Sissy (Niang Niang Qiang) - Chap 13
Chapter 13
Content warning: violence against a minor, suicidal ideation
“Hey, hold on to my waist!” The campus policeman turned his head to Li Chengxiu while pedaling the bike.
“Ah?” Li Chengxiu was taken aback.
“I asked you to hold on to my waist. I’m a little tipsy right now, so the bike might be a bit unstable. You don’t want to fall down, right?”
Li Chengxiu hesitated, and his hand that was holding onto the bicycle frame before grabbed the man’s clothes.
“It’s fine,” the campus policeman said with emphasis, “Hold on tighter. I don’t mind if you get closer.”
As Li Chengxiu moved towards the man, he could smell the alcohol on him, mixed with the stench of sweat. It was really pungent. Li Chengxiu frowned but obediently put his arms around his waist.
The policeman let out a laugh, and suddenly patted the back of Li Chengxiu’s hand: “Good, now I won’t have to worry that you’ll fall. Such a good boy.”
Li Chengxiu shivered, feeling a little weird.
On the way the man tried to find something to talk about, while Li Chengxiu just nodded without saying a word.
After riding for half an hour, the policeman exclaimed that he was too tired, and they got off the bike to walk for a bit. As they were walking into the old part of town in the middle of the night, less and less people passed them by. The street lights were very dim, so one couldn’t see anything farther than ten meters. The atmosphere was eerie and daunting.
The policeman put his hand on Li Chengxiu’s shoulder, lowered his head towards him and told him all about his experiences working on campus. As his face was getting closer, so was his body.
Li Chengxiu felt more and more uneasy. He didn’t know if he was just thinking too much into it but it seemed that the school policeman’s attitude towards him was a little strange. Also, he smelled of alcohol, so Li Chengxiu really didn’t want to get any closer to him.
Just as he was contemplating all of this, the man’s hand suddenly slipped from his shoulder down to his waist and gave him a light hug.
Li Chengxiu was startled and wanted to jump away.
But the man didn’t let go. He moved even closer to him and smiled:”They say, you’re a homosexual. Is that true? Don’t worry, you can tell me. I won’t tell anybody else.”
Li Chengxiu’s face was pale. He fiercely pushed the man away: “Wha… what are you doing?”
The school policeman suddenly let go of the bike and grabbed Li Chengxiu with both of his arms. With a hint of ferocity on his face he said: “I’m being so kind as to take you home at night, and you’re not even willing to chat with me? Can’t you talk to me?” With these words his hand slipped onto Li Chengxiu’s buttocks and rubbed over them a few times. “Actually, men like you are a rarity…” he smiled lewdly.
Li Chengxiu let out a scream. He could have never imagined that he would run into such a depraved situation.
He struggled desperately in the arms of the school policeman, shouting, “Help!”
Seeing that the lights of several nearby houses were still on, the man got anxious, raised his hand and slapped Li Chengxiu with all his force.
Li Chengxiu’s ears started tingling, and then all he could hear was a non-stop beeping sound. But he had no time to care about this. While crying “Help” on top of his lungs, Li Chengxiu tried his best to beat and kick the man anywhere he could reach him.
In all this chaos, curses and punches rained down on him. Li Chengxiu endured the pain, as he tried to crawl away.
After a short time, the beating finally stopped. Finally, he heard the sound of hurried footsteps and a bicycle speeding away.
Li Chengxiu hugged his head and curled up into a ball, as he lay on the cold and wet ground, like a corpse, without moving for a long time.
In the silence of the night, his shrill cries were particularly miserable. His crying got louder and louder, until it abruptly stopped and turned into choked sobbing. His tears gathered into a small pool under his head. The uncomfortable feeling of moisture was filled with sorrow, as it penetrated through his dream.
End of Flashback
Li Chengxiu woke up from his nightmare still crying. He felt that his face was wet, and the pillow towel under his head was soaked through, making it extremely uncomfortable to lie on.
Li Chengxiu wiped his tears and realized that he hadn’t even turned off the lights, before he accidentally fell asleep. He dreamed a lot about the events of the past that he didn’t want to recall anymore.
After finally regaining his senses, Li Chengxiu staggered up from the bed and went to pour himself a glass of water.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been crying but his throat was really dry.
He first turned off the lights, changed his clothes and stared at the moon outside in a daze, while holding his water glass.
Back then he was fourteen, and that night was probably the longest night of his life.
Crying the whole way, he walked home for more than two hours. When he was finally back, he found his mother foaming at the mouth, as she lay unconscious on the ground.
With the help from a neighbor he took her to the hospital. The doctors fought for her life the whole night. Li Chengxiu waited in the hospital, unable to sleep. The next day, the doctor told him that his mother had been completely paralyzed due to a stroke caused by excessive drinking.
