smiling faintly.

Karhan was alone too.

I remained quiet. If I spoke clumsily, I might end up pitying him. As I slowly nodded, Karhan’s fingers that had been tickling my face formed a pincer shape and grasped my cheek, stretching it sideways.

“Why are you like this?”

My pronunciation became distorted as my mouth stretched sideways. His silver-gray eyes shone brightly, forming a beautiful arc.

“Is there anything else you’re curious about?”

“Another thing I’m curious about… What race are you? I heard you’re mixed-blood.”

“I’m of a race called Arma. It’s a race that has existed since the world was created. Now, I’m just someone with a long lifespan who can only use a little magic. Nothing special.”

I widened my eyes and clenched my fists.

“What do you mean nothing special! It’s totally special! So that time when I pooped in my hand, you cleaned it up with magic!”

Forgetting my embarrassment, I shouted loudly. Karhan laughed softly.

“Yes, that kind of ability.”

“That’s amazing…! Show me again later!”

My heart pounded with excitement. Karhan’s eyes, which held my reflection, seemed to be brimming with joy as well.

“Then, should I answer the rest of your questions now?”

“The rest of the questions?”

“Didn’t you ask? How many lovers I’ve had, and also…”

Karhan, who usually cut off his sentences sharply, trailed off. Perhaps due to the chandelier’s light, his silver-gray eyes, which had been full of joy, sparkled. Karhan, who had been clinging close to my side, looked at me and leaned his upper body towards me.

“W-wait. If you get too close…”

Karhan suddenly brought his face closer, causing me to lean back slowly until I eventually fell back onto the sofa with a soft thud. As I stared at the ornately patterned ceiling with a dazed expression, Karhan’s face suddenly intruded into view.

“Karhan?”

“Didn’t you ask if I had any moles in secret places?”

“S-secret places…?”

Did I say something like that? As I rolled my eyes around, not knowing where to look, Karhan’s hand cupped my cheek, making me face him. I had no choice but to lift my gaze, only to find his face, wearing a cool smile, right in front of me, not far away at all.

“If you’re curious about that, I suppose I should show you.”

“Ah, no. That was just because I was flustered…! It’s fine!”

I spoke with wide eyes and a very flustered voice, but Karhan didn’t seem to hear me. Somehow, he had already positioned himself sitting between my legs. Two adult bodies entangled on this narrow sofa. I hurriedly swallowed with my parched throat.

The sound of my gulp made Karhan’s smile deepen. He must have heard it. My face started to grow hotter from embarrassment.

His fingers, which had been gently stroking my hair splayed on the sofa, brushed down as lightly as a feather and stopped at my lips. He lightly touched the plump, protruding flesh once before pressing down firmly. Feeling my lips deform unattractively, I frowned to express my displeasure, but his silver-gray eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Even when you pout your lips like an ugly duckling, it’s still pleasing to see.”

“I didn’t do that. And I’m not ugly.”

“Didn’t you pout your lips like this in front of the elf earlier?”

Saying this, he playfully pinched my lower lip lightly. I thought he wouldn’t see because he was beside me… But he saw everything. Can mixed-race beings see everything in their peripheral vision too? I deliberately tried to think of something else to divert my attention from Karhan. But as if he had seen through my intentions, Karhan’s hand once again grasped my chin, fixing my gaze on him.

“I don’t like it when what’s mine looks elsewhere.”

“…I don’t like it either.”

Remembering Ruzel, I whined with a slightly sharp tone. Noticing my unusual attitude, Karhan asked:

“Did something happen with that person?”

“It’s nothing really…”

Recalling my conversation with Ruzel made me feel upset again. His last words in my room lingered in my mind.

‘The longer the difference in remaining lifespan, the harder it is for the one with the longer life. I suggest you think carefully before getting any deeper. Perhaps your selfishness might end up hurting someone.’

In the 400 years Karhan has lived, how many people has he formed and broken ties with? Among them, there must have been people he loved, right? Lovers, perhaps…

What must it feel like to remain the same while the people you love disappear one by one?