He sat in the hospital for a long time, crying as he held onto his mother’s test results. He cried so much that he ended up fainting. Li Chengxiu remembered that in the past, no matter how difficult things got for him, he always knew deep in his heart that the Heavens would reward him in the future, if he gained independence, improved himself and worked really hard. But at that moment, he was thinking about the 843 RMB that he had left in savings, the looks of his classmates that treated him like he was a rodent or a parasyte, the awful laughter of the school policeman… and all he wanted to do was to die.
He was too young at the time, so he couldn’t figure out why his life was so difficult. He didn’t understand why nobody liked him, even though he never hurt others or did anything bad to them. Most of all, he didn’t understand why his life was the way it was.
There were too many things he didn’t understand back then… And the harsh reality didn’t give him any time to ponder on it.
When he came back to his senses, within a week he sold his family’s old house at a low price to be able to take care of his sick mother. His right ear ended up badly damaged by the beating he got from the school policeman but it was the last thing on his mind.
From that day on, he never returned to school.
His mother had become a complete waste. She spent her days in a perpetual state of confusion – she didn’t even recognize anyone anymore and couldn’t take care of herself at all. Li Chengxiu ended up going back to his hometown and borrowing a lot of money from his relatives and neighbors.
Li Chengxiu still remembered those hardest days of his life when he worked three jobs and was constantly burdened by the high hospital bills.
But even living like that, after one year, he could no longer afford to keep his mother in the hospital. The relatives in his hometown would immediately slam the door in his face when they saw him. He was running around 24 hours a day, but the pay he got for one day of work couldn’t cover one day of hospital stay for his mother.
There was no other way but to bring his mother to the house he had rented and take care of her himself.
Not long after that, his mother passed away.
He was left penniless and alone – with nothing left but despair.
At that time, there was a chef in the restaurant he was working at who was very kind to him.The man took pity on Li Chengxiu and gave him some money to be able to start an apprenticeship in the chef school. After a few years, the chef introduced him to a work opportunity in Shenzhen. He had been living in the city ever since.
Li Chengxiu really hadn’t been thinking about the past for many years. If it wasn’t for Shao Qun’s reappearance, he would have been able to completely push it out of his mind.
It was hard to say whether what happened to him was a blessing or a curse. Li Chengxiu was quite content with his current life – he had almost paid off his debt to his relatives, and things were generally going well.
But when Shao Qun appeared in his life again, he instinctively felt uneasy. He had once been bitten by that snake, and he was afraid that that person was about to make another big wave in his life. However, just like in the past, Shao Qun didn’t give him an opportunity to resist.
Li Chengxiu was still holding his water cup in a daze. Outside the window there was only a mottled wall of the opposite building. There was nothing exciting about it, yet Li Chengxiu couldn’t take his eyes off it.
When he returned home today, he was physically and mentally exhausted. But now, he couldn’t sleep.
Saturday came quickly. Li Chengxiu thought about it for a while, but still decided to go to work, in spite of Shao Qun’s request.
He felt that he shouldn’t let Shao Qun boss him around. Besides, he hadn’t actually promised him to ask for a leave that day.
Unexpectedly, in the middle of the work day, Shao Qun appeared in the hotel yet again. It’s just that this time he didn’t look for Li Chengxiu but went directly to his manager.
When Li Chengxiu entered the office, he saw President Chen and Shao Qun having a lively chat with each other, while Manager Zhang was standing on the side with a flattering smile on his face.
As soon as Li Chengxiu walked through the door, Manager Zhang quickly and affectionately pulled him over: “Oh, Chef Li, you are here! Mr. Shao came over especially for you.”
Li Chengxiu lowered his head and said, “Hello, Mr. Chen. Mr. Shao.”
President Chen laughed: “Xiao Li, Brother Shao said that you didn’t want to skip even one day of work, since things are so busy around here. As a boss, I’m very happy to have an employee like you. Haha.”
Li Chengxiu glanced at Shao Qun, wondering what his intentions were.
President Chen sighed heavily, patted Shao Qun’s shoulder and said, “Brother Shao, I’m telling you the truth! Whether it’s you or anybody else, I can’t lend my chef for such a long time! This location has just opened – it’s really busy around here.”
Shao Qun smiled and nodded, “Brother Chen, you are so mean to me.”
“All the chefs here have been transferred from other branches. We don’t have enough staff, as we’re still in the middle of hiring new chefs. It’s difficult to find the right chef nowadays, don’t you think?”
“Right. Not only do you have to look for someone who knows their craft but also make sure they don’t jump ship.”
“Yes, exactly! Just look at our Chef Li. In terms of qualifications, he is still a junior. But, amongst the younger generation, I still value him the most. Brother Shao, do you know why?”
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu and smiled without saying a word.
“Xiao Li is not only good at his craft but he is also very reliable. You can’t use this word easily anymore. I wouldn’t describe anybody else like that but, let me tell you, Chef Li is not somebody who wouldn’t come back to the hotel, if I lended him to you. Xiao Li, what do you say?” President Chen looked at him with a smile.
Li Chengxiu was a little stiff at first, but Manager Zhang secretly gave him a little push, so he quickly nodded.
Manager Zhang said: “Mr. Shao, we are actually very reluctant to give him to you. After you called yesterday, Mr. Chen and I discussed it for a while. He asked what impact it would have, if we lent Chef Li out for two weeks. I didn’t know it was a request from you, so I immediately said that it was absolutely impossible. Without Xiao Li, we’ll have to delay a lot of daily work in this hotel. Who would do it instead of him? Something like this is normally completely out of the question! President Chen was also very hesitant. But finally, we decided that since it was Mr.Shao’s special request, we didn’t mind taking a loss for our business. After all, it’s important that your sea party is perfect, since it is an announcement of your business presence in the Pearl River Delta[5].”
Shao Qun laughed: “Brother Chen, just look at your people! They really know how to talk well. I’m really grateful to Brother Chen for being so generous. After the two weeks are up, I promise I will definitely return Chef Xiao Li back to you.”
President Chen repeatedly said that Shao Qun was very welcome and then hurriedly pulled him aside to discuss his non-performing asset in Panyu, Guangzhou[6], leaving Manager Zhang and Li Chengxiu behind.
Li Chengxiu was shocked after the conversation he had just witnessed. They laughed and chatted so openly about renting him out like some kind of commodity. And no one even asked what he thought about the whole thing.
Manager Zhang took him outside and asked him to wait for Shao Qun in the corridor.
Li Chengxiu pulled at Manager Zhang’s clothes and anxiously asked, “Manager Zhang, what is going on?”
The kindness Manager Zhang had just displayed in the office had all but evaporated. The man raised his eyebrows, “What is it that you don’t understand? Mr. Shao called yesterday to request a full-time chef for his party, since he’s on a tight schedule. I hope you can provide him with the service he needs. For the next two weeks you are temporarily off work.”
Li Chengxiu’s face was pale. He opened his mouth several times but did not speak.
Manager Zhang patted him on the shoulder: “Xiao Li, you’ve worked hard. This is basically a paid holiday for you. Isn’t that a good thing? Remember, if you serve Mr. Shao well, you will be rewarded. On the other hand, if you offend him… Well, our boss needs something from him right now, so you better not offend him. Is that clear?”
Li Chengxiu nodded stiffly.
“That’s it. You wait here. When they’re done talking, Mr. Shao will directly take you away with him.”
Li Chengxiu stood outside the office for more than half an hour, before Shao Qun finally came out. Mr. Chen brought them all the way down to the parking lot and even considerately closed the car door for Shao Qun. He then waved him goodbye with a smile.
Being alone with Shao Qun in an enclosed space made Li Chengxiu really nervous for an unclear reason. His every pore screamed for an escape.
Shao Qun turned his head, smiled at him and then looked ahead: “Chengxiu, you’re really a busy man. Your phone was turned off when I called you today.”
“It’s off during working hours.”
Shao Qun let out an “oh” and suddenly said, “Put on your seat belt.”
Li Chengxiu was confused for a moment, but then turned to look for the seat belt. He didn’t know whether it was because he was too nervous but he couldn’t pull it out, even after trying several times.
Shao Qun chuckled lightly, parked the car on the side of the road and then leaned forward, his arms crossing Li Chengxiu’s body, as he grabbed his seat belt.
Li Chengxiu was so nervous that he didn’t dare to breathe. He leaned away as far as possible, pressing his back into the seat. If it was possible, he would have jumped to the back of the car just to keep his distance from Shao Qun.
When he was a child, Shao Qun was already pretty tall. Now, he was even taller. His broad shoulders hidden under a casual shirt and his sturdy and slender arms bursting with strength were no more than an inch away from Li Chengxiu. The smell of his refreshing aftershave entered his nostrils.
The time seemed to freeze in an instant. Shao Qun slowly pulled out the seat belt, tilted his head and looked straight into Li Chengxiu’s eyes. Shao Qun’s look was deep and seemed to contain countless emotions. Li Chengxiu’s heartstrings tightened and he closed his eyes on an impulse.
Li Chengxiu felt that this small action took far too long, and he was relieved when his seat belt was finally buckled in with a “click”, and Shao Qun’s invisible pressure was lifted off him.
However, Shao Qun suddenly leaned over again. He put his elbows on the armrest, smiled and whispered right into Li Chengxiu’s ear: “Why are you so nervous every time we are alone?”
Li Chengxiu stretched out his neck, fixing his eyes on the view in front of him, as he didn’t dare to look back at Shao Qun. “That’s not true,” he insisted.
Shao Qun chuckled softly, got back into his seat and took the car back to the driveway.
